Irish Beauty
by NomiVengeance
Summary: Amber McManus leaves Ireland to work in Atlanta hospital. When the world ends, she's on the run and finds refuge in a group, catching the attention of a certain Dixon. Daryl/OC. Rated M for future chapters. Story will contain all of the seasons rather than being split into sequels, so far season 1 is complete and season 2 is in progress.
1. The Beginning

I found myself in America, enjoying the rest of my summer before officially starting a nursing job in Atlanta hospital. I had studied nursing in Ireland a few years ago, where I was born and raised, and decided to move over to America for better job opportunities.

A few days a week I would volunteer at the hospital giving me the opportunity to get used to the hospital and get acquainted with the other nurses before I started officially working there in a few months time. A few nights a week I worked at a small bar near my apartment on the outskirts of the city, it wasn't an overly popular bar, not like the bars and nightclubs in the city. It had its regular customers, the majority of drinkers were older men and 'rednecks' as people would call them.

It was in this very bar I had the absolute pleasure of meeting one of the redneck regulars; Merle _fuckin'_ Dixon.

I had never met a man quite like him. He was rude, racist, sexist, loud and acted like an overly horny teenage boy or as some might say, a pervert, but he sure did make the boring nights at work interesting.

Unfortunately since I was the only woman who worked in the place, bar dear old Martha who sometimes helped her husband Doc run the place, I was the lucky one who got to be Merle's prey.

It started out with rude comments about how I was Irish scum, how us Irish shouldn't have come here after the famine. He wasn't too pleased when I pointed out there was a good chance some of his ancestors were the 'Irish scum' that came over here. After that he moved on to being the pig he's known as, asking me to 'sit on his lap' while he wiggled his eyebrows, telling me he would show me what a 'real' man looked like while grabbing his crotch, while pulling the handle of the tap down so the beer would pour into the glass he'd tell me I should be gripping his dick like that instead, until one day he groped my ass while I was walking past.

"woo wee, what a fine piece o' ass ye got der girly. I can't wait ta get ye on yer knees an-"

I whirled round and slammed the tray onto the counter before pointing a finger at him, my Irish accent coming out stronger with my anger "You listen here Dixon and you listen good ya dirty redneck. I don't who the fuck you think ya are but you'll start treatin' me with a bit of respect. I'm not some slut that you can treat like dirt and I sure as hell am not gonna spread my legs like one for ya either. Now you're either gonna sit there and shut the fuck up or you're gonna leave and not come back til you can treat me like the woman I am and with the respect me, Doc and Martha deserve. You hear?"

Spinning around I made my way around the bar, cleaning the bench and silently praising myself. The look on Merle Dixon's face was priceless. He was angry, but shocked and I even thought I seen a bit of respect hidden in his gaze.

It was silent for about a minute, before he let out a huge snort, "Well jaysus! You're not bad for a leprechaun!"

I raised an eyebrow, "Leprechaun? Why because I'm Irish?" I was irritated, of course that's all Americans think about us Irish.

"No, because you're small AND Irish"

"Oh fuck you Dixon"

He roared with laughter, "What the hell do you think I've been tryna get ya to do these past few weeks?"

Stupid fuckin' hick.

/

A few weeks had passed, my days consisting of the same thing:

Volunteer at the hospital, go home. Days off, do nothing, until work at the bar that night.

About a week ago a young girl, only the age of 3 was brought in after being in a car crash with her parents. The girl had a broken arm and received a head injury, nothing too fatal but the doctors wanted to keep her in a while to keep an eye on her. Unfortunately her parents didn't make it, the dad dying instantly at the crash scene, the mum passing away a few days later. They had no other family. I went down a few times to see her, telling her how Abby was doing, I was even there when she passed away, not before gripping onto my hand and begging me to look after her little girl.

"Promise me you'll take care of my baby in here."

"I promise"

And so I did.

I was the one who had to tell Abby her mummy and daddy were in heaven now, I was there with her for hours, comforting her, nursing her back to health when the other nurses were busy with other children.

The nights at the bar were much the same, Merle and I actually getting along, despite throwing insults at each other.

Merle couldn't believe he developed a close, frienly relationship with a woman, I just couldn't believe I had developed a friendship with _him_ at all.

He'd call me a leprechaun, call me his 'lucky charm' due to the expression 'the luck of the Irish', sometimes he'd call me Nessie after the Loch Ness monster.

"Merle, the legend of the Loch Ness monster is based in Scotland. Not Ireland. I wish you people would get that right!"

"Ah Irish, Scottish, you're all the same. Sure there are Irish-Scots"

"Oh well done, you actually know something"

"Shut up potato lover. Stupid Irish and their potato fetish"

"Seriously Merle, potato lover?"

We would talk about stupid things and we would talk about meaningful things. He'd tell me about his brother and I'd tell him about my folks back home.

I briefly met his brother Daryl one night, the man stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Merle and I facing each other over the bar, debating about which country was better – America or Ireland.

"You stupid leprechauns don't know anything! America is the place to be. There's loads ta see, they have fine women and of course alcohol, not to mention you can get drugs anywhere!"

I snorted "Aye Merle, way to convince me this is such a great place to be in. Ireland is beautiful, well some of it at least. Where I'm from there's beautiful fields, woods, so much wildlife. There's no pollution or city lights blocking the sky. Our women are better, classier, not those STD ridden whores you hump 'n' dump. We bloody came up with that Guinness you drink! I'm tellin' ya Dixon, Ireland wins. You stupid bloody hick" I smirked

He opened his mouth to retaliate when the sound of someone clearing their throat interrupted.

Merle's face lit up, "Oi Daryl, brother! 'Mere an' say hello to this fine piece o' Irish meat"

Rolling my eyes at Merle, I glanced over at 'Daryl' who nodded in my direction, looking between me and his brother.

Well bloody hell.

"You sure he's your brother Merle? He's too good lookin to be related to _you_" Shutting my mouth quickly while I could feel heat raising to my cheeks. I guess I didn't mean to say that out loud.

"Ah jesus. I spend all this time trying to get ya to sleep with ma and as soon as ya seen my brother yer fuckin' him with yer eyes!" He laughed

Daryl and Merle stayed for a while longer and I got to know the younger Dixon brother I had heard so much about. He seemed quite quiet at first but soon loosened up and spent the night joking about with his brother and I.

Doc shouted that the bar was closing and the other customers began leaving.

"Suppose yer hopin' Darylina here will ask ye back to our place huh?" Merle asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

"No I'm not!" I felt myself blushing

"What if _I _asked ya back?" He said, a cocky grin on his face.

I rolled my eyes at him, "Get the hell outta here Dixon, I'm closing you rat!"

"Yeah yeah love you too Amber!"

Merle sauntered out of the bar, Daryl throwing a glance over his shoulder in my direction before following after.

Those god damn blue eyes.

That was the last time I saw Merle before the world went to shit.

I'm far from religious, but when God promised resurrection of the dead, I didn't think he had this in mind.


	2. The Escape

The light peeking in from the blinds onto my face woke me but for once I didn't care. It was really, _really_ warm today and I had a good feeling it was going to be a nice, hot summers day. Or perhaps it's always like this. In Ireland every season consists of wind, rain and snow and if we're lucky, a bit of sun that last a few hours. I kept expecting that particular weather every time I left my apartment, especially today. I was in a particularly good mood this morning and glared up at the sky, silently threatening it not to rain and ruin my mood.

There had been something on the news the past few days about a virus, victims having flu like symptoms and many of them dying from it. Last night before  
I went to bed I flicked on the news to hear someone with the virus supposedly died, yet woke up and attacked another person. The virus was obviously a lot worse than first thought and there were warnings about avoiding these people and even leaving the area. I didn't think it would be too bad, deciding to sleep tonight and even though it was my day off, I knew I had to get to the hospital tomorrow to check on Abby. Social services had been contacted about her and Abby would soon be discharged from the hospital.

The one thing I definitely hated was traffic on the highway leading into the city. What I did notice was the unusual amount of cars going _out_ of the city. On the way to the hospital I noticed a lot of shops closing up or people coming out of their houses with boxes and bags full of food and belongings. I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach, maybe things were worse than I thought.

"What the bloody hell" I mumbled as I manoeuvred my way around badly parked cars in the hospital car park, finally making it to the staff section. Walking through the front doors, I stopped dead in my tracks, "Jesus, Mary and Joseph". People were running around the hospital screaming, a lot of them pushing past me to exit the hospital. People looked feverish and on the verge of death; there was blood all over the walls and floor, blood dripping from wounds, and I looked over at what I assumed was a dead body covered with a sheet, when all of a sudden the person from under it got up.

"How the hell is that possible?" I felt like I had walked in on a nightmare.

A few people shuffling slowly actually looked dead, one of them grabbing on to a nurse that ran past. My attention was diverted when all of a sudden the military came into the main area, loaded with guns and began shooting at the wounded, one of them killing the person I saw under the sheet. They then started shooting at the staff.

I had to gulp and snap my mouth shut, feeling the bile rise up my throat. I took off running towards the lifts, pressing the button for the top floor where the children's ward was. I needed to get Abby and get out of there. Going up seemed to take forever. Finally the doors opened and I rushed my way through them.

This place was a mess. Parents were grabbing their children from the hospital beds, not listening to the shouting doctors.

A nurse I worked with a few times was clutching her bleeding arm. I ran up to her, "Sarah, you should be off night duty by now! What the hell is going on?"

She turned to me sobbing, "It's the virus. People get it and they start attacking other. Don't let them get you Amber, you have to get out of here!"

"I don't understand, the virus can't be that bad! Let me clean your arm"

"No! It _is _bad. Listen to me, people died and came back to life. It happened all of a sudden last night. When they wake up, they're like monsters, they just attack. We don't know what it is or how to treat it but if they get you, you could be like them, I've seen it! Who would have thought zombie movies would become reality huh? Don't let them get close, kill them if you have to. It's too late for me now Amber but you need to get out of here now!"

"I saw a dead body from beneath a sheet just get up like they'd woken up all of a sudden, this is the virus doing that?"

She nodded frantically, tears springing from her eyes, "When the people get attacked, eaten, they die and then they come back again, only they're not themselves. They're monsters!"

"Well what about all these people? I could help-"

"No Amber, there's no helping. Why do you think parents are taking their children from here? They're escaping. You need to go now!"

"What about Abby, have the social services taken her?"

She shook her head, "Nothing has even been processed, they were only notified and were supposed to come yesterday to get details. We phoned but there's no answer. As far as I'm concerned everybody is leaving. Just take Abby and go."

She gave me a hug, holding tightly, "You save yourself before you become one of them. You get yourself as far away from here as you can. Avoid hospitals; it seems to be happening everywhere now. Don't let these things bite or scratch you. Do you understand?"

I blinked back tears, nodding quickly at her before I ran to Abby's room throwing open the door, not seeing her anywhere. My heart thumped, panic setting in. "Abby!" I calmed slightly when my darting eyes settled on a bright pink arm cast before long flows of brown ringlets appeared from under the bed. I flung myself on my knees cradling her to me. "I'm here now. It's ok, you're so brave". Her sniffles subsided, big brown teary eyes looking into my hazel ones.

"I thought you left me" she whimpered.

"No, no I'd never leave you. I'm going to get us out of here but I need to go get a few things first ok? You stay right under this bed and only come out if you hear my voice, ok? Promise"

Her bottom lip trembled as she spoke "Promise"

"And I promise I'll be right back".

Holding out our hands we crossed our pinky fingers together. Waiting until she was hiding under the bed, I closed the door and ran for the stock room, grabbing two small bags from beside the door and messily filling them with more than one of every item; bandages,syringes, painkillers in different forms from tablets to liquids, from Tylenol to morphine.

I'd sort the bags in order later when I had time, right now my main priority was getting Abby and I to safety.

I didn't know exactly what this virus was, why it caused people to attack and why the victims got infected and 'turned' but I knew we needed to get out of here, out of the city quickly.

I exited the stock room, ready to get back to Abby when a scream made me turn in time to see one of the doctor's rip his teeth into a woman's throat, another one joining and attaching itself to her arm.

"What the fuck?!" I turned my head to the side, not being able to hold the bile down any longer and emptied my stomach.

On the wall in front of me was an axe, so I used my elbow to smash the glass to get to it. Grabbing it quickly I ran towards the woman and the thing. It wasn't human, not anymore. Humans' don't attack people like that, don't eat people – unless they're a cannibal – but this was something worse, the only way to describe the thing was, like Sarah said, a zombie. I kept repeating this over and over in my head as I swung the axe and brought it straight down in the zombie's head.

The other zombie was gnawing away at her arm, too focused on the victim to notice me. I quickly dealt with him before turning to the woman, bleeding out on the floor.

I shouted for help and pulled my jacket off, pressing it to the enormous wound on her neck but knowing it would do no good. She was bleeding out profusely and had already lost too much blood. I looked around realising my shout for help wouldn't be answered, the staff were escaping along with everyone else. All of a sudden she started chocking and her eyes rolled back in her head. If this was a normal day I'd do everything in my power to save her but I knew I may not be able to save her life however if I was right about that thing being a zombie, chances are she'd be infected. I could hear moaning and looked up to see more of the things shuffling down the hall towards us. Taking a deep breath to calm myself, I looked down at the bleeding woman. "I'm sorry" was all I said before swinging the axe down onto her neck.

I just killed someone, a human.

I wasn't sure whether I was going to be sick or pass out but now was not the time. I done the right thing and now I had to go.

Looking down at myself, my nurse uniform was drenched in blood which would scare Abby. Looking down at the dead doctor, his coat was fairly clean so as quickly as I could I pulled it off him, slightly gagging at the faint smell of blood and death clinging to it. _Dr Roberts_ was the name on the name tag.

Throwing the coat on, grabbing the bags and clenching the axe in the other hand, I ran back to Abby's room, "Come one Abby, we have to leave now"

I ran to the bedside cabinet, grabbing the plastic bag that held her clothes and her parent's belongings, throwing it into one of the duffels.

"Abby I want you to close your eyes ok. It's scary out here and you don't want to see it" I said over my shoulder. Abby responded my tucking her head into my neck.

I froze for a second as we left the room. I had been up here for about ten minutes, but downstairs in the main area where the front doors were could have gotten a lot worse, those things could be down there and the military could shoot us on sight.

Running to the end of the hall, jumping over bodies and not paying attention to anyone else running around, I opened the window which led out onto the fire escape. Now was not the time to be freaking out over heights. I hesitated for a second, when all of a sudden gun shots rang out and I looked over my shoulder to see the military entering the ward, shooting any one in sight.

I quickly jumped down onto the fire escape and carefully made my way down. It took a while but I managed to get us down the flights of steps safely and sighed in relief when I noticed how close we were to the staff car park. I looked around, seeing staff and other people running from the hospital, trying to escape and noticing a few other figures shuffling along, their clothes ripped, and wounds covering their discoloured skin. I made a beeline for my truck, catching the attention of some of the dead, and threw open the back door and helping Abby into the seat.

"Lock the door Abby" I closed the door, watching her push down the lock before throwing open the passenger door and dumping the bags onto it.

"Watch out!" I heard Abby scream, at the same time I felt something grab onto my hair and moan in my ear.

"Fuck!" I struggled against the body, swinging the axe backwards near my head. I heard rather than felt it come in contact with the things face, its hand loosening the grip on my hair. Not stopping to look at it, I slammed the door shut, jumping over the bonnet and sliding into the driver's side, locking the doors in time before more of them came towards the car, banging their hands on the windows, their teeth snapping.

It was hard to believe that these were once people but now they were dead. Dead, yet still walking, still sort of half alive. The Living Dead.

Abby's screams caught my attention and I turned around to face her. "I'm going to get us out of here ok. Don't look at those people Abby, just close your eyes and get some sleep, we'll be safe soon"

"They are bad people aren't they?"

"Yeah they are, and you have to promise that you will never go near them. You must always stay with me alright?"

"Alright"

Turning around, I took a deep breath to calm myself before I turned on the car and revved the engine, a female thing trying to climb onto the bonnet.

"Out of my way you munter" I growled, pressing on the accelerator, the car slamming into her body.

I sped out of the hospital heading back towards the highway. I wanted to get home, grab my stuff and check on Doc and Martha.

I'd been waiting for about 20 minutes on the highway, already bumper to bumper with the car in front. Nobody was going anywhere. "Jesus I'll be here til next week at this rate" Eventually we got back to my apartment, the sun was still high in the sky and it looked peaceful, until we got closer to see blood smeared all over the walls.

Quickly and quietly getting out, I grabbed Abby's hand and ran to the entrance, not having to type in the code to open the door because it was left open, bloody handprints smeared on it as if someone or some_thing_ was trying to get in. It hit me just how lucky I was, what if I didn't leave today, would those things have come in here and got me? I pressed the up button and cursed when the elevator wouldn't work. The landlord promised weeks ago he'd get that fixed.

"I'm going to put you on my back again and I want you to keep looking behind us. If you see anyone following us you have to let me know ok?" I whispered to Abby who nodded, before helping her onto my back.

I slowly pushed open the door that led to the stairwell cringing when it creaked. I tried to get up the stairs as quickly as I could, stopping at each door to peek through the dirty glass. Blood streaked across the walls and floors and I saw a few bodies lying about too.

I couldn't believe how quickly this all happened.

I made it to the third floor, grabbing the handle and cringing when my hand touched blood. I slowly pushed the door open not seeing anyone and made my way down the hall, axe gripped with both hands.

I locked the door behind me and allowed Abby to have a look around as I gathered my things. As I wasn't here long I didn't have a lot of stuff, so I was able to pack clothes and toiletries quickly stuffing the bag with spare cash. All I had to pack into another bag was tinned food and perishable food that Abby and I could eat on our journey, a few pillows and my sleeping bag.

I helped Abby out of her hospital clothes and into her old ones and put her mother's necklace around her neck. I turned on the tv while I went into the kitchen to make Abby and I a quick sandwich, to see if there was anything on the news about what was happening.

"_Scientists say this is like nothing they have ever encountered before. Within the space of a night, this 'flu' has turned out to be quite a lot more than that killing hundreds of people already. We've had reports that those with the virus are coming back to life after it seems like they have died, attacking other humans. We urge that everyone please remain calm and if possible stay indoors and avoid anyone with flu like symptoms. There is a refugee centre in Atlanta City and some being set up in other places which we will inform you of later. The army will be travelling through towns picking up survivors to take them there. We will keep you updated with any further news if possible." _

"Refugee centre? Are they kidding? This place is a wreck, there's no help now" I muttered to myself and glanced at Abby who was snacking on her sandwich, not paying attention.

/

"Doc? Martha?" I called out into the empty bar. There was a piece of paper attached to the mirror behind the counter with my name on it.

_Amber,_

_I want to thank you so much for the help you gave Martha and I. Not just at the bar but with other things too. Over the short period of time that we knew you, you became a daughter to us. I hope you get this. Things are different now, all of a sudden today people are dying and coming back to life, it's hectic, the world is ending. I want you to get somewhere safe, get far away from here. I don't know whether this is just happening here or if it's all over the world, just find somewhere to hide and live comfortably. _

_By the time you read this, Martha and I will no longer be here. I never dreamt of suicide being the way I or my wife went out, but it's the only way we can see leaving this place without being harmed. Don't be saddened, we won't suffer and Martha and I will be together in the next life. All the money from the safe is hiding behind your favourite bottle of alcohol – I don't want to say the name, just in case someone else is reading this before you – take the gun too, it's fully loaded and you know where the extra ammo is. Use wisely, if you have to attack anyone and they're close range, don't waste a bullet. There's a bag under the counter that I've stacked with alcohol I know you'll like, no point in wasting good stuff!_

_Please take care of yourself, be careful out there, be careful of who you trust. Someday, a very long time from now, we'll see each other again. I hope everything sorts itself out. You're a great girl, Martha and I are extremely proud of you; keep doing us proud._

_All my love, Doc (and Martha)_

I wiped the tears away from my face, only noticing I was sobbing. It felt like a punch in the gut, a hole in the chest. The two people that helped me through my time here, the two people that became family, were gone. Apart from Abby, I was alone.

Sucking it up for the time I jumped over the counter, standing on the stool to reach the top shelf were a full bottle of Jack Daniels was sitting. Doc must have put a new one there for me. Behind it in an envelope was a wad of money. I took the bottle and the money even though with the way things were going, I doubted I'd ever need to pay for anything again. Jumping down I grabbed the shot gun from under the counter and the boxes of ammo, laughing to myself at the weight of the bag filled with alcohol, god knows how much he put in it, and made my way back outside. I locked the doors with the key I had before racing to the car and dumping whatever I had in my hands on the floor in front of the back seats.

I brushed the curls off Abby's sleeping face and gently kissed her forehead.

I took one more glance at the bar before hightailing down the highway, out of the city.

Looking in my rear view mirror at the fading city – no longer Atlanta, but the city of the dead – I felt saddened and scared.

We were going out into the unknown. I just hoped for Abby's and my sake, that we'd find other survivors to help us and that we'd be safe.

I smiled to myself as I thought of Merle, wondering what he was doing.

I couldn't believe I was even thinking this, but God would I give anything to see him again.

/

**Just to clear up, the virus had been about for the past few days, Amber heard on the news before she went to bed that it was getting worse and basically shit hit the fan while she was sleeping, that's why she wasn't expecting it. I know when I'm on a shift I like to go to bed reallyyyy early the night before so she basically done the same thing and missed all the news headlines etc during the night. Just in case you wonder why it seems so rushed, like one minute the world is fine, the next it's not.**


	3. Officer Rick Grimes

Abby and I had been cooped up in a small roadside hotel for weeks or months, I had lost track of time. I only ever left to turn the car on, making sure the battery wouldn't die if the car was left sitting a long time. After leaving Doc's bar we had only driven a few miles out of the city, which had taken hours due to the traffic on the highway, when the car was low on fuel.

I had stopped at a gas station and topped up and figured I might as well fill a few cans to keep in the boot of the car. I didn't have to pay for anything since nobody was around, it's not like you could really call it stealing with the way the world seemed to be going.

I had managed to get in contact with my family briefly on the phone the day we escaped from Atlana, crying with relief when I found out they were safe. Apparently this thing was over there too which meant it could be all over the world by now.

They had made it to our cabin in the forest, one we used during holiday time. It was up on a hill and surrounded by a lake and a good enough distance away from any town or city. Dad was an excellent hunter and I knew the rest of the family would be fine living out there. We McManus's were born to live in that kind of environment, we belonged with nature. It ran in our blood. My siblings and I were taught how to camp, hunt, fish, skin and cook animals by our dad and grandfather. They promised to look after themselves and that they would stay there for as long as they could. They made me promise I'd look after myself too and if it was ever safe, to try somehow to make it back to Ireland. The place didn't seem to be as badly hit as America and the army had secured the place, looking after the people and preventing anything bad from getting in.

I think it was time Abby and I left here. As much as I didn't want to leave the comfort and safety, food was extremely low, we needed more supplies and clothes and I had to keep going, find somewhere really safe for us to stay.

I had arranged the medical bags and I took half of everything and put one half in one bag and the other half in the second bag. That way, both bags had the same medical supplies in them and if one bag was lost, I'd at least have the other bag full of every kind of item. I was kicking myself for not grabbing more supplies though, what I had was a very small amount.

Running a hand through my hair, I peeked out of the window checking for zombies. Just one and he was right beside the car.

I turned around looking at Abby who was colouring in, "I'll be back in a minute Abby, I'm just makin' sure I have everything in the car. You stay right there"

She looked up from her book for a second, "Promise?"

"I promise" I ruffled her hair as I walked past, leaving the room. Grabbing the axe that was leaning against the door I hurried my way to the entrance, opening the door slowly and slipping out quietly.

The walker lifted his head to sniff the hair before turning around, eyes narrowing in on me.

I could feel my face scrunch in disgust. The walker was missing his left arm and had a massive chunk taken out of his side, guts spilling out. As for his face, with having no jaw at all and practically half of it chewed off, he wouldn't be winning any beauty pageants any time soon.

Not giving him any time to shuffle towards me, I ran up to him slamming the axe into his head, smirking when he dropped like a sack of potatoes.

I heard a noise behind me and had just turned around before I felt myself falling, something slamming into me, growling in my ear. I grabbed onto the front of its shirt, pushing as hard as I could to keep it away from my neck. Trying to get my feet under its body I pushed with my hands and legs, sending it flying backwards. Reaching for the axe that slipped from my hand as I fell, I lunged at the dead person before it had a chance to get up, hitting it in the face with the axe until it stopped moving.

"Way too close" I groaned. I quickly went to work dragging the bodies away from the car, hiding them so Abby wouldn't see them when she came down. Wiping the axe clean on the shirt of the last walker, I ran back inside to get Abby so we could start our journey.

Once I got her buckled in, I decided to head back towards the direction of the city. I planned on getting some supplies but not staying for more than 20 minutes. I wanted to be in and out because I'd have to leave Abby waiting in the car.

Taking a deep breath to calm myself I headed towards Atlanta city, hoping to God we'd make it there and out safely. I didn't know what I was getting myself in for.

/

I drove slowly passed abandoned cars as I reached the city, knowing people were trying to escape but probably didn't get too far. It was quiet – too quiet. It was unnerving.

Shops windows were smashed, buses and cars were overturned, an abandoned army tank sat with some dead bodies lying around it. Glancing in the mirror I checked to see Abby in a deep sleep, blanket pulled up to her face, cuddling her teddy.

Turning round a corner I slammed the breaks on, "Oh sweet Jesus". My hands gripped on the steering wheel, I could feel sweat breaking off me. I couldn't believe what I'd just driven into. Hundreds of zombies walking around, a good distance away from where I was that none had heard or seen me.

I could see movement from the corner of my eye and peered up, seeing a group of people standing on the roof of a store, waving down. A black man was standing with binoculars looking into the herd of zombies, before wiping a hand down his face and looking up at the sky. I looked up as well, not understanding what he was seeing, until the first drop hit the window. The others were looking at the sky too, before all rushing to the edge of the roof, looking down at the walking dead.

I frowned, could they be affected by rain? I looked at the herd, only to see a lot of them moving forwards, something caught their attention. I reached to the passenger side, opening the compartment and pulling out a small pair of binoculars. I could just make out two of the dead, seeming to be walking faster than the others, until I looked closer. They had weapons in their hands, guts draped over their clothes. I could feel my mouth open in shock. They were actually humans, and at this rate they were going to get themselves killed.

I could see them running now, the rain having washed the blood – which I assumed to be zombies to hide their human scent – off of them. They were heading towards a van, which had a metal fence in front of it.

I froze for a second before deciding what to do. "Oh Jesus, Mary and Joseph I can't believe I'm doing this!" I hoped like hell Abby wouldn't wake up and see. I knew if she caught a glimpse, she'd have nightmares for weeks.

Quickly I blast the horn, only holding it long enough to get their attention and not long enough that the noise would scare Abby awake. I glanced backwards to see she was still sleeping heavily, mostly tired from getting up early. Some zombies turned their heads in our direction and started making their way towards us, others beginning to follow them. I put the car in reverse, before swinging round and driving off. They were too far away to get us but the noise and movement of the car would steal their attention away from the people.

If they followed me, I could divert them away from the men, giving them a chance to get to their van.

I glanced in the mirror, seeing the figures trying to catch up but failing. Out of nowhere I could hear a large wailing sound in the distance, it sounded like the alarm of a car. I drove about a bit more before heading back towards the store. A white van was outside of it, I could see a group of people piling into the back, the driver waving me to follow him.

I pressed down on the accelerator zooming passed just as a large number of zombies stumbled out of the building. My heart was thumping rapidly, those people were sure as hell lucky.

We were heading back out of the city, when the wailing sound appeared again. I looked behind me to see a fancy red car, zoom passed, with a very exciting looking driver.

The white van in front signalled for me to pull over, so I followed his instruction, grabbing one of the guns before stepping cautiously out of the car. The driver, who happened to be wearing a sheriff's outfit, stepped out, rushing over to me.

"Ma'am I can't thankyou enough for what you did; putting yourself in danger like that to help Glen and I from the walkers. I'm truly thankful. My name is Rick Grimes" He stated holding a hand out.

"Walkers?" I questioned.

He shrugged, "It's just what we call them"

Huh, better than zombies I suppose.

I looked at his face for a second, he seemed genuine enough, "Amber McManus" I said taking his hand. He looked slightly surprised, "You're Irish! I've always wanted to go to Ireland"

I smirked, "Look I don't mean to be rude or anythin' but I don't think now's the time for chattin'. With that car alarm goin' off it's bound to be attracting unwanted attention"

"Amber? Who is that?" A small voice called from inside

Rick looked surprised again, peering his face into the car, finally noticing Abby.

"This is Rick, he's an officer. Anyway" I said turning back to Rick, "We should be going right?"

"Yes of course, listen these people have a camp, children at it too. You and your daughter should join us"

I didn't correct him when he called Abby my daughter, but I had a quick think about whether going with these people was a good idea. Rick seemed a nice man and Abby could do with being around other children.

I nodded, "All right, lead the way Officer"

/

**Oh Amber, stupidly trying to play the hero. Sorry if it seemed a bit unrealistic, her distracting the walkers and all but it's the first thing I thought of!**


	4. Meeting The Group

We pulled up to a quarry, I smirked slightly as I could see the driver of the red car, who I assumed was Glen, getting chewed out by an older man and a muscular guy with a shot gun, but with the way his eyes were glued to the car, I doubted he cared.

One man got out of the passenger side, running straight for a woman and two children, the others in the back of the van hopped out, each nodding at me before running off to the rest of the group. I grabbed my gun, tucking it into the waist band of my jeans before getting out and going round the back to lift a sleeping Abby out.

I walked past the van, noticing Rick still sitting in the driver seat. "Officer, you alright?"

He looked up before smiling and nodding slightly, stepping out just as someone called out for 'helicopter guy' and 'superwoman' to come meet everyone.

Rick chuckled, "I'm assuming you're the superwoman since you saved everyone"

I raised an eyebrow, "Helicopter guy?" He shrugged, "I'll explain later"

He put his arm on my shoulder and we walked up to the rest of the group

"Dad?"

Rick stopping dead in his tracks for a few seconds before making his way to a young boy who was making a beeline for him.

"Dad!" Rick fell to the ground scooping the boy into his arms and crying into his shoulder.

The rest of the group were stunned, some smiling, others like me having tears in their eyes. Unlike the rest who were hugging family members in relief that they made it back safely, Rick was hugging this boy and who I assumed was his wife, like he hadn't seen them in years. They must have been separated. I hugged Abby closer to me, who had just woken up, even though she wasn't my daughter, I couldn't imagine being separated from her.

After a few minutes when the shock wore off the older man with the beard turned to me, "And who might you be?" He smiled as he walked over, "I'm Dale" He had a kind smile and a nice aura to him, I couldn't help but smile back.

"Amber McManus and this sleepin' beauty is Abby"

"Well aren't you a pretty girl" He rubbed Abby under the chin, tickling her and causing her to giggle as she hid her face in my neck.

Rick came over then, throwing an arm around my shoulder and rubbing a hand over Abby's head, "Amber saved mine and Glen's lives, if it wasn't for her I don't think we would have made it"

"Or us" The blonde haired woman walked over, taking my hand and squeezing it, "Thank you, for risking yourself like that. You brought me back to my sister"

I could feel my face go red, I wasn't used to compliments but I was always one to blush easily anyway. "It was nothin'. I'd like to think someone would have saved me if I was in trouble"

"You don't take a lot of credit do you?" Glen said

I shrugged, "I'm a nurse, and it's just in my blood to help people. I do it because I want to, not because I want to be credited for it. Saving people or even being there for them in their last moments, knowing I've helped them in any way I could is all I need. It was stupid of me, doing what I did, but I didn't think. I saw you in trouble and couldn't _not_ help"

"Amazing, you're such a kind hearted soul, just like my wife was" Dale said with a smile. "Anyway, come meet the rest of us"

/

There were Morales and his family, though they seemed to be very quiet but kind people. There was Carol, a quiet lady and her daughter Sophia, and her disgusting pig of a husband Ed. He liked to think he controlled the two and I could see the bruises that littered Carol's body. I'd make sure Abby would go nowhere near him.

The two blonde's Andrea and Amy were sisters and despite the age gap, they seemed very close – Dale had taken them under his wing. Glen, the pizza guy, had taken to calling me Ireland so I playfully called him China. The first time he whined, "not you too! I'm Korean" making me laugh, wondering who else he had to tell that to.

Jim and Jacqui were too quiet people but had big smiles on their faces, Jacqui seemed to be quite the motherly type. Shane, Rick's best friend and right hand man, had squeezed my shoulder, thanking me for helping his brother, though there seemed to be a sadness that lingered in his eyes.

Finally, Lori and Carl. They both hugged me tightly thanking me for saving their husband and father although throughout the day I did notice her steal glances in Shane's direction and the same with him, later on hearing Lori tell him that 'what we had between us was a mistake'. Perhaps I didn't want to know what that was about, but it was hard not to guess.

The day was really spent getting to know everyone and hear their stories, I had gotten close to Andrea, Carol and Dale.

"You remind me a lot of my wife you know" He had said with a sad smile, "You look so like her when she was your age. She had a heart of gold and the greatest personality. She was loyal and fierce when she had to be. She would have loved you. I lost her to cancer a few years ago"

I just knew he and I would get along great, he seemed like a father figure in the group and Abby adored him already, pulling on his beard and asking him if he was Santa.

/

We were sitting round the fire now, Rick telling us how he felt when he woke up in the hospital.

"Fear, confusion, all those things but disoriented, I guess that comes closest" He said, while holding Carl.

"They said they were going to evacuate the patient's to Atlanta but that never happened" Lori told him.

"I'm not surprised, the hospital was a bloody disaster" I said, causing everyone to turn to me. "I briefly heard the night before that the virus that had broken out was getting out of control, some people dying from it, even people attacking others and the advice to leave the city. I got to the hospital and there were dead bodies lying on the floors, some people even looked dead yet they were walking around then I see a dead body get up. The next thing military started shooting at random. I didn't know what was goin' on but I had to find Abby. I got up to the ward, and it was horrible. Parents were taking their children and trying to make a run for it. A nurse I worked with explained what was happening, I couldn't believe it until I saw a doctor bite a woman, tear into like she was a piece of meat. I knew then something was seriously wrong, I killed the thing." I felt my eyes tear up, "I tried helping her but she bled out faster than I've ever seen, no medical attention would save her from turning into whatever that doctor was so I used the axe on her too. After that I took Abby and we left the city, hid out in a small hotel until now"

Shane reached over and squeezed my hand, "Don't feel guilty about killin' that woman. You did the right thing, putting her outta her misery and saving her from becoming one of those walkers. She probably would have thanked you"

"Shane's right. You were protecting yourself and Abby. I thought she was your daughter though?" Rick said

I shook my head, "No, her parents and her got into a car accident, the dad died right away. Abby had a head injury so the Doctors wanted to keep her in for a while, to be safe, I looked after her the whole time. I knew she had no family and I couldn't leave her on her own like that. We had informed social services not too long before the virus got worse, they were due to come in and get details but one of the nurses said they never turned up. Probably escaping like the rest of us. She might not be my daughter by blood, but I love her like one."

"That's an amazing thing for you to do. Not many people would take on that kind of responsibility, especially now in this kind of world where looking after someone else could slow you down" Amy said.

"What made you go to the city anyway?" Glen asked

"Food and supplies were runnin' low. I can hunt for animals but I wasn't near any woods, figured I'd make a quick stop in the city, not realising how bad it'd be. Then I see you two eejits on a suicide mission. How does it feel to be saved by a girl?" I smirked, laughing while Glen blushed.

Our conversation was cut short by Ed, throwing another log onto his fire.

"Hey Ed, wanna rethink that log?"

"S'cold man" He muttered back

"Cold doesn't break the rules does it?" Shane snapped. "Keep the fires low, just amber so we won't be seen from a distance"

Shane got up and spoke quietly to Ed while Carol took the log off, Ed sat on his lazy ass watching her. Shane muttered a few words to Carol and Sophia before coming back down to our fire.

I frowned, poor woman was probably going to get an earful from her husband.

"Have you given any thought to Dar-" Dale was cut off when Abby's cries came from the car. I had wrapped her up in several blankets and put her down for bed but the poor girl was probably having nightmares again.

I stood up, "I guess that's my cue. I'm just goin' to go sleep once I settle Abby down"

"Do you have a tent?" Jim asked

I shook my head, "I'll just sleep in the car with Abby for now. Goodnight to you all"

I got into the car, after a chorus of goodnights, rocking Abby back to sleep, glancing out the window at the group. They seemed to be arguing over something. I was too tired to care and after making sure the doors were locked, fell to sleep, thoughts of how Merle and my family were doing on my mind.


	5. Daryl Bloody Dixon!

**If there is anything in particular you guys would like to see happen, please feel free to give me some of your ideas. As much as this story is mine, it's important you get to read what you want, so don't hesitate to suggest anything and I'll see if it'll work with the story.**

/

The next morning, camp life was busy with activities. I let Jacqui take Abby to play with the children while I changed into shorts, a tank top and boots. I pocketed my knife and gun after I brushed my hair and teeth before walking into camp greeting everyone. I smiled as Rick came out of the tent, "Mornin' to you Officer"

He wrapped me in a hug, "Morning Nurse" He smiled before making his way to Lori.

"Here darling, thought you might like some" Dale handed over a cup of coffee.

"Oh god Dale I love you!" I wrapped him in a hug before taking a huge gulp, closing my eyes and savouring the taste. "Mmm" I sighed.

Dale chuckled before walking back to the red car that they were stripping apart.

I let out a giggle as I walked up to Glen, who was sulking, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder, "Such a shame" I shook my head. His bottom lip jutted out, "Tell me about it" He mumbled.

Just then Shane came driving up, shouting something about water before making his way over to me, "Here I thought this might be useful to you. Had a spare one lying around. Means you've a more secure place to put your gun and you can reach it better" he said handing over what looked like a gun holster to put round my thigh.

"Oh well thanks" I smiled, beginning to fasten it on.

"Here let me make sure it's on right" he said, his hands fumbling with it, my body tensing when he purposely brushed his fingers against my inner thigh. He stepped back, smiling.

I narrowed my eyes slightly, said a quick "thanks" and walked away, towards Dale.

I didn't get far before a scream cut through the air, followed by the cries of the children.

My heart dropped before I took off running, the rest soon following.

"Abby!" I screamed out seeing her little brown curls first before she launched herself at me. I hugged her closely, hearing Jacqui mumble something about a walker before the men ran on through more bushes.

"Abby you go with Jacqui back to camp while I go send the bad man away ok? I'll be back very soon"

I walked into a small clearing, just in time to see Dale cut the head off a walker.

"That's the first one we've had up here, they never come this far up the mountain"

"Runnin' outta food" I mumbled at the same time as Jim causing us to both look at each other in surprise.

There was ruffling of leaves, twigs cracking under the weight of feet, everyone tensed again. I walked forward with my gun ready, only to drop my arms in surprise while everyone else let out sighs of relief and one of annoyance from Shane.

"Daryl? Daryl bloody Dixon! Well bloody hell, never thought I'd see you again!"

He glanced up then, eyebrows rising in surprise, "Amber?"

"Wait, you two know each other?" Shane asked, annoyed and slightly disgusted by the sound of it.

Daryl ignored him, "Merle's gonna shit when he sees ya" He smirked

I felt a grin break out on my face and my eyes widen, "Merle?! Here's here? I didn't see the bastard! I've been wonderin' what happened you both"

Daryl snorted, "Probably doped up in the tent with whatever drugs he brought back from town"

I frowned, "He was in town?" I looked at Rick in confusion, seeing him and the others look down, avoiding eye contact like they were guilty.

I think it was only then Daryl realised his poor deer had been chewed on like a dogs chew toy.

"Son of a bitch, that's my deer! Look at it all gnawed on by this filthy" kick "disease bearing" kick "motherless" kick "poxy bastard"

"Calm down son, that's not helping" Dale sighed

Daryl got up in his face, "whatta you know 'bout it old man? Why don't ya take that stupid hat an' go back to on golden pond"

I bit my lip trying not to laugh but couldn't help the snort that came out causing everyone to look at me. I cleared my throat awkwardly.

I saw Daryl's mouth twitch while the rest looked at me weirdly; I could feel my face warming.

Daryl stalked over to the deer pulling out the arrows, complaining about wanting to cook up some venison. I sighed, my mouth watering, "Such a beautiful animal, tasty too. Such a shame. There's nothing better than cooking and eating the food you hunt"

Everyone looked at me again, in surprise.

I sighed, throwing my hands up. "What? I've grown up learnin' how to hunt. Just cause I'm a girl doesn't mean I can't bloody kill, gut and cook my own food does it?"

Just then the head of the walker started moving, Amy ran off looking like she was about to be sick.

I rolled my eyes at the thing, "Ew seriously?"

"Gotta be the brain" Daryl said before shooting an arrow in the walker's eye "Don't y'all know nothin'?"

I started walking back to camp, the rest following.

"Hey Merle, you lazy git, come and say hello!" I shouted

Daryl walked beside me then "Yeah Merle, git yer ass out 'ere. Got us some squirrel, stew 'em up"

"Hey uh Daryl, hold up a sec, I need to talk to you" Shane said as the group gathered round, Daryl and I in the middle.

"Bout what?" he grunted

"Merle..there was a problem in Atlanta"

Daryl froze, before walking back slightly, looking around at the group.

"He dead?"

Shane sighed, "Not sure"

"He either is or he ain't!"

Rick walked up then, "There's no easy way to say this so I'll just say it"

Daryl was getting defensive, looking Rick up and down, "Who are you?"

"Rick Grimes"

"Rick Grimes? You got somethin' you wanna tell me?" he growled.

I moved closer to Daryl, he glanced back before looking at Rick again. I didn't like where this was going.

"Your brother was a danger to us all. So I handcuffed him to a roof, hooked him to a piece of metal. He's still there"

I couldn't believe this. "Wait, Merle was there, with you lot?" I directed the question at the people who I helped get out of the city. They wouldn't look me in the eyes. I could feel myself getting angry. "I don't care about me but I stupidly risked Abby's life for you people, helped get you out safely and you left him there, like some fucking animal tied up?!" I could feel Daryl looking at me, the rest of the group jumped back surprised at my outburst.

"Amber-"

"No Glen! It's sick! You've left him there to die. To starve, to be fully exposed to the sun. Bad enough dyin' that way, never mind the walkers! Come on guys, couldn't you have handled it differently? I know Merle can be difficult but think about how he felt" I sighed.

Daryl turned his back to them, facing me while he wiped his eyes, "Let me process this.. you're sayin' you handcuffed my brother to a roof and you left him there?!"

"Yeah"

It all happened so fast, one minute Daryl was beside me, the next he was being held in a choke hold by Shane.

I ran forward, only to be grabbed round the waist by T-dog "Get off him!"

Everyone was looking from me, to Daryl, to the cops wondering what would happen next. Shane threw Daryl down and I hissed at T-dog to let me go. Once free I got to my knees beside Daryl, letting him lean against me.

T-dog spoke out then, "It's not Rick's fault. I had the key, I dropped it"

"Couldn't pick it up?" Daryl spat in a sarcastic tone

"I dropped it in a drain"

"Oh god" I sighed

Daryl got up, grabbing my hand and pulling me with him.

"Look I chained the door to the roof so the geeks couldn't get at him; with a padlock"

Daryl was trembling, wiping his eyes.

"To hell with y'all!"

"Tell us where he is so Daryl and I can go and get him" I said at Rick

"He'll show you, isn't that right?" Lori said, looking directly at Rick

Rick sighed, looking between the two of us, "I'm going back"

"Good, you owe me"

"Look Amber-" T-dog started

I sighed, "Not now" pulling Daryl over to my car, reaching in to get the item I wanted. Once I was done I let Daryl pull me by the hand towards his tent, ignoring the apologies of the group.

/

I should have done this sooner but thank you to everyone that has been reviewing. It's only right I mention you!

Leyshla Gisel  
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	6. Hit a nerve?

I sat on Daryl's sleeping bag, watching him grip his hair as he paced back and forth, kicking anything that got in his way.

I felt angry, _really_ angry. I understood that Merle could be difficult, but to handcuff him up and just leave him there..

I was angry for Daryl too. The only family he has left had been left behind, surrounded by walkers. Didn't the group take into consideration how _he_ might feel? They seemed to be treating the Dixon brother's like trash and I wasn't happy about that at all.

I sighed before thrusting the bottle in Daryl's hand as he passed, "Here, you could do with some of this"

He looked at me, before taking a seat and a large swig from the bottle, "Stupid bastards! Who do they think they are, leavin' him like that? I should go out there an' stomp their fuckin' asses"

"I'm sorry" I said

Daryl raised an eyebrow "For wha'?"

I frowned, "If I had known he was there I would have tried to get him somehow. I wouldn't have left him there"

Daryl stared hard at me for a moment before grunting.

"Ya didn't know. What d'ya care so much for anyway? Nobody gives a fuck 'bout 'im or me"

"I saw a side of him very few saw at all. He was a pain in my arse, I thought he was a disgustin' horn dog when I first met him, until I got to know him, 'til I got under that hard exterior. When we weren't arguin' over whose country was better, we were talkin 'bout things that really mattered. He talked about you a lot. He became my friend, Daryl. Nobody else might give a fuck about either of you but I do."

Daryl looked away, gripping the bottle before taking another huge gulp, "Ya don't know me so why the hell would ya care? Don't need ya to care for me anyway!"

I narrowed my eyes, "Merle became like family to me! He loves you so much, and I care what happens to you, not just because of how much you mean to him but because I _want_ to care, because you both deserve someone to care for you!"

I got up and made my way to the door of the tent, "Let me know when you're ready, sooner we go back for Merle, sooner we get back here"

/

A little while later, Daryl came out of his tent and started collecting his arrows, while I sat on the ground braiding Abby's hair. I could see the curious glances he'd throw in our direction, probably wondering who the little girl was.

Abby turned round in my arms, "Amber, why is that mista angry?" I smiled slightly, at the way she said mister.

"Because sweetie, that's Daryl, Merle's brother and Merle is lost right now so we're gonna go find him"

"Merle? Uncle Merle?"

Daryl froze, as did a few others, looking over in interest wondering how she knew a man like Merle, never mind why she was calling him uncle.

"Yeah baby, that's right"

Daryl slowly walked over then, confusion swirling in his eyes as he glanced between us, "How d'ya know Merle?" he asked Abby softly

"He told me lots and lots of funny stories and he got me this bunny rabbit bear" Abby smiled brightly, showing Daryl the pink teddy.

"I hope you find him mista daryl" Abby said before getting up and skipping over to Sophia.

Daryl was staring hard at the ground, looking deep in thought.

"Merle would sometimes come into the hospital to annoy me or take me for lunch on my break. Abby was in my care and he knew she meant more to me than any normal patient, especially after he heard her story so he used to go and talk to her, keep her company. He took to her straight away, same for her"

"I always wondered where he buggered off too. What happened?" he asked, looking at Abby.

I sighed, "Her parents and her were in a horrible crash. Her father died instantly, the mother held on for a while. When shit hit the fan, I took Abby from the hospital, she had no other family and I wasn't about to just leave her there and then we left the city. I love her as if she was my own."

"Then why the hell are ya doin' this? Risking yer life for my brother's when yer family's right here?"

"I know what I'm risking, know that something could go wrong, but Abby gives me a reason to come back. I'm doing this because he's your family. I don't know whether I'll ever see my folks again but I'm not gonna stand back and watch you lose yours. Merle is my friend, believe it or not. He'd deny it, I know he would, I know his opinion on women, but I think it was different with me once he knew I wouldn't put out and take his crap" I smirked

Daryl frowned hard, confusion swirling in his eyes, "He wouldn't do this for you or anyone"

"I know Merle's selfish and it seems that he only cares about booze, drugs and gettin' some, but he loves you, even if it doesn't seem like it and he'd do this for you and I believe he'd do anything for Abby too. Y'know, he's kinda alright when he isn't drugged up. A lot of people just didn't get to see that side of him"

Daryl turned, his back facing me, "Yeah well don't be expecting me to be saving yer stupid ass if something happens. I ain't there to save some damsel in distress. My brother's priority"

I snorted, "You won't have to. I think the fact I can handle myself against Merle is a sure sign I can handle anything."

Daryl threw me a look over his shoulder, his lips twitching as if struggling not to smile.

/

"Seriously, why? Why would you risk your life for a douche bag like Merle Dixon?" Shane was storming round camp after Rick trying to persuade him not to go.

"Hey! Choose yer words more carefully" Daryl snapped, arrow pointed in Shane's face.

"Oh no I did, douche bag's what I meant"

"We left him up there like a trapped animal, exposed and thirsty. That's no way for anything to die let alone a human being"

"So you, Daryl and Amber, that's your big plan?" Lori asked, her tone disdainful.

I glared at her, arms crossed, "Well you don't see anybody else volunteerin' do you? Unless you get up off your ass and help instead of acting like little miss Suzy homemaker"

She glared back, "I do my bit around here to bring some normalcy to camp. I haven't see you lift a finger to help!"

I raised an eyebrow at her, "No, you act like Queen Grimes and get everyone else to do your dirty work. And I only just got here last night, but I'm doing something now aren't I? I'm going to bring back a man that your husband left behind!" I snapped, smirking when she shut up.

Andrea and I made eye contact and I could see her smirking too behind her hand.

Rick sighed, turning around and directing a certain look at a less than impressed Glen.

"Oh well that's just great, now your gonna risk three men huh?" Shane's face was getting redder.

I coughed.

Shane rolled his eyes as he looked at me "And a woman"

"Four" The voice belonged to T-Dog has he stepped forward

"Huh my day just gets better and better" Daryl mumbled

"You're risking everyone here at camp! You saw it Rick, there was a walker, they're coming up from the city. We need every able body we got! And you're just gonna walk away from your little girl when you only just got here, you gonna risk her life too?"Shane grabbed my wrist as I walked past, pointing towards the RV where Abby was.

Daryl jumped to his feet as I yanked out of Shane's grip, "Don't you dare bring her into this! I'm not risking her life! I do everything I can to protect her but I wouldn't have needed to leave her if they didn't leave Merle! You might have been the leader of this group before I came here but there's no way in hell you're dictating what I'm doin.' I'm going back for my friend whether you like it or not _Officer_"

The vein in Shane's forehead was pulsing, his hands clenched in fists and his jaw working back and forth. I smirked, although my body was just as tense as his, as if ready to pounce, "Looks like I hit a nerve." Daryl stepped behind me, wrapping an arm around my waist and lifting me away. He had a strong grip on me as he put his lips to my ear, "Quiet, before he really does kill ya"

/

Dale put his hand on my shoulder, "You don't _have_ to do this you know"

I nodded, laughing slightly as Daryl narrowly missed kicking Glen in the face when he used his foot to slam the van horn "I know but I want to. Merle's all Daryl has, and Merle was a friend of mine. I know what Merle is like and it doesn't help much when he's high but from the time I've known him, Daryl's not like that, even Merle said so himself. Nobody bothered to take into consideration how Daryl felt; he shouldn't be going through this."

"You care about him" It wasn't a question.

Of course I did, because of that night at the bar I really got to know him plus the fact he was Merle's brother. The more time I spent around him, the more I wanted to get to know him. I think we had a sort of connection after finding out about Merle, we both cared for him and seemed to be the only ones who did.

I scoffed, "No idea what you're talking about grandpa" I lied

Dale smirked, a knowing look in his eyes but didn't say anything.

I sighed as I made my way to Abby knowing it was going to be hard to say goodbye.

"Do you have to go Amber?" She asked with sad brown eyes as I held her close

"I do, but I promise you I'll be back ok. I'm just going to find Merle and bring him back"

Abby turned around to face the van and the men who I was walking towards, her little arm placed on her hip while she shook her finger on the other arm at them, "You look after my Amber and find Uncle Merle, you hear me?"

T-Dog nodded, Daryl saluting her. Glen started laughing causing Abby to snap, "I mean it!"

His eyes widened as he held up his hands in mock surrender, "Ok!"

Abby turned her attention to Rick, "Officer?"

"We'll keep her safe Abby"

Rick jumped into the passenger seat while T-Dog climbed into the back, Daryl stepping aside to let me in first.

"I love you momma!" A tiny voice shouted before a small body wrapped themselves around my legs.

I froze for a second before my heart started thudding in my chest and my eyes began watering. She called me _momma_.

"Oh baby girl, I love you too" I squeezed her.

She unwrapped herself from my legs only to latch on to Daryl's, much to everyone's surprise. He gripped his crossbow, not knowing how to respond, "You be careful mista daryl"

I thought Daryl's eyes softened slightly, _very_ slightly, before he patted her awkwardly on the head and gently shook his leg as he frowned down at her, trying to get her off.

I giggled slightly, wiping the loose tears from my eyes, "Go over to Sophia and Carol baby. We'll be back soon"

She looked up at me with those brown button eyes, "Promise?"

We wrapped our pinky fingers together, "I promise"

The whole way to the city, in the back of the van I sat in front of Daryl, unaware that when he wasn't glaring at T-Dog, he was watching me.


	7. Merle or what's left of him

We crept into the city, Rick and Daryl taking the lead with T and Glen taking the rear, leaving me in the middle. All four men had formed a barrier around me as soon as we left the van, protecting me. I rolled my eyes, as much as I appreciated the thought, I didn't need them thinking I couldn't hold my own.

I gripped the baseball bat tighter in my hand as we quickly made our way towards the store, the street seemed to be empty of the dead.

"It's quiet, _too _quiet" I murmured, glancing behind us.

"Everyone keep their guard up though, quiet at all times. You saw how many there were yesterday, I doubt they've all left the city. We want in and out as quickly as possible. Stick together, ok?" Rick replied before we entered.

"Affirmative" I answered causing all four to turn their heads and raise eyebrows in my direction at my choice of word.

I raised an eyebrow back, "Thought we were supposed to be keepin' our guards up?" I smirked, nodding at the walker in the shop slowly making its way towards us.

Daryl snorted before creeping forward, crossbow aimed at what used to be a young woman, "Yer one ugly skank"

"Wow Daryl, really? Did you use that line to pick up the ladies?" I whispered, Glen standing beside me trying to stifle a laugh.

"Well it worked, didn't it? She practically fell for me" Came his sarcastic reply as he nodded down to the body at his feet.

I rolled my eyes, fighting the smile on my face and moved in the opposite direction of him, checking the bottom floor for any more unwanted guests.

"You know I hope for your sake Merle's alright. I'm pissed at what happened but I can't blame you for accidentally dropping the key. Just don't be surprised if Daryl tries to kill you" I said to T-Dog as I came to stand beside him and had to bite my lip to stop from laughing at the loud gulp that came from him.

"Thanks Amber, that makes me feel real better" He joked.

"No problemo" I winked, before we followed the rest through the rest of the store.

Rick led the way up the stairs, stopping at the door to cut the chains.

I could see Daryl practically bouncing on his feet in anticipation.

As soon as Rick was done, Daryl kicked open the door – which under different circumstances I probably would have thought was quite hot – shouting for his brother before we were even on the roof.

"Merle? Merle?!"

I don't think any of us were prepared for what we'd see.

In the spot where Merle had been cuffed, lay a blunt saw and Merle's hand; the cuffs still dangling from the pipe.

I felt sick at the thought of Merle sawing off his own hand.

"Nooo! Noooo!" My eyes snapped towards Daryl who was pacing in front of the spot, tears threatening to fall from his eyes.

In a matter of seconds Daryl had his crossbow aimed at T-Dog while Rick had his gun pressed to Daryl's temple.

"I won't hesitate, I don't care if every walker in the city hears it" Rick threatened.

Suddenly I was angry. Angry at the thought of what Merle must have felt, the terror and desperation that caused him to saw off his own hand to save himself from being eaten alive. Angry that Rick held a gun to Daryl, who had every right to be angry.

The only sound that could be heard in the silence was the cocking of my gun, "Neither will I" I hissed as I held it behind Rick's head.

The air seemed to get thicker around us until finally Daryl lowered his crossbow, Rick following soon after. I done the same, watching as Rick let out a sigh of relief. I smirked, "Not so nice bein' on the receivin' end is it, Officer?"

After T-Dog handed Daryl a rag, I watched as he fell to his knees and gently wrapped the hand, his jaw clenching as he tried to keep control of his emotions.

I couldn't help but laugh to myself at the look of disgust on Glen's face as Daryl put the hand in his bag. I patted his back in sympathy, "Come on China" I said as we followed Daryl into what looked like an office building.

We found two dead walkers, as in literally dead. Merle still managed to take them out one handed. In the kitchen was his belt, the gas cooker turned on and a piece of metal which he used to cauterize his wound. "Smart man." I voiced my praise.

"Merle's the toughest son o'bitch I know. Give 'im a hammer, he craps out nails"

I had to admire Daryl, his strength. He only had his brother left in this world yet despite the fact that Merle was god knows where now, he kept soldiering on.

Daryl and Rick were soon at each other's throats again about whether to continue looking for Merle while T-Dog voiced his opinion on the guns and Glen tried to get them to quieten down.

"Shut the fuck up both of you!" I snapped, causing both of them to look my way surprised.

"Thank you" Glen sighed.

"You're welcome. Now that I have your attention, listen up. We'll look around a few more blocks for Merle but we get the guns first. We could split up, go in a pair of two and three but nobody goes alone. We only use the guns as a last resort, then we go back to the van and make it back to camp for a lovely wee bowel of squirrel and rice and maybe if we're lucky, Carol would have added in some beans. Sound good?" I said sarcastically.

Glen groaned, "I hate beans"

/

"As a group we'd draw too much attention, if I'm alone I can move fast. The tank is five blocks from where we are now. Daryl and I will go to the alley way I first dragged you into, you and T-Dog will be two blocks away in the other direction. That way if I can't go back to Daryl, I'll go to you and have you lot covering my back from both directions. Amber you can go with whoever you want"

I nodded, "I'm going with you"

Glen shrugged, "Alright you can help Daryl in-"

I cut him off, "I mean I'm going with _you_, as in to get the guns. I can cover your back and front if any walkers get too close. You're going to be too busy trying to get those guns to attack anything if it was close enough to you."

"Are ya stupid or somethin'? Tryna get yerself killed?" Daryl fumed.

"Shut the fuck up Dixon, I can look after myself. I'm fast and quiet. If there's more than a couple of walkers it'll take you too long to load up your crossbow. At least if I'm there I can deal with some of the walkers you haven't got and it'll save T-Dog and Rick having to shoot. They shoot one bullet and we're practically callin' every dead motherfucker for dinner, Glen and I being the first dish they pick from the menu"

"She's right" Glen sighed "It would be easier having someone watch my back with me just in case anything gets too close for comfort. Amber has a knife and baseball bat, we'll be fine. Now are we ready or what? Like I said I, well now _we _will head for the alley Daryl is in, if not we'll go to Rick and T two blocks away. Whatever happens we meet back here."

Daryl stared at me a few seconds longer before turning to Glen, "Hey kid, what'd ya do before all this?"

Glen looked at him in confusion, surprised at the change of topic, "Delivered pizzas. Why?"

I laughed as Daryl and Rick looked at each other in understanding.

"All right, let's do this"


	8. Atlanta

**Hope everyone has been watching TWD! One of mine and Amber's fave characters is back! Rick won't be pleased haha **

**Special thanks to those that reviewed: **Steph, Mariana Lestrange, FanFicGirl10, Dalonega Noquisi, InkedCupcake92, XxXLIFEafterDEATHXxX, wildcat17, maddielala56, HP luver 4 ever, gaara's-baby-gurl17 and bashfyl for your private message!

/And action../

"You've got balls for a china man" Daryl said to Glen, loading up his crossbow.

"Hey! That's my nickname for him!"

Daryl scoffed, "I've known him longer so I've said it first"

I snorted, "Real mature"

Glen rolled his eyes at us, "I'm Korean actually" He said looking at Daryl, while taking off his over shirt.

"Yeah Daryl, he's Korean. Jeez get it right" I said sticking my tongue out at him

"Real mature" Daryl mimicked in a high pitched voice

I narrowed my eyes at him, "I don't sound like that!"

"Guys, come on!" Glen sighed, "You ready Amber?"

Letting out a deep breath I nodded, "Ready"

Glen went first, me following closely behind, baseball bat hell tightly in my hands.

We crouched down behind a car, waiting for a walker to shuffle passed before moving on to the next one.

"Psst" I nudged Glen, nodding to the car behind the one we were hiding behind, letting him know the walker sitting in it was alerted to our presence.

We ran around the corner quickly, diving behind the sandbags, more walkers soon catching on that there was fresh food only metres away from them.

I ran in front of Glen towards the bag of guns sitting in front of an army tank, smashing my bat into the head of a walker that was too close for comfort.

"Come on!" Glen whispered, turning to run back around the corner, bag of guns and Rick's sheriff hat in hand.

When we reached the alley way, Daryl was lying on the ground, two men on either side of him beating him and a teenager off to the side.

"What the fuck do you think you're doin?!"

Both men looked up, one noticing Glen with the bag, "Grab the guns!"

Before I could swing my bat, the fatter one charged at Glen and I knocking us to the ground, the bat falling out of my hands. I could feel myself being kicked repeatedly in the ribs while the other one was hitting glen with the metal bat they were holding. I grabbed the man's leg trying to stop him for kicking me again and kicked my leg up, hitting him in the groin. I managed to get up and throw myself at him causing the both of us to tumble out and land in the street. The heavy man landed on top of me and began throwing punches while I tried to do the same. I could hear the growls of the walkers coming closer, the frantic shuffling of their feet as they rushed towards the feast in front of them. I threw my head forward, smashing my forehead into his nose, causing him to get up and throw his hand up to his nose. I jumped up as quickly as I could, turning my head to see walkers only a few feet away.

"You bitch!" He yelled, back handing me so hard, my body staggered back from the blow and I ended up falling into a walker, knocking both of us to the ground.

I was surrounded by the overwhelming stench of, what could only be described as death, I could feel the old blood from the walker's mouth drip down my neck as well as my own blood dripping down my face and the sound of her teeth clicking together as she tried to take a chunk out of my neck.

Her fingers were clawing at my top, the grip of my hands tight as I struggled to keep her away. I had my gun strapped to my leg and was reluctant to use it, the sound of a gunshot would alert walkers from miles away. I glanced around looking for something to use and saw my knife I had forgotten about, lying just over an arm's length away. I could probably reach it but I had to be quick, I was struggling enough as it was using two hands, trying to keep this bitch from tearing a chunk out of my neck. With as much strength as I could I pushed upwards with my arms, moving her away from my neck and slid my leg up, pushing my knee into her chest. Using my right arm I reached out towards the knife, just skimming it with my fingertips.

My left arm was shaking under the pressure of her body weight and I managed to stretch out a little further, grabbing the knife and sticking it through her skull just as my arm gave way.

It felt like forever that I had been lying there when in reality it was only a few seconds. I threw her off me, yanking the knife out and diving through a shop door beside me, locking it as soon as I made it inside.

Walkers were pressed up against the glass, using their fists to bang against the door. Some walkers beside them were crowding round the alley way beside the shop, and although I couldn't see Daryl or Glen, I assumed they had managed to close the gate.

Looking round the shop I rolled my eyes wishing I could have picked a better place, "A jewellery store. Really?"

I checked around the shop, noticing it was empty of walkers and almost of jewellery. Honestly, I had to laugh at the stupidity of people. It was the end of the world where the dead were eating the living and people were stealing something that wasn't worth anything anymore. "What are they gonna do, stab a walker with an earring?" I scoffed.

I took a look around when something in one of the glass cases caught my eye. I smirked to myself before using my gun to smash the glass and take what was inside, tucking it safely into my shorts pocket.

I noticed a door behind the counter that said '_staff only_' and slowly opened it to find a hallway that lead to a store, staffroom and toilet.

I checked the toilet first, catching a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror.

I grimaced, I not only had blood dripping down my neck, but had a lovely bust lip and cuts on my face. Lifting up my top I could see red marks on my ribs from the kicking, cursing the fat asshole under my breath – no doubt I'd bruise there too. I ran my eyes across my stomach, my fingers trailing across the white scars.

I pulled my top down and shook my head, now was not the time.

Checking the staff room I noticed it was empty too and quickly made work of the cupboards grabbing all the tinned food and whatever else was useful and stuffed them in a gym bag someone had left behind. There were a few jackets left as well so I threw those in to the bag, shrugging on the woman's leather jacket – it's not like she's ever going to need it again.

The last place to check was the storage room, which would hopefully have a fire exit. It was dark inside due to there being no windows so I kept the door open, letting some light in. I made my way down the aisles, mumbling a 'thank god' when I noticed a fire exit further ahead.

I took a deep breath and pushed down on the handle, pushing open the door as slowly as I could, peeking my head round for any walkers. I let out a sigh of relief when I realised that it lead me to the alley way Daryl, Glen and I were at, the gate closed and only a few walkers pushing against it.

I noticed my baseball bat sitting where I had dropped it and ran over to it picking it up. The walkers pushed harder against the fence trying to reach in to me, not realising they were supposed to pull rather than push.

Hooking the bat throw the hoops in my shorts, I started climbing the ladder, hoping like hell the boys were in the room we said we'd meet at and that they weren't somewhere else otherwise I'd be screwed.

/

Reaching the room I noticed it was empty, none of the boys anywhere to be seen.

"Fuck!" I mumbled, running a hand through my hair.

I had either two options, stay here as long as I could or try and find where they went.

Staying here seemed more sensible, there was still a good chance they would come back.

I scrunched my face up in disgust when I noticed a hand sitting on a table, realising right away that it was Merles. That meant they had been here. On closer inspection I could see writing on it, two simple words, '_stay here_'.

Even though a bit grossed out at the fact they couldn't have found something else to write it on, I realised then that it probably was a good idea. At least then I'd know it was them that left the note and would pay attention to it rather than see a note on a bit of paper and assume it was an old one or by someone else.

I was about to find a cloth to clean myself up with when I heard footsteps coming towards the door. There were several, but they seemed to be too fast to be walkers. That either meant my group or other survivors. Not wanting to take any chances I raised my gun at the door, taking the safety off as the door opened.

The person stopped short, looking down the barrel of my gun.

"What have I done this time? That's the second time you've pointed that thing at me" Rick joked.

I smirked, "Nice to see you boys came back. Now someone tell me what the hell happened."


	9. Close call

**Omg, have you been watching TWD. That episode with Merle and Daryl.. holy crap. I died inside :(**

**Thanks for reviewing/following!**

Daryl stormed past Rick before he could say anything and grabbed my face in his hands, "Y'alright? Bitten, scratched?" He asked eyes narrowing in on the dried blood on my neck.

I hesitated for a second as he took out his red rag and started gently rubbing at my neck and face.

"No, I'm ok. It was a close call, that's all"

"Bastard done a real number on ya" He pointed out, rubbing his thumb gently over my throbbing lip.

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion at Daryl's actions, taking the rag off him to wipe my hands, "Yeah well, nothin' I can't handle" I replied looking up at him.

He looked down at me with this look in his eyes, as if he was trying to find a double meaning behind my words.

A cough from behind him broke our eye contact, Daryl straightening up and stepping back from me quickly, a hand rubbing the back of his neck.

I was about to hand over his rag when he shook his head, "Nah, ya keep it" he mumbled before walking over to the other side of the room to lean against the wall while biting at his thumb.

It was then I noticed Glen missing and a young boy sitting on the floor beside T-Dog.

I raised an eyebrow at Rick, "Glen looks different"

He almost smiled, "We have a problem"

/

"So basically, you're telling me Glen got kidnapped by a group of Mexican's who are after the guns and we either hand them over to get him back or be ready to fight?"

Rick nodded, "Pretty much"

I sighed, "Look, I agree with Daryl. Guns are worth so much more than gold now, you really think risking our lives like this is worth it? I have a daughter to get back to, you have a son! We need to think of something else."

"What life I have I owe it to him. I was nobody to Glen, just some idiot stuck in a tank. He could have walked away, but he didn't. Neither will I. You can go back to camp if you want, all of you should"

I sighed, "I'm not walkin' away from you Rick, I'll stick by your decision."

Rick stared at me and nodded his head in gratitude.

"So you're just gonna hand over the guns?" Daryl scoffed

"It isn't gonna be that simple Rick, you honestly think as soon as we hand over _our _guns they're just gonna give us Glen and let us walk away?" I questioned.

"I didn't say that" Rick shook his head.

I raised my eyebrows at him in surprise before looking at T-Dog and Daryl to see them looking back at me, a mutual decision passing between us.

I sighed, "Fine. But if I die Rick, you're the first one I'm coming after."

Rick laughed, "Nobody's gonna be dying, especially not you."

"Too right, I'm the only one in this group with medical knowledge. You'd be screwed without me."

/

Our group stood in a line, facing the larger group of armed men. I tightened my grip on the large gun I held. I had no idea what it was, but it looked menacing enough. I'm just not sure how scary it looked with a female with a few tattoos holding it.

"I see my guns, but they're not all in the bag" 'G' said.

"That's because they're not yours. I thought I mentioned that" Rick said back, leaving no room for argument. He released the young boy and pushed him back to the group, demanding they hand Glen over.

"I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation. I could cut your boy up into little pieces and feed him to my dogs. They're the nastiest sons' a bitches you ever saw, picked 'em up from Satan in a yard sale." He smirked. "And then I'll kill all you, but keep this pretty lady for something else. I'm sure she can be quite useful" He said, some of his men laughing as they looked me up and down.

I tensed, narrowing my eyes at him while T-dog and Daryl stepped closer to me.

Rick's jaw tightened as he clenched his teeth, "You said come locked and loaded.." He cocked his gun, all of us following in his lead, Rick and I aiming at G's head, "and you never threaten my family like that. You want the girl, you gotta get between me first"

I could feel sweat dripping down my neck as the silence seemed to stretch on forever, each group having weapons pointed at the other.

"Philippe!" The tense moment was broken slightly when an elderly lady appeared between the crowd of men.

A bald man who I recognised as the one that beat me up turned to her, "Abuela, go back to the others now!"

It was hard to make out what the lady was saying but I could make out something about a man not being able to breathe and needing his medicine.

I hesitated for a second before sighing, "I'm a nurse, I could help."

Everyone turned to look at me, Daryl turning me to face him, "Are ya stupid? Goin' in there and helpin' these assholes after what that beaner just said about ya and what that fat bastard did? He's lucky I don't put another arrow in his ass" Daryl snapped, directing the last sentence to the man.

"Daryl, I'm a nurse. It's my duty to help. When I took on this career it's because I wanted to care for people, doesn't matter who they are, what they've done, none of that matters to me. What kind of nurse would I be if I didn't help? Doesn't matter whether the world has ended or not!"

"Let her through. Let them all through" G said.

Without waiting on the others, I ran on ahead with Philippe who lead me to another building which turned out to be a nursing home for the elderly.

I was led into a room, stumbling slightly when I saw Glen, no worse for wear. In a seat was an elderly man struggling to breathe which I soon found out was an asthma problem.

"Just take deep breaths and when I press your inhaler I want you to hold it in for a few seconds" I tended to him and managed to get his breathing under control when the others came in.

"We thought you were getting eaten by dogs man!" T-Dog shouted.

Rick turned around and stormed over to G. "You're the dumbest son of a bitch I've ever met. We walked in there ready to kill every last one of you! That blood would have been on my hands."

"Mine too. We'd have fought back to protect what little food and medicine is left. Wouldn't be the first time. The staff just left these old people here to die, me and Philippe were the only ones who stayed. These people look to me now, and I don't even know why"

"Because they can" Rick simply stated before handing over some guns and ammo.

G and Philippe came up to me then and Philippe stuck his hand out, "I am truly sorry for what I done to you. I would never dream of doing that normally but when you're fighting for something that could save your life.. I'm sorry, I lost control." He seemed genuinely sorry and I could see where he was coming from, I shook his hand accepting his apology.

G stuck his hand out then "Thankyou, for helping us. We threatened you, I said some horrible things that I didn't mean but I had to at least appear like I meant it. I didn't know what your group was like. Yet you didn't care about any of that and helped save a life. I'm very sorry"

I took his hand, "I understand, it's alright. You're doing an amazing job here. I'm not the one saving lives, you are. I wish I could give you medication but I have none with me. The hospital isn't far from here but with the amount of walkers about, I don't know that I'd chance it. Place is probably swarmed by now"

G nodded, "We'll get by, like we always do. Take care"

/

"Admit it, you only came back to Atlanta for the hat" Glen joked as I walked on ahead slightly.

Rick laughed, "Don't tell anybody!"

"You gave away half our guns and ammo to folk who are gonna die momentarily anyhow. How long dya think they got?" Daryl said

"How long do any of us?"

"Oh shit." I stopped

"What is it?" Glen asked, I didn't respond verbally, instead pointed in the direction of where we left the van.

Daryl, "Where's our van?"

"We left it right there, who would take it?" Glen questioned, disbelief across his face.

Rick's face hardened, "Merle."

"And he's gonna be taking some vengeance back to camp"

/

It was dark by the time we almost reached camp, tired from jogging the whole way. I sped up when I realised I'd soon see Abby, "Come on slow pokes!" I laughed only to stop short.

I whirled around to face the guys, "Did you _hear_ that?"

More screams and a shot rang through the air, my face paled when I realised the camp was in trouble.

We sprinted forward following the sounds, rushing through the bushes only to find the camp surrounded by walkers.

"Abby! Where are you?!" I shouted, shooting any walkers in my way.

I glanced around to see Lori pulling Carl away, leaving a terrified Abby by herself, a walker stumbling up behind her.

I growled knowing I'd be dealing with Lori later.

"Abby! Go to Carol!" I screamed at her as I tried shooting the walker only to find the gun empty.

I ran forward, knife in hand before ramming into the walker, causing both of us to go tumbling to the dirt near the edge of camp. I tried getting my knife out but it was firmly stuck in the walker's skull. The screaming and shooting was starting to lessen around me as I worked on getting my knife back, not paying attention to the crawler coming up behind me before I felt it grab my ankle, it's grip hard as steel.

I screamed out in shock, twisting around on to my back and trying to kick its face away from my ankle, its teeth smashing so hard against each other, I was surprised they didn't break.

Over the shouting I thought I heard someone yell my name but couldn't have been too sure. I gave up on the knife, cursing when I noticed my baseball bat must have dropped somewhere and tried grabbing for a large rock. I shoved my boot into the walkers face, its teeth gnawing at the rubber heel as I continually smashed its face in.

A twig snapping to my left caused me to look over just in time to see another walker stumble out from behind a tree, practically falling on the fresh food lying trapped on the floor.

"Amber?!" I heard over the snapping of teeth and growling as I struggled with the walker on top of me, its weight crushing me and making it hard to breathe.

"DARYL?! Help me!" I cried, tears blurring my vision.

I was a goner, I knew it. I narrowly escaped being chomped on earlier in Atlanta and just there now with the crawler; there was no way I'd avoid it now with this walker.

All of a sudden the walker stopped and the weight was thrown off me, warm, callused hands shaking me, "Amber? Shh calm down. Open yer eyes!"

I opened them as Daryl ran his hands over me, feeling for bites. "Look yer fine, no bites. Yer ok, you gotta take deep breathes!" He tried calming me down.

I could feel myself shaking and gasped for air, realising I was starting to have a panic attack. He pulled me into his arms, my hands gripping onto his shirt, burying my face into his neck and breathing deeply.

_Smoke, woods and a slight musk. _A scent that was completely Daryl.

I calmed down after a few minutes and Daryl pulled back to wipe the tears from my eyes.

"I thought I was gonna die" I mumbled

He sighed, "I know, so did I for a sec. But yer tough as nails right? It'll take more than one dick head like that to kill ya. Now come on, ya got a little girl to see"

I jumped up at that, running towards to the RV to see Abby with Carol and Dale.

"Momma!" She ran towards me, and I fell to my knees, hugging her tightly to me.

"It was so scary, I thought you got hurt and left me"

"No, no. I'll never leave you. Never. I'm so sorry baby girl, but we're ok now. The bad men are all away"

"Will they come back?" She asked, big brown eyes looking into mine, her tiny lips trembling.

"No sweetie, they won't. I love you so much" I mumbled into her hair

"I love you too momma"

_Lori._

Tensing I stood up, "Carol, could you take Abby inside please?"

Carol came over, nodding, although I think she knew exactly what I wanted to do, "Of course"

When Abby was away, I turned storming over to Lori which confused her slightly before pulling my arm back and throwing my fist straight into her nose, causing her to stumble back and screech out.

Everyone, even her husband and bit on the side, stood in shock, not moving. Without giving her a chance, I grabbed her by the shirt, "You ever leave my little girl defenceless like that again, I'll shoot you in the knees and leave you for the walkers. Don't think I'm lying." I hissed before shoving her away.

A hand clasped down on my shoulder, "Enough fighting! Amy needs you!"

I turned to see Dale, "What are you talking about?"

Dale nodded to something behind him and we all looked over in shock to see a sobbing Andrea kneeling over a bloody Amy, blood pouring from wounds on her arm and neck.

I ran over, ripping a shirt off the washing line Carol must have put out earlier, before dropping to my knees and pushing it against the wound in Amy's neck to try and stop the bleeding.

"Do something, please do something!" Andrea sobbed.

I looked over Amy's body as my eyes filled with tears again, knowing it was too late. Not just because she was losing way too much blood but because she'd been bitten and the infection was already spreading.

I shook my head "I'm sorry Andrea", falling back against the RV defeated, watching as Amy took her last breath.

"I remember my dream now, why I dug the holes." Jim didn't need to elaborate.

Just looking round the camp, we all knew.


	10. Burial

The next morning Andrea still hadn't moved from her place beside Amy. The camp was silent apart from a few of the men beginning to clear up.

After changing Abby and I into clean clothes, we sat with Sophia and Carol in the RV.

"Doesn't matter where we go, we'll never be safe will we?" Carol whispered, as she watched me braid Sophia's hair whose attention was focused on the colouring book she was doing with Abby.

I finished off the braid before turning to Carol, "We can't think like that. Somewhere there's bound to be a place we can settle down, make a life for ourselves. Yes we'll always have the threat of walkers but wasn't life dangerous even before all of this? Every day wasn't guaranteed; we could have been hit by car, died of natural causes, been murdered by some psycho path. The only difference now is, we _know_ for sure that there's a threat out there and we're being more careful."

Carol frowned, "But what about shelter, clothes, food, and medicine? What happens when food goes out of date or runs low, what if someone hurts themselves and needs medical attention?"

I sighed, before grabbing Carol's hands in mine, "What about them? We go on as we normally do. There are plenty of abandoned buildings about, and even if there aren't, we can clear them. Clothes can be repaired, we can use fur and hair from animals to line our clothes and we can raid shops for supplies. A lot of tinned and boxed food is fine for years and anyway we can just make our own. How do you think people ate for thousands of years? They ate and used what nature provides. Fruit grows on trees, we can grow our own vegetables, make our own bread, boil water from lakes and we can hunt for meat. As for medical attention, I took medication from the hospital, I'm a nurse and I'm sure Dale knows how to make medication out of plants or something; you know as well as I do that man seems to know everything. It's just like being in the years of no technology. If our ancestors can do it, so can we." I smiled, squeezing her hands.

Carol laughed, "You're so young, yet so mature. Shouldn't it be someone older comforting the younger ones?"

I smirked, "I think it's just as important for the young generation to look after you elderly."

Carol playfully shoved me, "Shut up cheeky!"

I stood up then stretching, "I'm going to go outside and start helping. Do you mind.." nodding over at Abby.

Carol shook her head, "Not at all, I'll stay in here for a little while longer before Morales' wife comes in with her children. You know, I'm really glad Abby is here for Sophia to play with. We love having you two here."

I smiled, "Just like we love you both. Call me if you need anything"

/

"The girls a tickin' time bomb! Just take the shot, clean in the brain. Hell I could hit a turkey in between the eyes from this distance" Daryl complained, pointing over to Amy's dead body, being guarded by Andrea.

Rick sighed, "I tried, but you saw her pull a gun on me. What the hell else am I supposed to do?"

"For Christ sake just let her be" Lori said, sitting down on a log.

I leant against the pick axe I was using, "Look we all know what needs to be done. We're destroying the brains of our fallen so they don't come back, Amy is no exception. But we let Andrea deal with it, it's her family. None of us have the right to touch her. But if Amy comes back and attacks Andrea, that's on her. _Then_ we can step in." I picked up the axe before walking away to continue with the task.

The last walker I had to deal with to make sure they were fully incapable of coming back was the one that attacked me last night. It had once been a man in around his forties, dressed in a now destroyed suit, huge gashes in his chest and arms. What looked like a bit of paper peeking out from the pocket inside his suit jacket caught my attention and I lifted it out, discovering it was a photo. The man stood smiling brightly, beside a beautiful blonde woman, twin girls about the age of ten sitting in front of them.

I let out a huge breath, tucking the photo back in his pocket before standing up and swinging the axe over my shoulder, looking down at the body and in my mind seeing the smiling face from the photo. I shook my head, "It's not him anymore. He's dead. They all are."

I swung the axe down hard repeatedly into the centre of his head, smirking with slight satisfaction as I imagined it was Lori.

/

"A walker got him, a walker got Jim!"

"Show it to us!"

"Somebody grab him"

Shouting caught my attention and I ran to the group seeing most of them crowding Jim.

I stopped beside Daryl, "What's going on?"

He looked over then, "Jim got bit, didn't tell nobody"

"Shit" I quickly went to my car pulling out some supplies before making my way to Jim, "Why don't you go sit outside the RV and let me take a look, see if I can clean you up a bit?" I smiled

When Jim walked away Shane turned to me, "Why the hell you even bothering, wasting supplies like that on a man that's dying anyway?"

I looked at him in disgust, "Is there any human in you at all? What kind of sick bastard are you? What kind of nurse would I be if I took on that attitude towards every patient of mine that was dying? It's not even about saving lives, it's about making people as comfortable as possible during their last moments. Same applies for Jim. Although if it were you, I wouldn't bother. I'd just go straight for the pick axe" I smirked, not meaning it but wanting to piss him off.

He stepped forward then, clenching his jaw, "What the hell did you-"

"Enough Shane!" Rick stepped in between us, "Jim's still human and deserves to be treated as one. Go to him Amber"

Without another word I went over to Jim, gently lifting his tshirt to see the wound.

"I heard what you said. You don't have to do this you know. Shane's right, about it being wasted on me."

I scoffed, "Shane's an asshole and a creep. He's pissed off at Rick for coming back and 'stealing' Lori and he's pissed off at me because I don't take his crap. Guy's a nut job and doesn't know what he's talking about. I'm the nurse here and if I want to take care of you, I will. He isn't gonna stop me"

Making sure to put two pairs of gloves on in case one ripped, I got to work gently cleaning the wound. No matter how many times I wiped it, it seemed to never stop bleeding but I didn't want to stitch it because it seemed to be full of pus. Instead I just covered it with some bandage.

"That's really all I can do Jim. I'll put a clean bandage on in a few hours. Now I have some pain medication in the-"

"No" He interrupted, "You've done enough, and I'm fine for now. Honestly, thank you"

After sorting out Jim and putting away the rest of the supplies I headed towards the group.

"I heard the CDC was working on a cure"

"Heard that too, heard a lot of things"

"If there's any government left they'd protect the CDC at all costs. It's our best shot. Shelter, protection.."

"I want those things too, now if they exist they're at the army base, Fort Benning where they are heavily armed."

"Shane, the military were on the front line and got over run, everybody could see that! The CDC is Jim's best chance"

Daryl interrupted "You go do what you gotta do. Somebody gotta have the balls to do what needs to be done." He said before charging at Jim with a pick axe.

"Hey hey!" Rick yelled, cocking a gun at Daryl's head, "We don't kill the living"

"That's funny, comin' from the man who just put a gun to my head"

"Enough! All of you!" I shouted "Rick and Shane, stop arguing over who has more information, whose place is better or whose dick is bigger. Rick is right, the military have been over run, if there's any left they'll be at the CDC. If Jim has any chance at all it would be there, problem is I don't think he could even hang on that long. As for you Daryl, ya wanna smash the pick axe in someone's head, do it to one of the bodies lying about, there's plenty for you to choose from. You all need to calm the hell down. Here's a reality check, Jim is _dying_. The infection is already spreading and there's nothing we can do. Least all of you can do is treat the man with some respect."

Shaking my head I walked away, meeting Carol half way who pulled me into a hug.

"I can't believe poor Jim. It's scary just how easily it could happen to anyone of us." She said

"I know, but we'll protect each other. I'll not let anything happen to you or Sophia. We haven't known each other long, but you and that little girl are like family to me. You remind me of my mum and Sophia is like the little sister I've always wanted"

Carol laughed, "Under that fierce Irish exterior, you're a real softie. You're like the older sister Sophia wishes she had and you remind me of myself around your age. I wasn't always so quiet and, well, scared but after marrying Ed, I just-"

"No, you don't have to explain. I understand, really, probably more than you think. But he's not here anymore; you don't have to be afraid. Neither does Sophia. I'm pretty sure that fierce, strong woman is still in there somewhere, she just needs time to come out"

"Hmm maybe. I'm not ashamed to admit it, but despite being married to him all these years, I'm not even sad he's gone. That job you and Daryl are doing, with the pick axes? I'll do it when it's Ed's turn"

I hesitated for a second, but after looking at Carol's face, I could see she needed this, "Come on then"

/

Daryl and I stood watching Carol repeatedly smash the axe into Ed's face, crying as she did so.

"Jesus.." Daryl mumbled.

"She needs this Daryl. The bastard got what he deserved and with her doin' this, it finally gives her some control over him. You know as well as I do exactly what that man done to her and probably to Sophia too at times. But she was lucky in a way, at least she knew herself. Some women.. men twist their minds so much, they're just blinded by love and can't see that the way they're being treated is wrong. And then in many cases it's too late." I said, looking in the direction of Carol but my mind was elsewhere.

"Yer stomach sore?"

I looked at him in confusion, "What?" I asked, before looking down at where my hand was absentmindedly rubbing the scars through my top. I dropped my hand immediately, face burning red, "Oh no. No it's fine"

Soon after I was sitting around the unlit fire with Carol and Dale, reloading my guns and cleaning my knife, when I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye. Looking up I saw Amy reaching for Andrea, fully turned.

I stood as Carol nudged Dale, stepping forward in case Andrea needed assistance.

Daryl stood beside me and we watched as Andrea told her sister she loved her before ending her life, once more holding her closely.

After the loud gunshot, the whole camp fell in silence, each one grieving for their lost friend.

Once Rick and Shane had finished the graves we all walked up, ready to bury the dead.

"I'm scared moma" she whimpered

"I know sweetie, but you know I'll look after you. What was it Uncle Merle told you one day about me?"

"That momma is my super woman and will keep me safe and that you got lots of super powers"

"Yeah, I'll keep ya safe. Always. You've nothin' to be scared of. I promise"

I stood off to the side of the group, although I was part of the group now, they had been together before this all started and were closer to Amy than myself. Watching Andrea struggle to put Amy in hers by herself was heartbreaking. My eyes filled with unshed tears as I thought about Doc and Martha, who basically took me under their wing, Merle for being the annoying big brother and my family back home; wondering if my dad and two older brothers were looking after my mom ok and if they were all fine. I knew I didn't really have to worry about them, but mom was different. She wasn't into hunting or the outdoors kind of life; she was a quiet, fragile woman.

I held Abby closer to me, turning my face into her hair. My main focus is keeping her safe now.

Very discreetly Daryl moved closer to me and grasped my hand. I knew he was just trying to show me some comfort. I squeezed his hand, not just to show him thanks but to also show him some comfort too.

Looking around the group, I realised that we had become one big family and that we'd get by just fine.


	11. Hope?

**Responses to reviews**

**momoxvolturi**- She's feisty and not afraid to speak her mind but she has a soft side too..when she wants it to come out lol I imagined I was Amber for a moment when she punched Lori. So would love to do that! Haha  
**FanFicGirl10- **She grew up with 2 older brothers who, like any big brothers, annoyed the heck out of her. She learnt to stand up for herself. I kind of made Shane a bit of a creep didn't I? haha  
**MAR76**- She sees her mum in Carol a bit and Carol's story reminds her of a friend – we'll get to that later. She also wanted a younger sister and looks at Sophia that way. To be honest, I never really liked Carol much but I'm starting to now!  
**Goldenfightergirl**- I'm actually planning a boondock saints story.. out of curiosity, if you were to read it, would you want it in first person or 3rd person? And as for Amber's family, I'd like that to happen but that would mean her trying to get to Ireland.. I'd need to see what way Season 4 goes!  
**Clovergirl, DementorsKiss95, Mrs Sorbo, electrogirl88**- Thankyou all, I'll get more up soon!

Thanks to everyone who is following and favouriting as well. Means a lot!

/

Everyone was packing up their belongings getting ready to leave and head towards our only hope – the CDC.

I headed over towards Dale who was standing with a few of the others.

"Hey Dale?"

He turned to me, smiling, "Yes sweet heart?"

"Do you mind if I ride in the RV? I want to keep an eye on Jim."

"What about your car?" Rick asked.

"I'm leavin' it here. That things guzzles way too much gas, it'll be too hard to keep. I have some spare gas in cans that I can give to someone else though"

"I don't see a problem in that, might be a little cramped though but you're more than welcome to join us" Dale replied.

I smiled gratefully at him before going to my car and beginning to take what little items I had out of it. I took the gas out, leaving it near the RV and going back to get the rest of my stuff. One of the medical bags was already in Dale's RV so I really only had the other one, a bag with a few clothes, blankets and the bag of alcohol Doc left me. I had completely forgotten about it and smiled sadly as I thought about him.

"Ya think that's such a good idea bein' in a confined space with that time bomb?" A southern drawl sounded behind me.

I put the bags over my shoulder before closing the door and turning to see Daryl staring at me through squinted eyes, biting at his thumb.

"I'm gonna make sure he's as comfortable as possible Daryl. The man might be on his way to bein' a walker but he's still Jim and he's gonna be treated as such."

"Fine but you don't hesitate to stick a bullet in his brain if he turns or else yer gonna get yerself killed."

"Oh I didn't know you cared about little old me" I smirked.

He scowled, "Never said I did"

I rolled my eyes, "I know, I'm joking"

I began walking towards the RV when his voice stopped me, "Ya can put yer stuff in the back of my truck"

I raised an eyebrow at him, "What?"

"Well ya know, gonna be cramped an' all in there, you can put yer stuff with the bike on my truck to save room"

"Um sure, thanks" Before walking over to his truck and sliding my bags into the back beside Merle's bike.

As the group gathered round, Shane talking about what channel the CBs would be on and Morale's dropping the bomb shell that his family were going somewhere else, I rummaged around Dales RV for a spare map.

After writing a note on it, I went back to my car, winding down the window a bit to put the map between it before winding it back up, the paper trapped so that it wouldn't fly away.

"Why're ya doin' that for him?"

"Rick's doin' the same thing for his friend. If Merle comes back here I want him to know where we are so he can join us again"

Daryl snorted, "I'm sure the group are really gonna appreciate that"

"I don't care what they think. Merle's my friend and this isn't the kinda world someone should be alone in, no matter who they are or what they've done"

"Everybody else wouldn't do this for him"

"Well good thing I'm not like everybody else then isn't it?"

I reread over the note before getting into the RV, looking back at it as we drove away and into the unknown.

_Merle,_

_Abby and I found the group a few days ago. Needless to say I was pissed when I found out what happened to you. Your brother and I went back for you but you being the dumbass that you are, decided to leave instead of staying put. If you're reading this, then you've survived and you're the strongest S.O.B Daryl and I said you were._

_Walkers got here, killed Amy and Ed among others. We're going to the CDC and hoping for the best really. You'll find it on the map._

_I have a bottle of southern comfort and tequila with your name on it._

_Your leprechaun, Amber._

_P.S, Irish are better._

/

"Damn thing!" I heard being yelled from the front before the RV came to a complete stop.

I got up from beside Jim and went out into the main area, seeing Jacqui help Abby colour at the table, before looking over as Dale stepped out.

"What's wrong Glen?"

He shrugged, "Something about the hose again"

I stepped back into the room with Jim knowing I'd be of no assistance as I knew nothing about cars.

I put the damp cloth on his forehead, as he turned to me, lucid for the time being.

"I can't" He stopped, catching his breath, "go on. Leave me"

I frowned, "We've not long left Jim, we can get you help."

We both knew that was a lie, Jim was getting worse by the minute, coughing up more blood each time and hallucinating frequently.

He moved slightly and his eyes rolled back in pain.

"Jacqui!"

She came running in then, concern etched on her face. One look at Jim and she realised there was no more hope for him.

"Get Rick"

She nodded before running out.

"Tha- thankyou, for help" he moaned out in pain, "helping me"

"Shh Jim, don't strain yourself. It's ok, you've been so brave" I squeezed his hands before getting up and leaving as Rick came in.

/

"Back at the quarry when I agreed with Daryl and you shot me down, I would never agree to callously killing a man, I just meant that we should find out what Jim wants and now I think we have our answer" Dale said, as we all gathered round.

"We just leave him here? Take off? Man, I'm not sure if I could live with that" Shane replied.

Lori interrupted, "It's not your call, either one of you."

For once, I agreed with them.

"I know Shane, but you haven't seen him. This journey will kill him before the virus does. Lori is right. It's his last wishes that he be left here and join his family, I think we should respect that."

After Jim was propped up against the tree we began to say our goodbyes. I let Abby go with Carol and Sophia, and waited until only Daryl and I were left to say goodbye.

I knelt down beside Jim, dabbing him with a cool cloth one last time. "Hey Jim, take these"

He looked down at the pills in my hand about to reject.

"I know you said you didn't want any, but please, for me? It'll help with the pain"

He nodded once, allowing me to pop the pills in his mouth and pour in some water.

"Thanks for everything. You're a great nurse" he whispered.

I smiled, squeezing his hand, "Glad my patient thinks so" I joked, "And thank you for being so brave. See ya Jim" I kissed him on the cheek, following the others as Daryl followed closely behind.

"They weren't just regular pain killers were they?" Daryl asked

I shook my head, "There's such a strong dose in one, the couple I gave him will knock him out pretty soon. He was in so much pain, just stubborn to admit it. I couldn't let him go through that, god knows how long he'd have been like that."

Daryl nodded, "Nice of ya. I'm sure he'd appreciate ya doin' that for him"

I half smiled, "I hope so"

We got back into our vehicles, and I sat with Jacqui hugging her close to me as she cried.

Abby crawled onto my lap, resting her head on my chest and holding her teddy bear.

"Where is Jim going momma?"

I looked down at her, pure innocence staring back up at me.

I ran a hand through her curls, "He's going away for a little while sweetie, to be with his family."

She frowned as she noticed Jacqui's tears, before handing her the teddy.

"You hold him, he makes everyone better"

Jacqui laughed, rubbing the tears from her face and taking the bear, "I feel better already"

"We're going to have to take that cast off your arm Abby"

"But why! I like it. It's pink"

I laughed, "Because your arm is all better now. I just need to figure out how to get it off" I mumbled more to myself.

Abby rested her hand on my chest, snuggling as close as she could before closing her eyes.

I continued running my hand through her hair, soothing her to sleep and watching out the window as we continued our journey.

By the time we reached the CDC it was dark, all of us looked defeated as we saw the amount of dead bodies lying about, Army included.

The smell was horrific, Glen bending over gagging.

Abby whimpered at the sight of the bodies, so I picked her up and tucked her head into my neck, "Keep your eyes closed sweetie"

With my gun in my right hand, we quickly and quietly made our way through the bodies, trying to hold our breathes as we did so.

The shutters to the place were shut and wouldn't lift up when Shane tried.

"There's nobody here" T-Dog said.

"Then why are the shutters down?" Rick snapped.

"Rick has a point, in places like this they'd have lockdown to keep the people inside safe. Nobody gets out and nobody gets in." I said.

"Walkers!" Daryl shouted from the back of the group, being to fire at random walkers making their way towards us.

The children started crying, and I handed Abby to Carol, putting them and Sophia behind me, gun drawn and ready to use if absolutely necessary.

"He led us to a graveyard!" Daryl shouted

"He made a call" Shane snapped, storming towards him.

"Rick this is a dead end, you hear me? No blame. Fort benning is still an option"

"Be realistic Shane, we've no fuel!" I snapped, tensing as a walker close by got up off the ground, while Daryl was busy shooting at another one.

I grabbed my knife, running out to stab the walker in the head before it was fully up, quickly running back to the group.

"Fort Benning is 125 miles away!" Glen shouted.

"We need answers now Rick"

"Enough of this, come on man. Everyone back the cars!"

I took a screeching Abby from Carol, holding her close as we started making our way back.

"The camera, it moved!" Rick shouted

"You imagined it" Dale reasoned

"Even if you did it's automatic" Shane said trying to pull Rick away

"Come on Rick please!" I shouted

"I know you're in there! We have women and children. No food, no gas. Please I'm begging you!" Rick shouted up to the camera while Lori tried pushing him away.

"You're killing us. You hear me? You're killing us!"

More walkers were up now, blocking our exit. Daryl stood in front of Abby and I, shot gun pointed, ready to shoot when all of a sudden there was a bright light behind us.

We all turned in shock, the shutters fully opened. Somebody was there, Rick was right.

We wasted no more time and rushed forward into the entrance.

Maybe there was hope after all.


	12. Prince Daryl

**Thanks to:**

**Maddy120296  
Guest  
Amazon824  
FanFicGirl10 – **We shall see :P As much as I'd love for them to get it on right now it's a bit too soon. It's hard to know really when things between them should develop because I don't want it to be too soon and seem unrealistic..although I suppose when it's the end of the world, time doesn't really matter lol As for Carol, I never liked her in the beginning, I actually wished she was killed off. I saw no purpose in her at all. But now I do like her. Plus I know a lot of people dig her and Daryl together but noooo way. I'm sorry, but it's just not happening for me. I get that their close but I swear to goodness the writers better not make them a couple. To me it's like Daryl making out with his mother. Ew. But yeah in this I think I'll make her likable. She sort of reminds Amber of her mother, being a gentle, quiet woman and I guess she takes comfort in that. I'm maybe thinking of making Amber and Andrea quiet close too.  
**IrishBeauty294 – **Woo the same name! haha Thanks for reviewing!

**So I guess I forgot to really describe Amber (thanks IrishBeauty for pointing that out!). She has long brown hair that has a natural curl to it, hazel eyes, she's slim and just short of average height. She has a few tattoos which I don't get into detail about in this chapter but she has a bird flying out of a cage on her arm( to signify her becoming an adult when she was 18), her other arm has a deer in a forest to represent her hunting activities with her dad and a deer was the first thing she hunted, on her left wrist is a song quote 'seize the day' and on the other is her friend's name –we'll come to that later- and one on her hip which is a wolf paw print.**

**Just out of interest, I'm going to be writing this up to Season 3 and season 4 when it's back on and basically until the whole show finishes.. do you want this to continue as one story or break it up into sequels, like I'd finish this one at the end of season 2 and start a new story for season 3? Just asking so I know what is easier for you guys!**

**Thanks to those who have also been following **

The sound of a gun cocking caused everyone else who had a gun to raise it towards the noise. A figure stayed within the shadows, slowly walking out.

"Anyone infected?"

"No, one of us was but he didn't make it"

The man stepped forward, gun still pointed, "What do you want?"

Rick shrugged, "A chance."

The stranger scoffed, "That's asking an awful lot these days"

He looked around at us, studying the looks on our faces. I don't know whether it was the tiredness, the despair or the small children we had with us that made him accept us, "You all submit to a blood test, that's the price of admission. You got anything you wanna bring in, get it now. Once this door closes it stays closed."

Without hesitation the men ran outside collecting as much as they could. The rest of us stood in an awkward silence, the stranger staring at me.

I cleared my throat, "Um I'm Amber"

He nodded, "Dr. Edwin Jenner". He continued looking, curiosity on his face until I realised why he was staring. I had completely forgotten about the bruise and cuts on my face from that time in Atlanta.

When the men came back we were led to a small elevator, all of us cramped together. I stood in beside Daryl, arms brushing occasionally, Abby poking the crossbow in his hand, looking at it in admiration. The elevator came to a sudden stop, jolting me backwards slightly and causing one of the bags on my shoulder to fall off. Daryl threw an arm around my waist to stop me falling, "woah steady"

I get feel my cheeks heat up as I looked back at him, "Thanks"

He nodded at me before picking up my bag and carrying it out.

"Are we underground?" Carol asked from beside me as we were brought down a hall way.

"You claustrophobic?" Jenner asked

"A little" Carol admitted.

I took her hand, squeezing it which caused her to smile gratefully at me.

"Welcome to zone 5!" The doctor said, just as lights came on in the room.

I looked around in confusion, where was everyone else? Surely in a place like this there should be numerous staff members.

Rick voiced my thoughts to which Jenner replied that he was all that was left, Vi being a machine.

My heart sunk, this wasn't the way things were meant to be going.

A few minutes later we were waiting on getting our blood taken, I stood in line with Abby trying to reassure her that it would be fine.

When we were up next Abby started fussing again, "How about momma goes first huh?"

I sat down in the chair and let the doctor take blood, Abby in my lap, peeking out from the side of her eyes at what was going on.

"I don't wanna momma!"

"How about I do it sweetie? Will that be ok? It'll be over really quickly, I promise"

"Abby, I have somethin' for ya" Daryl's gruff voice called out. We both turned to see him walk towards, his arm behind his back. When he reached us, he brought his arm round, Abby's pink teddy in his hand.

"My teddy!" Abby squealed, snatching it from him and hugging it tightly, "Thankyou mista daryl"

He smirked, "No problem kid"

We made eye contact and I smiled gratefully at him and received a small smirk back.

"Can momma have a go now Abby?"

She nodded, only letting out a slight whimper when I pierced her skin with the needle. "Good girl, you're so brave!"

"What is that?" she asked, eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the blood coming out of her arm down the small tube and into the vial.

"That is red currant juice feeding the worm" I lied. At the hospital we used to tell children that their blood was juice and the tube was a worm to help them feel more at ease.

I finished and put a small plaster in the area, picking Abby up and sitting down with the others who had already been.

"How did you know how to do that?" Jenner asked, curiosity showing clearly on his face.

"I was – am a nurse. I studied back home"

"Ireland, right?"

I smirked, "How could you tell, is it that obvious?" I joked.

"Momma can I drink that juice?"

I laughed, "No not that one. That's a special kind."

"My first mommy used to give me that juice. It is yummy!" She giggled, rubbing her stomach.

I frowned, kneeling down in front of her, "Abby honey, she's not your _first_ mom, she'll always be your momma"

"But I thought you were my momma now"

"I am sweetie, but you have to remember that you had a momma before me. I'm looking after you now"

"Because her and daddy went away?"

"Yeah that's right sweetie"

"Well since you're my new momma, where's your husband? Mommy's and Daddy's are married"

I laughed at her innocence, "I don't have a husband sweetie"

"Do you not want one?"

I smiled at her, "I do but I just haven't found him yet"

"Hmm" She murmured stroking her chin in a thoughtful way, causing a few of the group to laugh at her. She gasped, "I know! You can marry mista daryl!" She clapped

My eyes widened and I laughed in shock, "Oh can I now? And what if Mister Daryl doesn't want to marry me?"

She gasped in horror at the thought looking between us, "But he _has_ too. He's your prince charming! He stopped you from falling, he saved you! And Uncle Merle told me you thought daryl was warm"

I could feel my cheeks burning as Glen laughed out, "Don't you mean hot?"

"Yeah! That was the word!" She squealed

I internally groaned, I'd kill Merle for telling her stuff like that if I ever saw him again. I could not look at Daryl at all, I felt like burying myself. My eyes wouldn't listen and I glanced up to see Daryl looking at me arms crossed, his eye brow raised and a smirk replacing his usual scowl.

"Don't worry momma, Uncle Merle also said daryl gave you the eyes but I don't know what that means."

I think I just chocked on my own saliva a bit. Now I didn't know whose face was redder, mine or Daryl's. The group were giggling behind us, watching in interest, when Glen started humming the wedding march.

"Ok Daryl, you have to ask momma to be your princess forever!" Abby said, arms crossed and a 'no nonsense' expression on her face.

I closed my eyes, that innocent child has no idea how much embarrassment – to the joy of the others – she is causing us.

"Oh what the hell" I heard him mumble.

I lifted my head in shock, gulping as he took my hand and got down in one knee.

He cleared his throat, sending a glare at the group behind us.

"Princess Amber, will you be my Princess forever?" He looked up at me with that smouldering gaze of his that I knew could make any woman weak.

"Aye, I'd love to Prince Daryl" I laughed.

He kissed me on the hand before standing up and sending a wink over to Abby.

The rest of the group laughed as Abby jumped up and down in joy.

"YAY! Oh momma, I can't wait. You're gonna wear a big princess dress!"

Daryl and I looked at each other shaking our heads, all we were going to hear about now was a 3 year old planning our 'wedding'.

/

A feast, a celebration, family time. This is what it felt like. All of us sitting round the table, eating spaghetti – a proper meal at last – and alcohol being passed around. The laughter could have been heard from the other side of the building. It was nice, to see the whole group like this. To have this sort of comfort at a time like this.

I got up from my seat and went over to Jenner who was sitting at the far end of the table.

"Mind if I join ya?"

He nodded down to the seat, "No problem"

I sipped on my drink before sighing and turning to him, "What exactly is this?" I asked, knowing nobody would be able to hear us.

He knew exactly what I was referring too.

He shrugged, gulping back his own drink, "Who knows huh? Bet they didn't teach you about this in nursing school. We think it's air borne. I was working on some stuff, trying to find a cure but that didn't work out. There probably is no cure. Once you've turned that's it, no hope. You'll stay that way until your brain's destroyed."

"Look I understand that people wouldn't be able to come back from that, I hardly doubt someone could survive with their insides ripped out. But what about people who have been bitten or scratched and haven't turned yet? Is there any medication? Think about years ago! Humanity can survive something tough like this, what about the irish famine, the black plague? I know this is a hell of a lot worse, but there's bound to be something right?"

"Normal antibiotics or any other drugs for that matter don't work. God knows how long it would take to find something that strong. Don't you understand Amber? Once you've been bitten or scratched that's it. There's no cure. No way to survive this! Everyone you know and love will die, whether it'll be from lack of food or from being a meal to those things. You cherish every moment you have with them because it's not going to last" He snapped.

I could feel my eyes filling with tears, as I looked around the group.

Daryl filling Glen's glass full of alcohol, laughing and smiling as he started to enjoy himself with the group, the grimes and Carol watching their children enjoy a good meal, Shane staring down at the table as T-Dog, Jacqui and Andrea joked around him and Dale looking on like a proud grandfather. Lastly I looked at Abby who was sucking up her spaghetti causing it to splash on her nose. She turned to me then and flashed me a huge open mouthed smile with red sauce all over her face.

I smiled back as best I could as I felt my lip trembling, eyes filling more and more as I thought about her and the family back home I may never see again.

Jenner speaking broke through my thoughts, "This planet? It belongs to the dead now."

I turned and glared at him, barely aware Rick and Daryl were looking at us.

"Well if ya believed that, you wouldn't still be here!" I snapped, before getting up and walking back over to Abby.

I glared down at the table, trying my hardest not to let his words get to me.

A hand setting another glass full of alcohol in front of me broke my glare and I looked up to see Dale, "Looks like you need it sweetheart"

I sighed and nodded, "Thanks Dale"

"Whatever's wrong, cheer up for now honey. We're celebrating!" Carol said from beside me.

"Yeah, you're right" I agreed, sipping on my drink.

Rick stood up then, "I think this would be an appropriate time to say many congratulations to Prince Daryl and Princess Amber on their new engagement. I can't wait for the wedding which Abby is planning. It will be magical. She'll make a good wife Daryl" Rick smirked, raising his glass and the rest followed.

"Yeah" Daryl nodded, "She will" he said, holding my gaze.

I put my face over my hands in embarrassment as Abby joined in on the cheers.

"Momma can I get drawings on my arms like you? They are so pretty!" She asked referring to my tattoos.

"Yeah mom I want some too!" Carl yelled, giving his mom the puppy dog look.

She shook her head at her son as I laughed, "Maybe when you kids are older"

"Have you got more momma?"

I stood up taking Abby's plate and began filling it with more food.

I nodded, "Yeah on my stomach" I said without thinking.

"I wanna see!" Abby grabbed the bottom of my top, pulling it up to reveal the tattoo on my hip as well as a few of the nasty looking scars.

"No!" I dropped the plate, trying to pull my top down as quickly as possible.

It had gone silent then and I knew everyone had caught a glimpse.

I sat down quickly, keeping my head down and refusing to look at anyone, my face burning in embarrassment and pulled Abby in my arms as she looked ready to cry, "I'm so sorry sweetie. You can see them later"

Rick quickly cleared his throat and began thanking Jenner, to take the attention off me.

Carol reached her hand over and squeezed my knee to show me some comfort.

I didn't listen to what else was being said but could feel eyes burning into me.

I glanced up quickly and saw Daryl staring intently at me.

He nodded and offered a small smile, holding up the bottle of southern comfort and pointing it at me offering me some.

I smiled and nodded back at him, watching as he got up and sat down on Abby's previous seat to fill up my glass.

After he did so, he stayed where he was, throwing his arm over the back of my seat and squeezing my shoulder.

A small action but it brought a lot of comfort.


	13. Amber's past

**So I have been literally awake for the past 20 something hours doing loads of school work and now this. I am extremely tired and this has probably a lot of mistakes but I'll fix it later.**

**Thankyou Guest, Flannigan's, charlieWarlieWoo, kunfupandalover, momoXvolturi, loveorpain, Amazon824, zaii, IrishBeauty294, FanFicGirl10, Goldenfightergirl and electrogirl88.**

**I've had quite a few negative reviews. Someone hates Abby and I had a complaint that Amber didn't go through social services to get custody of Abby. I'm sorry, but it's the end of the world. Zombies eating people. It takes months, maybe years for an adoption to go through, she wouldn't really have the time for that! I know I rushed the whole zombie apocalypse thing but come one, this is fiction after all. Also yes Abby's mother asked Amber to look after her daughter **_**while in hospital**_**, not as in literally 'Hey I'm dying, be her new mom'. Amber developed a very close relationship with Abby, she knew Abby had no other family and couldn't leave her in the hospital like that to be killed. Also to make it clear because someone was complaining that Amber didn't even know Merle, her and Merle knew each other for months and developed a very close relationship, I may have only shown you one interaction between them near the start, that doesn't mean to say that was the only time they interacted!**

/

After dinner, Jenner led us down a hall way towards rooms that we could sleep in.

"There's a rec room down the hall that you kids might like, just don't turn on anything that draws power"

I smiled as Carl and Sophia nodded their heads in excitement. It would be nice for them to play games and have some normalcy at a time like this.

"Oh and if you shower, go easy on the hot water" He said before walking off.

"Hot water?!" Glen turned around, eyes widen in his excitement.

T-Dog laughed, "That's what the man said!"

We all went off in search for rooms, Carol, Daryl and I heading off towards the end of the hallway, Carol choosing a room beside mine.

"Come on sweetie, let's get you a nice shower"

"Can Abby play games with me after Amber?" Sophia asked.

I nodded, "Sure she can, I'll bring her down to the rec room after"

"That's ok, I'll do that after Sophia and I have showered. You just bring Abby to me after her shower and I'll take them down. You relax and get a long shower yourself" Carol offered.

I smiled gratefully at her, "Thanks Carol"

After leaving the bag of clothes on the couch, I took Abby to the shower. I was in the middle of washing her hair when she asked about the scars on my stomach.

"Momma, what were those drawings on your tummy? I didn't mean to make you angry"

I smiled slightly at her thinking the scars were drawings like the tattoos and sighed before answering, "You didn't Abby, Momma didn't mean to shout. They just aren't very nice drawings that's all"

She frowned, "Are they not as pretty?"

I laughed, "No not really"

"Then why did you get them?"

I lifted her out of the shower, wrapping her in one of the huge towels left in the bathroom and took her into the room to get changed, using the smallest pair of Sophia's pyjamas that Carol gave me. Luckily there was a draw string that I could pull them tight to fit Abby.

"Momma didn't want them but somebody drew them on anyway"

"So they were being bad then?"

"Yeah I guess they were bad. But that was a long time ago. Now are you ready to go with Sophia?"

She nodded quickly, all talk of 'bad drawings' forgotten. "I want to play games! Will you come too?"

I held her hand and knocked on Carol's door, "Yeah but I'm going to get all clean first and then I'll read you a bedtime story. Does that sound ok?"

"Will you read me little red riding hood?" She asked as Carol and Sophia came out.

"I'll read you anything you want!" I said before turning to Carol, "Thanks for taking her. I'll be down soon"

"It's no problem at all; you just take your time"

To say the shower was amazing would be an understatement. It's funny how we never really appreciate the little things and all of a sudden a simple shower is one of the best things in life.

Looking down at my stomach, I trailed a finger over the scars that littered the surface. I sighed, thinking back on how I got them when my eyes drifted over to the tattoo on my wrist, _Harper_.

Harper, the girl who had been my best friend right from birth. We had literally been attached to hip right up until we were 18. I sat down in the shower, pulling my knees up to my chest as a few tears slipped from my eyes, remembering the night I lost my best friend and sister. Thinking about her made me think of my family back in Ireland.

Were they ok since the last time I spoke to them? Are they in the same place? Has the army kept control of everything like dad said they had or had they been overrun like the military had been here. Was I ever going to see them again?

Shaking my head, I got up; crying over it wasn't going to do any good right now. I got out of the shower, drying and dressing quickly in cotton shorts and a long t-shirt, and put my hair into a braid before making my way to the rec room.

/

Carol and I sat on the sofa under a blanket, after reading the children a book, watching Sophia and Carl playing chess while Abby would randomly clap every time they moved a piece, not understanding the game at all.

"It's nice isn't it? Watching them be kids again"

"Yeah, it's nice to see my daughter happy again. Even before all of this, she wasn't as happy as she is now. Ed was always strict, hardly letting her out to play with friends. I honestly thing with Ed gone, she can be herself. It's just a shame it had to happen at the end of the world" Carol sighed.

"Would you have ever left him?" I asked, hoping I wasn't pushing too much.

She shrugged, "I knew what Ed was doing was wrong but I don't know if I would ever have had the courage too. We didn't have any other family, Ed was all Sophia and I had, her father was the only protection she had. He might not have been a nice man but he helped keep a roof over our heads and put food in Sophia's stomach. I guess I was afraid that if I left, I wouldn't have been able to give her everything she needed."

I grabbed Carol's hand, "You are a brilliant mother to her Carol. Anyone can see that. You would have been able to give her everything but I think the most important thing you've been giving her along is unconditional love. Sophia knows you love her. She can survive just fine without Ed around. Now you've got all of us to call your family."

She smiled, squeezing my hand, "I know and I appreciate that so much. It's nice to feel like that."

Lori came in then smiling as she watched Carl and Carol and I decided it was time to put the kids to bed.

"This is the first night we might actually get some real sleep, it's a miracle" Carol laughed.

"Hmm that sounds nice. Don't get me wrong, before Abby and I met everyone we were staying in a small hotel and we had a bed but I just couldn't sleep right, not with knowing I was the only one that could protect Abby. Now that there's a group of us and we're safe from those things out there, I think we can all finally sleep with both eyes closed and not one eye open!"

Lori laughed, "And a lie in. We're definitely having a lie in."

"Amen to that!" Carol laughed.

Standing outside our rooms I gave Sophia and Carol a hug goodnight.

"I really like you Amber. You're like a big sister." Sophia said shyly, hugging her doll close to her.

I could feel a large smile make its way across my face, "Awk Sophia! You're like the little sister I always wanted"

Her eyes lit up, "Really?"

I giggled, bending down to give her another hug, "Really".

Carol smiled, taking her daughter into the room.

I put Abby on the couch, wrapping her up in blankets and putting a few pillows at the edge to try and prevent her rolling off. I waited until she fell asleep, before kissing her on the forehead and making my way down the hall to see if anyone was still in the dining area.

Shane came storming past, stopping when he saw me in the hallway.

"Oh hey Amber, I wanted to talk to you for a sec"

I raised an eyebrow at him, noticing the scratches on his neck, "Ok, but um what happened?"

He rubbed at his neck, "Just an accident. Anyway I wanted to apologise for the way I was behavin' towards you. I haven't been the nicest and we got off on the wrong foot so how about we start over?" He asked, stepping closer.

I narrowed my eyes at him, "You're drunk Shane. You want to apologise, you do it when you're sober."

He let out a deep breath through his nose, "I'm _trying_ to be nice here. I'd appreciate it if you'd accept that" He snapped.

I crossed my arms, "Really, this is you trying to be _nice_?"

He angrily ran a hand through his hair, "Look I'm sorry, I just, I'm not good at this. I want us to start over."

I sighed, "Right, sure whatever" I said before turning to walk away, only Shane grabbing my wrist stopped me.

He stepped closer, backing me into the wall, "I mean it, I think you and I could have a good thing goin' if we put everything behind us" He smirked, leaning his face close to mine.

I tried pulling my wrist away, "There will _never _be anything between us Shane. I don't know where the hell you're getting that idea from. You wanna start over, fine? We'll be civilized but that's it."

His jaw clenched, the grip on my wrist getting tighter, "What the hell is wrong with me huh? _She_ doesn't want anything to do with me now that he's back. It's like I didn't matter to her at all, even after everything I done for her! And now you won't even do as I ask. Ungrateful bitches both of you!"

My mouth dropped in shock, so this was all over Lori. He was pissed that she's still with Rick after I'm assuming her and Shane had a thing and now he was trying to move on me?

"It's that stupid hillbilly isn't it? You fuckin' that inbred?"

"You get the hell off me right Shane!"

"Ya best do as the lady says" A southern drawl came, causing Shane to let go off me quickly.

I turned to see Daryl glaring at Shane.. if looks could kill.

Shane laughed nervously, "We were just talkin' that's all man" He backed away then, disappearing down the hall.

I sighed, rubbing at my sore wrist.

"Ya alright?"

I looked up at Daryl, "Yeah thanks. He's just-"

"Losin' it?" He offered

I shrugged, "I guess so"

"Ya comin' back? Glen, T and me are gonna have a few more drinks"

I smiled, "Yeah sounds like fun"

/

Oh my lord. A drunk Glen has to be the funniest thing I've ever seen, Daryl wasn't letting him stop drinking either.

One minute he went from telling ridiculous jokes to crying about missing his cat.

"Like whenever I needed to talk, she was just there yknow. Never interrupted, just lent an ear and let me tell her all my worries."

T-Dog laughed, "I'm sure the reason she didn't interrupt was because she was a cat, man."

Glen sighed, "You just don't get it! You don't know her like I do."

My eyes widened, "Is he crying?" I asked Daryl, who was biting his lip trying not to laugh.

T-Dog stood up then, "I think you've had enough for one night Glen. Let's go" He said, helping Glen up.

"You are such a good friend T, have I ever told you that?" Glen asked as they made their way out of the room.

T-Dog's laugh could be heard down the hall.

I shook my head, "He's gonna be so sick in the morning"

Daryl smirked, "I know"

It fell into a comfortable silence, neither of us knowing exactly what to say.

"What did you do before all this?" I asked.

Daryl shrugged, "Worked in construction, done some jobs round the neighbourhood and went huntin' or ridin' as a hobby"

"I always wanted to learn how to ride a motorcycle. Must be nice, just get on a bike and ride for miles with the wind in your hair"

He nodded, "S'pose it cleared my head but huntin' did that too. Where'd you learn to hunt?"

"My daddy" I smiled, thinking back to the times we went hunting together. "My grandpa taught him and my older brothers learnt. Mom wanted me to be a typical girly girl but I refused. I wanted to be just like my brothers. I guess I was a bit of both. Loved dressing up occasionally and hanging out with girlfriends but going hunting with my dad was always my favourite thing to do. He taught me archery and how to fish too."

"No boyfriends?" He smirked

"Not really, I guess I never had a serious relationship before. Just those stupid high school relationships that last about a week." I laughed. "I was fine with being single and then I was so busy with getting my nursing that I didn't really think about it. I got lonely sometimes though, I guess it would have been nice to know what it was like to be in love. What about you?"

"Nah, guess I didn't really think about it either. Wasn't really a priority on the Dixon men's list"

I raised an eyebrow, "Merle sure made women a priority on his list."

"Merle was a pig though. He needed sex more than he needed oxygen" He rolled his eyes

I giggled, "I remember the first time he tried his 'moves' on me"

"Scarred ya for life didn't he?" He laughed. "You and him were pretty close though huh? He mentioned you a few times, didn't really believe him though until I saw it for myself."

"Oh yeah, that first time I met you. But yeah, we were close. I looked up to him like a brother and I guess he looked to me like a sister at times. He's alright you know, out there I mean. He's still alive."

He shrugged, "Merle's tough but he's not invincible. Don't know how far he got drugged up and losin' blood. I guess he could be alive though, he's stronger than people think"

It went silent again for a while, Daryl filling my glass with more alcohol. "Who's Harper?" He asked, nodding towards the tattoo.

"Harper, well she was my best friend and like a sister to me. Our families grew up together and so did we."

"She turn?"

I shook my head, "She died when we were 18, couple of weeks before our senior prom"

"Oh sorry" He muttered, "You uh-" he cleared his throat, "You wanna talk about it?"

I smiled to myself at how unsure he was but thought about what he was asking. I had never really talked about what happened before, maybe talking was a good thing.

I sighed, "Remember back at camp, when Carol was taking care of Ed's dead body and we ended up talking about her relationship and how some women aren't as smart as Carol and can't see that being in a relationship like that isn't right?"

He nodded, staying silent but I knew he was listening carefully.

"Harper met this guy when she was just 16, he was a few years older and I didn't really know much about him. I met him a few times, but there was just something about him. I guess he just rubbed me the wrong way. They'd been together for 2 years yet she kept it a secret from her parents and that whole time I hardly ever saw him. Those 2 years she changed, she was quieter, she lost loads of weight that she didn't need to lose at all and she very rarely hung out outside of school. Then one day I saw the bruises. I wasn't stupid, I knew what that bastard was doing. I confronted her about it, I thought maybe she was going to say she wasn't getting out of the relationship because she was scared of his reaction, turns out he twisted her mind that much, she actually thought he loved her and he done this to make her remember that she was his and nobody else's"

I shook my head in disgust, "I wanted to go to the police but she wouldn't let me. Then one day she was put into hospital, he pushed her down the stairs because of something so stupid, although she lied to her parents about what really happened. She could have been killed and I think it finally hit her. We had a really long talk about it and she told me she was going to end it with him. A few weeks after she got out we were organising a sleepover. Our parents were going out for the night so we decided we'd meet at the mall to look at prom dresses then we'd go back to hers for the night. She said before she met me she was breaking up with him. I'd been waiting about twenty minutes, Harper is _never_ late for anything. She wouldn't answer my calls so I decided to call over to her house." I stopped, taking a deep breath as I felt my eyes start watering.

"When I arrived, I heard nothing from inside. I thought maybe she had left and I missed her but I don't know, something just told me to go in just to check. I found her in the living room, just lying there surrounded by blood. I just remember her being so pale, I thought she was dead then, but I felt a pulse, a very slight one. I was gonna phone for an ambulance but the next thing I know I get hit over the head with a glass bottle. It all happened so quickly, it's still kind of hard to remember. He just started beating me, and he wouldn't stop. Kept yelling it was my fault she broke up with him. She deserved what she got and now it was my turn. I was dizzy, not really with it but I heard screaming, afterwards I realised it was coming from me. I remember the pain, especially on my stomach. He just kept stabbing and slicing me with the broken glass over and over. I'm not really sure after that, I woke up in hospital. Apparently a neighbour had just come home from work and heard me screaming. He was arrested, done for murder and attempted. Harper died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. God she was so young, she had so much ahead of her and he ruined that."

"Jesus Amber" Daryl said, gripping his glass.

"That's one of the reasons I became a nurse. I felt like a failure. I couldn't save her life but I wanted to save others. I hate the scars, I know they're a part of me now but they remind me of her, remind me that maybe if I had gotten there sooner-"

Daryl got up and came to sit beside me, squeezing my shoulders, "Don't ya dare! There was nothin' ya could have done Amber. The guy was a psycho, you couldn't have stopped him. Even if ya did then, he woulda done it eventually. You done everything for her. Ya stayed by her side through everything and ya tried yer best to get her out of that relationship. Ya should be proud and look at those scars as a reminder of how strong a person ya are, to come through all that."

He pulled me into a hug, which surprised me. Daryl Dixon didn't seem like the huggy type at all.

He sighed, "Come on, time for bed"

He walked down the hall with me, stopping outside my door, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, "Ya gonna be alright?"

I nodded, "Thanks Daryl, for listening"

He shrugged, looking away, "Was nothin'"

I shook my head, "No Daryl, it was everything. I really needed that"

I leant over and kissed him on the cheek, a blush rising on my cheeks, "Goodnight" I said quickly, before walking into the room and closing the door.

A few seconds later I heard a quiet, "Night Amber"

For the first time in a long time I felt better, now that I had finally gotten that off my chest and I had Daryl to thank for that.

I fell asleep with a smile on my face that night, content with the way things were going.

In fact, I'm sure nearly everyone was sleeping with smiles on their faces tonight.

It's a shame good things didn't last.

/

**So there's an insight into Amber's past, how she got the scars and a softer side to Daryl. Sorry if it's all a bit dramatic and unrealistic. For some reason I always had that story in mind for Amber and Daryl's character is quite hard to get right.**


	14. No hope

**Thanks to: gypsykl79, FanFicGirl10, Guest, Druid Archer, MAR76, GypsyWitchBaby, kunfupandalover, Forever Fanfiction Lover22,  
loveorpain – **_I'm sure they'll have a proper kiss soon enough_ ;)_and I'm going to assume you as well as the rest of the readers would like Daryl and Amber to get, ehm, down and dirty eventually? Haha That's why I have it M rated.. just incase._**  
momoXvolturi – **_I'm glad you liked it! I wanted her background story to be kind of different but was worried in case that seemed over dramatic.,  
_**punkrockpancake** – _Yeah it's kind of hard to write Daryl but I still wanted to start showing his softer side, which Amber is helping bring out. I know I haven't really gone into detail but I guess they both feel a connection and he's unsure of what to do with his feelings. So I'm trying to write him as still the 'tough, redneck' and also the 'softie'. It's harder than I thought balancing them so early on. Although as we progress, he'll be much more softer, open etc. like we see in the show. As for Shane it's hard to write him too. Amber was introduced to him at a bad time, he was completely heartbroken over the whole losing Lori to Rick thing and he has sort of taken it out on her and now she doesn't really trust him. I guess as well he just saw Amber as a way to get over Lori and he genuinely did want to apologise but with being drunk and angry, he just got pissed off that she didn't seem to believe him!_

**Thanks to all my followers too **** This one is just a filler, we basically know what happens in the CDC. Although it's my longest chapter yet ha**

/

The next morning the room was empty and after checking Carol's realised she must have taken Abby to breakfast. By the time I got ready for the day, ensuring I had my knife and gun at hand just in case, everyone was sitting round the table, a few of the group looking like death warmed up.

I smirked as I walked past Glen, "Hi Glen!"

"Uuugh don't shout"

I giggled, "How're you feeling?"

He put his hand down onto the table, his voice muffled, "Don't ever let me drink again"

"You've got Daryl to thank for that" I said, heading over to where Carol and Daryl were standing with T-Dog to get a plate of eggs.

"Morning guys"

"Morning sweetheart, sleep well?" Carol asked pulling me into a hug

"Yeah I did, thanks for taking Abby"

"It's no problem, you were out for the count and I didn't want to wake you"

"Eggs are powdered but like I said earlier, I do them good" T-Dog laughed handing me over a plate.

"Thanks T-Dog. I can't remember the last time I had eggs for breakfast, I'll take them anyway at all right now!"

Carol and T-Dog went to hand out more food, leaving Daryl and I leaning against the counter.

He cleared his throat, "Uh mornin'. Ya alright after.." he trailed off, referring to what he told him last night.

I smiled, "Yeah I'm completely fine. Thanks"

Shane came in then avoiding eye contact with everyone, when T-Dog noticed the scratches down his neck.

"What the hell happened to you? Your neck!"

"Must have done it in my sleep" He muttered.

"Never seen you do that before" Rick pointed out.

"Yeah me neither. It's not like me at all" Shane said, starring over at Lori.

Daryl and I glanced at each other; we didn't need to verbally communicate to understand we both caught the look Shane sent Lori.

I frowned, maybe it was best we pretended not to see it.

Jenner had only walked through the door when Dale spoke up, "Doc I don't mean to bombard you with questions so early on but.."

"We didn't come here for the eggs" Andrea finished.

Jenner sighed, "Follow me".

/

"Is that a brain?" Carl asked as we all stared up at a screen, even Abby who sat in my arms stared up at it in wonder.

Jenner nodded, "An extraordinary one"

The image zoomed into the brain, glowing lights moving quickly through it.

I let out a quiet laugh of shock as I stared up at it.

Jenner looked over at me, "And I bet you thought the monitors and equipment you use in hospital was high tech huh?" he laughed

I laughed back, "They seem like they belong in prehistoric times compared to this. This is just amazing. The human body never fails to amaze me but to see the brain like this.." I trailed off not really knowing how to describe it.

"I know what you mean. Very few people got to see this, you're lucky"

"Momma look at the pretty lights!" Abby said pointing up at the screen.

Shane spoke up, asking a question the rest were probably wondering too, "What are those lights?"

Jenner turned to him, "They're a person's life. Experiences, memories, it's everything. Somewhere in all that organic wiring, in those ripples of blue light is you, the thing that makes you unique, human."

"You don't make sense, ever?" Daryl asked from beside me causing a few to laugh.

Jenner turned to me, lifting out his hand, "Why don't we let our nurse explain?"

I raised my eyebrows in surprise, "Uh ok. You have electric impulses in your brain" I said looking at Daryl. "They carry all the messages. Like if you set your hand on something really hot, a signal is sent up the brain and it registers the heat and that's when you realise the object is too warm, and you lift your hand off because the brain tells you to" I looked to Jenner for confirmation.

"Correct, they determine everything a person says, does and thinks right from the moment of birth to the moment of death"

"Death? That's what this is, a vigil?" Rick asked, walking towards us.

"Well rather the play back of the vigil" Jenner said, never looking away from the screen.

"This person died. Who?" Andrea asked, staring up at the screen with tear filled eyes, most likely thinking of Amy.

Jenner sighed, "Test subject nineteen. Someone who was bitten, infected and volunteered to let us record the process"

The image on the screen changed, the brain beginning to fill with red and black.

"What is that?" Glen asked in shock

"It invades the brain like meningitis, the brain and major organs shut down. Then death. Everything you ever were or will be, gone." He said looking down, as the lights in the brain disappeared.

A quiet voice broke the sudden silence, "Is that what happened to Jim?" Sophia asked looking between Carol and I.

"Yes honey it is"

I sighed, holding Abby closer to me.

"The resurrection times vary wildly, this one was two hours, one minute and seven seconds" Jenner said as red lights began appearing at the bottom of the brain.

"It restarts the brain?" Lori asked in disbelief.

"No, just the brain stem. Basically it gets them up and moving"

"But they're not alive?" Rick suggested

Jenner shrugged, "You tell me"

"Well it's nothing like before, most of that brain is dark"

Jenner agreed, "Dark, lifeless, dead. The frontal lobe, the human part, that doesn't come back. It's just a shell driven by mindless instinct."

The body on the screen began moving, mouth opening and closing as if gasping for air. Something shot through the brain, making the body stop.

"God what was that?" Carol asked

"He shot his patient in the head. Didn't you?"

Jenner didn't answer, instead told Vi to power down the screen and work stations.

"You've no idea what this is do you?"

Jenner shrugged, "It could be fungal, viral, parasitic"

"Or the wrath of God" Jacqui interrupted.

"There's that"

"You said it infects the brain like meningitis. If that's the case, couldn't we treat someone who's been bitten as if they had it?" I asked

"We would probably go about it that way yes but like I told you last night, we would need to make a new antibiotic, one strong enough for this."

"Have you any idea how to make it?"

"I tried, I tried examining a piece of infected brain but it got damaged. It was the freshest bit I had"

"Somebody must know something, somebody somewhere!" Andrea said, convincing herself more than anyone else.

"There are others right? Other facilities?" Carol asked, pulling Sophia closer to her.

I watched Jenner's facial expressions carefully, one of the many skills you pick up as a nurse is learning how to read someone. We weren't going to get the answers we were looking for.

"There may be some people like me" He shrugged in response.

Rick stepped forward, "How can you not know?"

"Everything shut down, communication, directives, I've been in the dark for almost a month"

"It's not just here" I whispered, all eyes focusing on me. "It's in Ireland, I got in contact with my family. If it's there, it must be in the United Kingdom.. Europe. Basically everywhere right?" I asked, my eyes filling with tears as the sudden reality hit me as we spoke about it.

"So what there's nothing left, nothing at all anywhere?" Andrea asked disbelieving.

"Man I'm gonna get shitfaced drunk, again" Daryl mumbled, resting his face in his hands.

I frowned and hesitantly put my hand on his back, not really knowing how to comfort him.

"Doctor Jenner, I know this has been taxing for you and I hate to ask one more question, but that clock is counting down. What happens at zero?"

"The uh, the generators run out of fuel"

"And then?"

Jenner simply walked away.

"Vi what happens?"

"Facility wide decontamination will occur"

A tense silence fell amongst the group. This was not good at all.

I looked up at Daryl, the worry stretched over my face, "Something doesn't seem right Daryl. I think more is happening than what he's letting on"

He sighed before putting his hand on my shoulder and squeezing it, "I know, I'll go see what Rick has to say" he said before walking off towards Rick.

I ran a hand through my hair trying to think of what exactly the decontamination would include.

A throat being cleared from behind me caught my attention and I turned to see Shane standing looking unsure of himself.

"Hi ladies. I uh, I want to properly apologise for last night and for how I've been treating you in general. I know we haven't had the best start and last night I let the alcohol get to me and I know it's no excuse. I'm sorry for grabbing you like that."

I stared at him in silence, shifting Abby in my arms, who held tightly onto her teddy, before letting out a sigh. I guess I should forgive him when he's apologising, maybe things just got to him and he hasn't been himself like he said. I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt, but that didn't mean we were suddenly buddy buddy with each other.

I nodded, "You're right, it isn't an excuse but I accept your apology. I guess the stress has been getting to you. I just don't like the fact you seem like you have something against me, even from the start. The only time I saw you nice to me was that first night. I suppose I'm partly to blame too since I haven't exactly been pleasant either."

He shook his head, "I really don't know why I was like that. You stick up for yourself and don't take shit from anyone. No need to apologise for that. So uh we good?" He asked rubbing a hand over his hair.

I shrugged, "Sure"

"Shane! Come help us man." Rick shouted over, causing us to look up.

Daryl walked towards us, glancing between Shane and I, narrowing his eyes in Shane's direction.

"Well yeah, I better go. Thanks Amber" He smiled before joining the other men.

"Asshole givin' you trouble?" Daryl asked

"No actually he uh, he apologised"

He scoffed, "Still don't trust him. Rick, T, Shane and Glen are goin' down to the basement, check things out."

I nodded, "Ok, I guess we should all go back to the rooms or something"

Daryl looked at Abby, ruffling her hair, "Hope yer keepin' outta trouble kid."

Abby nodded, "I'm a good girl aren't I momma?"

I laughed, "You sure are"

Sophia walked over with Carol then, "Can Abby come play with me?"

"You want to sweetie?" I said

"Yeah momma!" She said trying to wiggle out of my arms.

I set her down, Sophia taking her by the hand and the girls running off giggling. "I'll be down soon" I said to Carol who looked between Daryl and I and smiled, "Oh you just take your time. I'll talk to you later" she said with a smirk and a certain look in her eye.

I shook my head, "Oh I'm sure you will" Knowing she would want to know what's going on between us.

"So what did Rick say?"

"He's gonna check the generators. Should be one down there that still runs in emergencies."

"I just don't understand why everything is shutting down. Jenner says the generators are runnin' out of fuel which really means once they're done, there's no using them again."

"He's actin' like we'll not be here to use this buildin' again. I thought decontamination was just a clean up or somethin'. Seems a lot of effort shutting everythin' down."

I frowned as I thought about what Daryl said, "Seems like a pretty big clean up to me"

I couldn't shake the feeling that something seemed really wrong.

/

"What's wrong?" I asked Carol from my spot on the floor, playing a board game with the girls.

"The air conditioning has stopped"

I glanced up at her in surprise, "Stopped?"

"Hmm" She nodded.

"Come on kids" I said to Sophia and Abby, taking their hands and following Carol out of the room.

"Hey what's goin' on? Why's everythin' turnin' off?" Daryl said from his door.

Jenner walked past, grabbing the bottle from his hand.

"Everything's being prioritised" He said, walking off.

We all followed after him, "Air's not a priority?" I asked

"And lights?" Dale added as the lights in the hall switched off.

"It's not up to me. Zone five is shutting itself down"

"Hey, what does that mean?!" Daryl shouted quickly catching up to him, "Hey man I'm talkin' to ya! What dya mean it's shutting itself down, how can a building do anythin?"

"You'd be surprised".

Rick, T-Dog, Shane and Glen came running into the room then, "What is happening?"

"The system is dropping all non essential uses of power. It's designed to keep the computers running to the last possible second."

Jenner stopped, taking a drink before handing the bottle over to Daryl who snatched it off him.

"It was the French. They were the last ones to hold out. While our people were bolting and committing suicide in the hallways they stayed working until the very end. They thought they were close to a solution."

"What happened?"

"Same thing that's happening here, a power grid. Ran out of juice"

"Surely they could have kept going! Just because a building ran out of fuel doesn't mean they had to stop. Couldn't they have gone somewhere else?" I asked

Jenner scoffed, "The world runs on fossil fuel. I mean how stupid is that?" He said, not quite answering my question.

We all looked at each other, not knowing what to say but Rick seemed to know this was a lot more serious than we thought.

"Everybody grabs your things; we're getting out of here now!" Rick yelled, not leaving room for discussion.

Without being told twice I quickly picked Abby up and headed for the door.

All of a sudden loud sirens blasted through the room causing Abby to cry out in fright.

"Thirty minutes to decontamination" Vi said

Shouting was going on around me, Abby sobbing into my neck, but I didn't stop as I ran past Rick towards the door.

I was nearly there when all of a sudden the metal door shot up from the ground.

I let out a gasp in shock, running my hand over the door trying to feel for a handle but knowing it was pointless.

I turned to the group, "He just locked us in"

"He just locked us in?!" Glen yelled

I ran down to join the rest of the group, while trying to settle Abby.

Daryl ran up to Jenner yelling incoherently and had to be pulled back by Shane and T-Dog.

"Jenner open that door!" Rick yelled, storming towards him.

Jenner remained calm, "There's no point, everything topside is completely locked down and the emergency exits are sealed"

"Well open the damn things!" Dale said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and rubbing Abby's back.

"That's not something I control, the computers do. I told you once that front door closes it wouldn't open. You heard me say that."

"We didn't think you meant it this way! You can't keep us in here Jenner!" I said, loose tears falling from my eyes.

I was scared, not just because we were locked in here and god knows what would happen, but I was scared for Abby. The poor girl was shaking in my arms. Jenner was scaring her and I didn't like that one bit.

"It's better this way"

"What happens in twenty eight minutes. What happens?!"

Jenner stood up, getting in Rick's face, "Do you know what this place is? We protected the public from very nasty stuff! Stuff that could wipe out half the country, stuff you don't want getting out ever!"

He looked at me then, "You should know how detrimental that can be! What do you do if a patient comes in with a harmful virus?"

I shook my head in confusion, "We uh, we isolate them"

"Why?"

"To stop other patients contracting it."

"What do you do to the room? What would you do to any room after it's been used?"

"It's thoroughly cleaned and then left to air dry. Why? I don't-"

"For the safety of others. Just like what's happening now. Normal bleaches and fancy cleaning products might work in hospital but they'd have little effect in here. Takes something a lot stronger than that."

I felt sick to my stomach, different ideas running wild in my head.

"In the event of a catastrophic power failure or terrorist attack for example, HITs are deployed to prevent any organisms getting out." He explained.

"HITs?"

"Vi define"

The robotic voice spoke out then, "HITs high impulse thermobaric fuel air explosives consist of a two stage aerosol ignition that produces a blast wave of significantly greater power than any known explosive except a nuclear"

I let out a laugh of shock, the tears running steadily down my face, "Please tell me you're joking. You can stop this right?" I asked, wrapping an arm around a sobbing Carol who was holding Sophia tightly to her.

"It says the air on fire. No pain, an end to sorrow, grief, regret. Everything."

/

We sat hugging each other close as Daryl and Shane were hitting at the door with axes, trying to find some way of opening it.

I sat glaring at Jenner, my arms wrapped around Sophia and Abby.

"You all should have left well alone. You know what's out there. A short brutal life and an agonizing death."

"Well we've made it this far haven't we? And we could make it a lot further if some psychopath wasn't holding us against our will!" I spat

"Those doors are built to withstand a rocket launcher" Jenner said, ignoring me as Shane complained about not being able to make dent.

"Well your head ain't!" Daryl yelled running to Jenner with the axe.

"Daryl enough!" Rick yelled as they tried holding him back.

"This is what you want! Last night you said it was only a matter of time before the ones you love were dead" Jenner said to Rick.

Shane scoffed, "What you really said that?"

"Well I had to keep hope alive didn't I?" He tried explaining himself.

"There is no hope, there never was!"

"There's always hope. Maybe not you, maybe not here but somebody, somewhere"

"What part of everything's gone don't you understand?" Andrea put in from her spot on the floor.

"Listen to your friend, she gets it. This is our extinction event"

"This isn't right, you can't keep us here!" Carol shouted

"Just a millisecond, no pain" Jenner reassured.

"My daughter doesn't deserve to die like this!" She sobbed as we all stood up.

"Wouldn't it be nicer, kinder, just to hold your loved ones close?"

Out of nowhere Shane had a gun thrust in Jenner's face, "Open the door!"

I pushed Carol, Abby and Sophia behind me as Rick tried to calm Shane down.

"Stop it Shane! There's no point in threatening to kill him, he's dyin' anyway. It's what he wants!" I said.

"We'll never get out of here if you do this. He dies we all die!" Rick said

Shane let out a growl before shooting at all the monitors, causing the children to scream behind me. Daryl and T-Dog stepped in front of us, blocking them.

"Stop it Shane, you're scaring my daughter!" I yelled

Rick grabbed the gun from him, hitting him across the face, Shane falling hard on the floor, "Are you done now?"

"Yeah, I guess we all are."

I turned to Carol behind me, "Go to Lori and get the children ready to go, just in case"

They quickly gathered the children closer as Daryl went back to try the door and Rick and I walked closer to Jenner.

"I think you're lying, about there being no hope." Rick said, "If that's the truth you would have bolted with the rest, taken the easy way out but you didn't. You chose the hard path. Why?"

"Not because I wanted to! I made a promise to her. My wife." He said pointing up at the screen where we saw the vigil of test subject nineteen.

"She begged me to keep going, how could I say no? It should have been me on that table, not her. She ran this place, I just worked here. She could have done something about this, but not me."

"And what would your wife think of you now huh? How would she feel knowing her husband is keeping innocent people, children, locked up here. What would she think about marrying a murderer?" I spat

"You're wife didn't have a choice but you do. That's all we want. A choice, a chance."

"Let us keep trying as long as we can" Lori begged

"I managed to get in contact with my family back in Ireland when this all happened. They're safe there, the army had the place well secured. My father told me it was safe enough to try and get back there. I don't know, maybe it's gotten worse, maybe it hasn't. But think about that. Just because the army were overrun here, doesn't mean it happened everywhere. I'm holding onto hope that I can see them one day again. Hoping that my little girl back there will meet them, that she'll grow up with Sophia and Carl like children should. Maybe not right now, but eventually. Please don't take my daughter's life away from her before she's got the chance to fully live it." I begged.

Jenner looked between us, "I told you top side is locked down, I can't open those" He said, moving away from us towards to desk, Rick following him. He pulled Rick close to him, speaking words we couldn't hear, as the door slid open.

Carol and Lori had the children already at the door, the others following close behind, "Come on Rick!" I yelled.

We started running, when Jacqui stopped, "I'm staying."

"That's insane!" T-Dog yelled trying to pull her.

"No, it's completely sane for the first time in a long time. I don't want to end up like Jim or Amy." She said.

The other started moving while I looked at Jacqui in disbelief, "Come on Jacqui please!"

From the corner of my eye I could see Dale holding Andrea, speaking closely with her.

She shook her head, "Honey, I'm tired. I'm tired of all this running, this constant looking over my shoulder. I don't want this life anymore, it's not for me"

I looked around, noticing Dale now sitting down.

"Please, all of you! It doesn't have to be like this. Jacqui-"

I stopped, sobbing as she held my face in her hands, "You have done an amazing job at being a mother to Abby, and you're going to continue doing so. You have something to live for, to keep fighting for. But sweetie, I'm done. Now you need to go" She said, kissing me on the forehead.

I looked at the clock, only a few seconds had passed since I'd been standing there but it seemed a lot longer. I looked at Dale with pleading eyes, before shaking my head, "I'm sorry" I said before turning and running out of the room.

If I had longer I would stay and try and talk him out of it but I couldn't. Like Jacqui said, I had a beautiful little girl waiting on me, a daughter I had to keep fighting for. It was stupid of me to even stay for those few short seconds.

I had less three minutes to get out, and tripped several times up the stairs, I was sobbing that much I could hardly see. I pushed my legs harder when I reached the entrance, glass shards crunching under my feet. I headed towards the broken window, jumping out.

Many dead bodies littered the ground still, but there were a few walkers up and walking, between me and the cars.

"Come on Amber!" Rick yelled, as he and Daryl shot at the walkers.

I kept running, when a vice grip around my ankle made me tumble hard to the ground.

I grabbed for my knife, stabbing it into the head of the legless walker that had grabbed onto me.

I kicked up as quickly as I could, Daryl running forward to grab my hand and pull me towards his car. We ran past Carol and I scooped Abby up into my arms. He threw the door open and we jumped inside.

I pulled Abby close to me, "The others?" Daryl asked.

I tried to wipe away the tears as I shook my head.

Movement out the window caught my eye and I looked to see Dale and Andrea jumping out the window, "Jesus Daryl look!"

Honking could be heard from the RV, "Get down!" Daryl yelled.

I put Abby down where the passengers feet would go and threw my body down on the bench seat, using my hands to cover her ears, Daryl throwing his on top of mine just as the CDC exploded.

Abby screamed at the loud noise, "Shh honey, you're ok, that's it over now" I reassured her, lifting her up when Daryl raised his body off mine.

I pulled Abby into my lap, rocking her, as we watched the building burn, my eyes filling with tears again as I thought of Jacqui being among that.

Dale and Andrea jumped into the RV and Daryl turned to look at me, "Ya alright?"

I looked down at my daughter, running my hands through her curls, knowing I'd be fine because I had her, "Yeah I will be"

Daryl started the car and followed the cars in front, I watched out the window until the CDC disappeared, but the smoke was still visible.

"What now?" I asked Daryl.

He shrugged as he looked at me, "Same as we've always been doin. Survivin' a day at a time."

I guess that's all we could do now.


	15. Sophia

**Thanks for the reviews: Dalonega Noquisi, Guest, kunfupandalover, FanFicGirl10, felicia2235 and **

**punkrockpancake - it's hard to write Shane because I don't want him to come across as a bad guy completely, not yet anyway. I'm just trying to show that he's going through a bad time and has taken it out of the wrong person but he was genuinely sorry for it. And I'm glad you liked the fact she stayed to try and talk Jacqui out of it. She cares about everyone in her group (well not as much when it comes to Lori and as for Shane, she finds it hard to care for him to the same extent as everyone else because of how he treated her at the start but she doesn't necessarily hate him) and she didn't want to lose Jacqui but at the same time she knew she had a daughter waiting for her and that's what made her leave sooner. You're right, if there wasn't Abby she would have stayed longer and tried harder. That's why she said sorry to Dale before running out because she was apologizing for not staying and trying to talk him out of it. Plus it's in her nature to help, especially with her being a nurse and sometimes she takes it to heart when she can't help someone.**

**Thanks for following etc :)**

**Also would you lovely readers like to see things getting steamy between Daryl and Amber in the future, as in writing it out? That's the reason I rated this story M but I don't want anyone to be offended by a sex scene. Last thing I want to do is insult my readers! Let me know your thoughts.**

/

We had been driving in silence for a while; Abby finally settled down and was sleeping peacefully in my arms.

Daryl sighed, "What the hell were ya thinkin?"

I turned to him, furrowing my eyebrows in confusion, "What?"

"Back there. Got to the entrance and turned to get you only to see you weren't with us. Thought you were-"

"Jesus no! I wasn't planning on staying. I tried to talk Jacqui out of it then when I saw Dale staying I wasn't gonna wait around for them to change their minds. I knew I had to get out. Daryl I have a daughter to think about it. I'd never leave her like that." I said looking down at her.

"Yeah well don't do somethin' stupid like that again" He mumbled.

"You've took on a shit load of responsibility" He said nodding down at Abby.

I shrugged, "What else could I do. She has no other family, I couldn't just leave her in the hospital like that. I've come to love her like she was my own daughter. I don't care that I have a huge responsibility now and that it's not just my own back I need to watch. I don't regret saving her"

"Well she's, uh, lucky to have a mom like you" he said, biting at his thumb, a habit of his I've noticed he does when he's nervous or thinking.

I smirked to myself, Daryl Dixon wasn't a man to compliment anyone. "Thanks"

After another few minutes of silence he pointed at the compartment in front of me, "Some music in there if ya want it."

Being careful not to wake Abby, I reached into the compartment to pick out a CD.

"Nice" I said, noticing he had similar music taste to me.

"Rock and roll girl huh?" He smirked

"Rock, metal, anything really. I love Metallica, Guns N Roses, Iron Maiden, Bob Dylan, The Cranberries, Evanescence, The Script, you name it. Just none of that ridiculous music teenage girls listen to these days, blugh" I said, putting in a Led Zepplin CD.

"What no Britney Spears? And The Script, really. Why because they're Irish too?"

"Oh no how could I ever forget about her" I said sarcastically "And yes, The Script. Come on Daryl, this is Danny we're talking about."

"Yeah, right" He said shaking his head.

"So what's with the tattoos?" Daryl asked.

"Well I got the bird on my arm flying out of a cage when I turned eighteen, really just to represent me becoming an adult. The deer was a reminder of the first animal I hunted with my Dad, I'm not the best at tracking, but I killed it and it was a huge accomplishment for me. You know what Harper means, the other wrist is song lyrics from a favourite band of mine and the wolf print, well, I guess I got it to try and cover one of the scars but wolves are also my favourite animal. I'd love to have gotten more"

"What did your mom have to say about the tattoos?"

"I think she almost had a heart attack if I'm honest" I laughed, "My brothers and Dad had them so she couldn't really say much."

"You didn't even tell her you were getting them?"

"Not the first time no. I knew she would have said no, so I figured if I get it and _then _tell her, it's not like I was disobeying her or like she could do anything about it." I smirked

Daryl let out a loud laugh, "Your poor mom" he said shaking his head.

I didn't say anything, instead just watched him laugh. The way his eyes crinkled at the corners and a huge smile crossed his face. It was good to see him like that. Of all the time I've known him, I don't think I've ever seen him laugh like that. And damn was he even more good looking when he was.

Daryl glanced over, "What?" he grunted.

I shook my head, feeling my cheeks heat up slightly, and looked out the window, "Nothing"

/

The men were emptying the cars and siphoning gas out of the ones we were leaving behind. We decided it would be easier to travel in fewer cars. Daryl was taking Merle's bike and Abby and I would be riding in the RV with Dale, Glen, T-Dog, Andrea and Shane.

Abby stood with Carol and Sophia while I got my stuff from the back of Daryl's truck. The only bag I could find was the bag of alcohol Doc had left me. I put it into the RV before going back out to find Daryl.

"Hey Dixon" I said, approaching his truck again to see him clearing out the front compartments.

He raised an eyebrow, "Yeah McManus?"

"Did you put my stuff somewhere?"

He looked confused, "Whatever was left should be there. Rick and I grabbed bags from the back before we went into the CDC so whatever we took is long gone by now. You knew that"

I sighed, running a hand through my hair, "Damn it"

"What's wrong?" Rick asked coming over

"The medical bag isn't here. It must have been brought into the CDC too"

"Ah shit Amber, we didn't-"

"No, no I'm not blaming you. None of us knew the CDC was gonna blow up. There's another bag I gave Dale when I first met you guys, there's not a lot in it, just some bandages and medication but it'll do us for now"

I was kicking myself for losing a lot of perfectly good medical supplies that would be even more necessary now than before.

Rick put a hand on my shoulder, "Don't be worrying. That's plenty, and if we ever run out we can raid a pharmacy ok?"

I nodded, "And when we stop somewhere, I'm gonna have to see if I can find something to get Abby's cast off"

"Next place we stop we'll look, see if we can find a saw. Shouldn't be that hard, although shame we had no electricity, an electric saw would have made the job a lot easier. We'll get it sorted."

"Thanks Rick" I said before he walked off asking everyone if they were ready to go.

I turned to Daryl as he got on the bike, "So be careful"

"Always am"

/

I sat up front with Dale and Glen while Andrea and Shane sat at the table cleaning guns.

"Have you ever travelled much Dale?" I asked

"My wife and I used to go abroad a lot when we were younger. I was hoping we could have a road trip in this RV, you know, enjoy our retirement, but then she took sick, wasn't really fit to go anywhere"

"I've always wanted to do a road trip around America" I sighed.

"Hmm you never know, maybe I'll take you sometime" He laughed

I smiled at him, "What was she like?"

"She actually looked very like you when she was your age, just darker eyes and shorter hair. She was perfect in every way. The complete opposite of me. I was shy, she wasn't afraid to speak her mind. She was extremely loyal and fierce when she had to be. Of all the arguments we had I don't think I ever won one." he laughed, "She had the greatest personality and man could she bake! She made some of the best apple pie I've ever tasted. Being with her was as easy as breathing" He smiled

"She was your soul mate"

"That she was"

I sighed, "I always imagined getting married and having loads of children. Apart from Abby coming into my life, I guess that's not going to happen now."

Dale frowned, "Just because dead people decided to take over the world doesn't mean to say we can't keep living normally, that you can't fall in love and experience something so wonderful. If it's meant to happen, it will. Don't lose hope" He smiled.

"Well I guess I have a tough choice between all you men. Not Rick though, he's a taken man and Carl's a little too young for me"

Dale raised an eyebrow, "I thought we've already established who you're going to marry thanks to Abby. Prince Daryl, remember?"

"Seriously though can you see Daryl being the type of man that wants to settle down?"

Dale shrugged, "You never know. Maybe the right girl needs to come along" He said, eyeing me in a certain way.

I rolled my eyes, "Shouldn't you be watching the road?" I asked jokingly, knowing it wouldn't have mattered. We were the only living things driving on the road anymore.

A while later our road was blocked, an overturned lorry lying in the middle of the road surrounded by other cars.

Daryl pulled up to the drivers said, nodding in at us, telling us he found a way around. Dale manoeuvred the RV carefully around abandoned cars, many though were filled with dead bodies. We didn't get far before the RV made a loud noise and came to a stop.

"Damn it" Glen mumbled, getting out and the rest of us following.

I picked Abby up, holding her close to me as I looked around, cautious that some of the dead bodies may not be as dead as we thought.

"Problem Dale?" Shane asked, grabbing one of the guns

"Oh you know just the small problem of being stuck in the middle of nowhere with no hope of finding a-" He stopped short, when he looked around and realised we were surrounded by cars that we could took a radiator hose from. "Ok that was dumb" he mumbled.

"Plenty of stuff we can find here" Daryl said, rummaging through the boot of a car.

"We could siphon more gas" T-Dog suggested.

"And maybe find some water?" Carol asked from beside me.

"I don't know how I feel about this, this is a grave yard" Lori complained from the back of the group.

I rolled my eyes, "Not like they have any need for it now is there?"

The group began separating, checking out different vehicles. Dale came over then, "Why don't you give Abby to me so you're arms are free? Glen's working on fixing the RV and I'm going to sit up top to keep watch. You could go look for clothes for her and some more medical supplies"

"I don't know Dale, I don't want to leave her"

"She'll be fine with me, I have some pencils and paper to keep her occupied"

Dale sensed my hesitation, "Nothing's going to happen. How about it Abby, want to come sit on top of the RV and draw?"

Abby's eyes lit up at the possibility of colouring, "Can I momma?"

"Fine but you be careful up there. You do as Dale says ok?"

Dale climbed up and I gave Abby a kiss before passing her up to him. "Don't worry, she's safer up there than down here" Glen reassured.

I walked past Carol who was holding up a red shirt, Lori giving her a dirty look.

"Ed never let me wear nice things like this. We're going to need clothes" she tried to explain.

"You take it Carol, you're right, we do need clothes and I bet it'll look great on you" I told her, squeezing her arm as I passed by.

We made several trips back to our vehicles carrying bag full's of clothes suitable for everyone and toys for the kids to play with.

I looked through another car, staring in at the back seat. A pink baby's car seat was strapped in the back seat, spots of blood smeared on it and throughout the car. I shuddered suddenly feeling extremely sick, not wanting to imagine what an innocent baby went through.

"Get down!" I heard being hissed and turned to see Rick pointing to the ground.

I looked behind him to see what looked like hundreds of walkers heading our direction. I glanced up at the RV and saw Dale lying flat, Abby tucked into his arms and her head into his chest, shielding her from the view.

I dropped down and rolled under the car, Sophia under the car in front.

Carol and Lori were a little over the way, Lori having to hold her hands over Carol's mouth to keep her from crying out.

Tears were slowly dripping down my face, worried sick to my stomach about Abby.

Sophia whimpered and I pointed to my eyes, telling her to keep watching me.

I'm not sure what was worse, the moaning or the smell. Feet slowly shuffled past, but I couldn't hear much over the thumping of my heart, worried that the walkers would be able to hear it too it seemed that loud.

It seemed like a life time had passed, but finally the last walker was gone. I closed my eyes and let out a sigh of reply, but stayed where I was for a bit longer, just to make sure it was safe.

Sophia screaming caused me to open my eyes in alarm and I saw her shuffling under the car and under the railing trying to get away from the two walkers chasing after her.

Without thinking, I rolled out from under the car, jumping over the railing and grabbed my knife, following after them.

I could hear Carol sobbing back on the high way as Rick joined me and we ran after the walkers.

"Split up!" I shouted to Rick, taking the left as Rick took the right.

I could see a blur on blonde hair ahead, "Keep going Sophia!" I called, hoping to reassure her that I was there.

I kept going forward, and arrived at a river, seeing Rick and Sophia. I jumped down the drop, hearing Rick tell her to get the sun on her left side.

"Don't leave me" She begged me.

I took her face in my hands, "Do as Rick says ok? Rick and I are gonna distract the walkers. If you want, stay here until we come back or go back to the highway the way Rick told you. You're going to be fine, just keep quiet ok?"

I hugged her close and kissed her on the check, pushing her into the spot hidden by branches and roots of trees.

I glanced up at a groan, to see the two walkers, now joined my two more.

"Rick! We need to split up again."

"Come back this way to see if Sophia's still here then get straight back to the highway. Do not use your gun unless absolutely necessary." He said, squeezing my shoulder.

I nodded once, before running in the opposite direction of Rick, shouting at the walkers to follow me.

Two began following and I pushed my legs as hard as I could, trying to put as much distant as possible between us.

I knelt behind a tree, listening as leaves and twigs snapped from the other side of it. I peeked round to see one of the walkers standing with its back to me and without hesitation, jumped from behind the tree stabbing my knife through the back of its head.

I glanced around quickly, a nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach when I couldn't see the other walker. I walked as quietly as I could heading back in the direction I came from when I could hear moaning. I didn't have much time to register where it was coming from when the other walker stepped out from a tree beside me, hands grabbing at the sleeve of my jacket.

"Jesus!" I yelled, heart thumping rapidly at the shock. With shaking hands I thrust the knife through the walker's eye repeatedly, blood splashing back on my face and clothes.

The walker dropped with a thud and taking a quick look round to ensure there were no others headed back to the river.

By the time I got there Sophia was gone, so I hoped Rick had gotten here first and taken her back. Remembering what Rick said, I kept the sun to my left and let out a sigh of relief when I made it back to the highway. I climbed up the slope, seeing everyone gathered round with a hopeful expression on their face, Carol weeping when she saw me.

"You made it." I said to Rick, who pulled me into a hug after helping me over the fence.

I glanced around for Abby, seeing her with Dale and ran over to her pulling her into my arms, "Are you ok sweetie?"

She nodded, burying her head, "I was scared momma but I was quiet like Dale said"

"Oh you're so brave" I said to her, running my hand through her curls. "Thankyou Dale" I said pulling him into a hug.

"Where's Sophia?" Carol sobbed

I looked around in confusion, noticing everyone was here but Sophia, "I thought she was here"

The group all held saddened looks on their faces, "I don't understand, I got to the spot we left her at and she wasn't there. I thought maybe you got her" I said to Rick.

He shook his head, looking sick, "I thought the same about you"

I felt tears stinging my eyes as I realised what that meant. Sophia was still out there, lost in the woods by herself and I couldn't help but to feel guilty.

"We'll go look for her. I'll see if I can track where she went. We'll get her back in no time" Daryl said.

"Please just find my baby!" Carol sobbed into Lori's arms.

We watched as Rick and Daryl went back into the woods before Dale brought me to the RV, "We need you to check on T-Dog, he cut himself up pretty badly"

Pretty badly was an understood him, I dread to think how much blood T-Dog lost. After washing up I held a towel over the wound, applying pressure while also applying pressure on the artery in his arm, which helps slow down the bleeding.

When the bleeding was under control, I found the smaller bag of medical supplies I had given Dale. I gave him some morphine for the pain and after I put on some disposable gloves, was able to disinfect the area, stitch up the wound and wrap it in gauze.

I left him lying up at the bench with a glass of water and some pain killers and checked in on Abby who was sitting on the bed colouring.

"Momma where did Sophia go?" She asked

I sighed, sitting down on the bed beside her, "She just went for a walk and got lost. But Daryl and Rick are going to find her"

"But Daryl can't rescue her! The prince rescues the princess and you're his princess, not Sophia!"

I laughed at her, "Daryl's only helping Rick that's all"

"Good, he still has to be your prince or he will be in big trouble"

Shaking my head at her, I left her to her colouring and went to find Dale.

"How is he?"

"Well I cleaned and stitched the wound but I don't know just how infected his blood is, the only thing I have for him his painkillers and we would really need antibiotics. We need to keep an eye on him."

I walked over Carol who was standing at the railing and wrapped an arm around her.

"She'll be fine Carol, she couldn't have gotten far"

"It's getting dark though, she can't be out there by herself in the dark!"

Daryl and Rick appeared then, without Sophia.

"Oh god no, you didn't find her?" Carol cried

"Her trail went cold, we'll pick it up again first light."

"Is that blood?" She asked pointing at Daryl's trousers.

Rick sighed, "We took down a walker"

Carol began gasping for air, so I got her to sit down on the rail.

"It wasn't anywhere near Sophia?"

"How the hell could you tell that?" Andrea snapped.

"Because we cut the son o'bitch open and checked."

"How could you two just leave her out there to begin with?" She snapped, looking between Rick and I.

"Don't you start blaming us" I said beginning to feel angry.

"Those walkers were on us, more arrived, we had to draw them off" Rick tried to explain

I tried reaching for her hand but she snatched it away before I could, "Carol, it was the only chance Sophia had. We couldn't have dealt with the walkers and try and protect her. Hiding her was the only thing we could do."

"Amber's right Carol, you have to understand, we had no other choice"

"Nobody's doubting that" Shane reassured us.

"My little girl got left in the woods" She sobbed turning her head away from us.

My heart broke for her, I knew I'd be out of my mind with worry if I lost Abby, but for her to blame Rick and I really hurt.

Rick sighed before turning and beginning to walk off.

"Rick-"

He squeezed my shoulder and shook his head, walking away from the group.

I could see it in his eyes he felt guilty.

I turned back to the group to see them staring at me. Most of them only looked sad, not as if they were judging but I turned away from them anyway.

_Was _it our fault?

That's all I could think about has I scavenged through the cars, finally finding a tent for Abby and I. Everyone else had one so I thought it couldn't hurt that we have one too. I doubt we'd be sleeping in the cars all the time.

By nightfall a few people were getting settled for the night and I was getting Abby ready for bed in the RV when Carol walked in. There were two cots in the sleeping quarters, one that Dale had kindly given up for Abby and the other one I assumed would be occupied by Carol.

I ignored her, feeling it best not to say anything in case I upset her and continued tucking Abby in to bed, making sure her teddy was with her.

"Goodnight sweetie" I said, kissing her on the forehead.

"Night momma" She said through a large yawn, closing her eyes and snuggling deeper into the covers.

I was about to leave the room when Carol's voice stopped me, "I'm sorry".

I turned to her, seeing the saddened look on her face but not saying anything.

"For blaming you and Rick. I know it wasn't your fault. You didn't cause Sophia to run into the woods like that. I was just angry and frightened. Thankyou for going after her like that" She said.

I sighed before pulling her into my arms, "It's ok. I couldn't not go after her, she's like a little sister to me. You know how much you and her mean to me. She's going to be just fine. Sophia's a smart girl. We'll continue looking for her first thing in the morning. Get some rest if you can" I said smiling at her before leaving the RV.

Andrea and Dale were sitting on top keeping watch although there seemed to be some tension between them. I climbed up to join them, sitting down on one of the seats in between them.

"Are you ok?" I asked, referring to the incident earlier with the walker that Dale told me about.

She nodded, "It was a close call but I'm alright now"

It was silent between us, my mind elsewhere.

"You know you aren't to blame" She said breaking the silence.

I knew what she was referring to.

I sighed, "But I left her there. At the time it was all I could do but maybe things would be different now if I hadn't"

"Yeah you're right things would be different. You'd probably both be dead." She said, turning in her seat to look at me. "You risked your life chasing after her, and then you risked your life by taking the walkers away from her. There was nothing else you could have done."

"Andrea's right" Dale said, "If you stayed with her and tried to take on the walkers, they could have gotten to her or she could have run away again while you were distracted. You and Rick did the right thing."

I shrugged, still not quite believing them. "Well we'll find her tomorrow and she'll be just fine" I said, trying to reassure myself more than the others.

Dale wrapped an arm around my shoulder, "Everything will work out"

"I feel sorry for Rick though, he'll probably get an earful from _her_" Andrea whispered, pointing in the direction of their car, "In her eyes he never seems to do anything right."

"Hmm, if I had a husband who I found, after thinking he was dead, I'd be a lot happier to see him than she is" I said

"We all know why that is" She said, "Shane".

I snorted, "I knew it! I always see them two giving each other weird looks; I had my suspicions but thanks for confirming it. How is it, at the end of the world she gets two men and gets laid more than any of us?"

Andrea roared with laughter, "Because she's a whore?" she said a little too loudly

We giggled, not caring how bitchy we seemed. "Girls! Shh!" Dale said, trying not to laugh as he scolded us.

"Sorry _dad_" I giggled.

After sitting with them a few more minutes, I got down from the RV and picked up one of the torches I had found in one of the cars. I had also found a belt that tied round your waist containing several knives which I took as well, figuring they'd come in handy.

I climbed over the railing and down the slope, slowly walking through the woods shining my touch to help me see. As I walked I used my knife to make small markings in a few of the trees to help me find my way back if I got lost. I wasn't going to go far but wanted to have a look to see if I could find Sophia.

I got to the river where we last left her and my heart sunk when I noticed she wasn't there. Some part of me hoped she would have went back to the last place we left her.

"Ya shouldn't be out here by yerself" A voice said, causing me to whirl round and grip my knife in my hand.

I let out a huge breath when I saw Daryl standing there, leaning against a tree with his arms crossed.

I ran a hand down my face as I waited for my heart to slow down, "Jesus Daryl"

He smirked before pushing himself off the tree and walking over to stand beside me, "What are ya doin'?"

I shrugged, "Thought I'd see if Sophia might have come back. How'd you even know I was here?"

"Saw ya tryna sneak away, plus the cuts in the trees was a good indicator. Good idea by the way" He said

I felt myself blushing slightly at his praise, "Was that a compliment ?"

"Dixon's don't do compliments" He said.

I smirked, "Right."

"Wha? We don't!"

"Ok sure whatever!" I laughed.

We decided to head back, walking at a slow pace, just enjoying the quiet.

"Ya care 'bout that lil' girl a lot? Must do to run after her like that." he asked.

"Yeah I do. I'm worried sick about her"

"She'll be fine, we'll find her. Girl has people lookin' for her. I was younger than her when I got lost in the woods and had to find my own way back" He said

I looked at him in shock, "That's horrible. What about your family?"

He shrugged, "Da was off god knows where and Merle was in juvie. No big deal" He dismissed it, as if a young boy being on his own was no big deal.

Although it wasn't much information, and by the way Daryl was speaking, he wasn't comfortable talking about it anymore, it gave me a bit of insight into his childhood. A sad childhood I guessed. I had seen children in the hospital before with families who didn't bother much with them but at least we got them help. Daryl seemed to be one of those who never did get any help.

We made it back to the highway and Daryl helped me over the railing.

"Go get some sleep, early start in the morning" He said, leaning up against a car

"Yeah you too, goodnight Daryl" I replied before heading towards the RV.

"G'night" he said watching me as I went.

I lay down on the floor of the RV between Carol and Abby, sending a short silent prayer to god that we'd find Sophia safe and well tomorrow.


	16. Guilt, prayin' and a stranger on a horse

**This chapter is dedicated to punkrockpancake for being totally awesome and making my night! **I felt really bad for Shane, I actually really liked him but I completely blame Lori for his downfall. I know he done some bad stuff but she really hurt him Would you read a Shane/OC fic by any chance? Actually considering writing one lol I'm so glad you like Amber and her personality, I didn't want it to be too extreme but she is caring and wants the best for everyone and also has that rebellious/don't mess with me kind of side to her! Yeah their music taste is also mine, thankyou As for the characters and relationships I'm glad you like that too. It's hard not just let Daryl and Amber be loved up already but it's going to take a bit of time, although to be honest I might just hurry it up soon. After all, look how quick Maggie and Glen jumped into a relationship. Daryl is more comfortable with her than the rest because of her relationship with Merle, he feels he can talk to her more and that she understands him and the fact he had met her briefly before the world ended. I'm glad I'm getting the characters spot on, I've been worried in case I'm making them seem completely different to the show! I'll maybe get Dale to tell us a few more stories about him and his wife in the future Dale sees his wife in Amber, her looks and personality and because Dale is like a grandpa to everyone, those two will get close. I mean who doesn't want to get close to grandpa Dale, he's so cute haha Daryl's just in denial about giving compliments and Amber knows that lol Thank you so much again, really loved that review!

**Thanks also to: Flannigan's, Dalonega Noquisi, MAR76, Maddy120296, XxXLIFEafterDEATHXxX, kunfupandalover, LiquidLuck007, halodoll89 – **yeah when Dale looks at Daryl and Amber he sees similarities to him and his wife. Abby will love Daryl in no time lol, **FanFicGirl10 – **There were actually more walkers arrived, that's why Rick and Amber split up so that they could pull the walkers in different directions and away from Sophia. But yeah I hated that about Carol in the show, blaming other people and she never even looked for Sophia!

**And to everyone that has followed/favourited! **

**/**

"These aren't the kind of weapons we need" Andrea complained, "What about the guns?"

"We don't need you people poppin' off bullets at the slightest thing that moves. Say a herd walks by and hears it. That's game over for all of us. Only Rick and I are carrying, now you need to get the hell over that" Shane snapped.

I walked over to dale, handing over my gun. This morning I was debating whether to go out or not. As much as I wanted to go look for Sophia at the same time I didn't want to leave Abby but after a lot of reassurance from the group that she'd be fine with Dale, and after Carol saying Sophia would love me to be one of the first people she sees, I decided to join the group.

At times it was hard to make decisions, I wasn't used to having a child to look after and was often worried that I'd make the wrong choices.

"Are you sure she's going to be fine?"

Dale put a hand on my shoulder, "Honey stop worrying. I can look after her just fine. I thought I proved that yesterday?"

I nodded, "I know you can, I don't doubt that for a second"

"Plus she's looking forward to spending time with me. She told you herself only this morning."

I entered the RV seeing Abby sitting up at the table eating a packet of sweets that Dale had found, every so often offering her teddy bear some. I leant against the counter watching her. She had grown so much over the past while and although I couldn't remember the exact date of her birthday, I knew her fourth birthday would be coming up in August and assumed that was in the next month or so, not that anyone had been keeping track of the days.

"Hi momma" She said with a mouthful, swinging her legs back and forth.

I laughed at her, "You enjoying those sweetie?"

She nodded, "Yep! Dale said I could have them all"

I pushed myself off the counter and walked over to her, "You be sure to thank him. Now you be a good girl while I'm gone ok?" I told her pulling her into a hug.

"I'm always good!" She smiled

I laughed, "I know you are"

When I got out of the RV I slipped past Dale who was getting an earful from Andrea.

"I didn't want your blood on my hands, that's the only reason I'm still here. After Amy died all I wanted was to get out of this endless nightmare my way, not torn apart my mindless, drooling things and you took that from me." She hissed

The whole group was silent, nobody wanting to intervene and not really knowing what to say.

Dale sighed, "I don't know what to say"

"I'm not your little girl, I'm not your wife and I sure as hell am not your problem. That's all there is to say" She spat shoving past him.

I glared at her, although I liked her I could feel myself become angry at her. I understand that Dale took her decision away from her, but he done it because he cared for her. She was too blind to see that, and to rip him apart like that in front of everybody was the wrong thing to do. She could have at least waited for somewhere more private.

"If looks could kill" I heard mumbled near me and turned to see Daryl looking at me, an eyebrow raised, referring to the death glare I was sending Andrea's way.

I smirked at him and shrugged slightly, before walking over to Dale, who looked pretty heartbroken. I pulled him into a hug, "Don't take what she says to heart too much. She's angry right now but she'll soon see that you care for her."

"I hope so" He mumbled, squeezing me back.

"And if she doesn't, I'll knock some sense into her" I smiled

He smiled back, although it didn't quite reach his eyes, "Behave. And be careful out there. Don't worry about Abby, she'll be fine with T-Dog and I. Just bring Sophia back to us."

"I'll do my best"

/

I crept along beside Rick, Daryl leading the way when we came across a tent.

Daryl, Rick and Shane went ahead while the rest of us stayed back. Like Daryl had said, there could by anything hiding in there.

Rick called for Carol and she brought me along with her.

"Call out softly. If she's in there, your voice is the first she'll want to hear" Rick said

Carol called out for Sophia while Daryl stood in front of the tent; knife raised in case something other than Sophia came out.

When there was no response he slipped inside, Rick and Shane coughing from the smell coming from the tent.

I could smell it from where I stood, death and rotting flesh.

Daryl came back out, "It ain't her"

I wrapped my arm around Carol's shoulders as she looked defeated, "Hey, we'll find her. Don't give up now. She has a group of great people looking for her and she's smart, she'll stay safe" I reassured her.

It was silent for only a moment when the next thing we heard was church bells.

We started running, stopping for a moment to try and pinpoint the direction the noise was coming from.

"If we can hear that then Sophia can too" Carol said, excited at the thought

"Well somebody's ringing those bells"

"Maybe someone found her and is trying to call to us?" Andrea suggested

"Or maybe it's her" Rick said

"Problem is, if we can hear them so can walkers" I added in.

"She's right" Daryl agreed, "You people best keep your eyes open"

Rick pointed in the direction he thought he could hear the bells and we all ran together, still keeping an eye out for walkers. When we broke through the trees a small white church sat ahead of us, but I had a sinking feeling when I looked at the building.

"That can't be it. No steeples or bells" Shane said, confirming my suspicions.

We went towards the building anyway, creeping up the stairs slowly. Daryl and Rick opened the doors slowly, cautious of what might be inside.

Three walkers sat in the pews, Daryl, Rick and Shane taking care of them quickly. I winced as I watched Rick take out his anger on one of the dead.

"Hey JC, takin' any requests?" Daryl said, staring up at the statue of Jesus.

The sounds of the bells rang again and Glen and I turned and ran out of the church, the others following, only to find out it was on a speaker.

I felt my heart drop, knowing Sophia wasn't here and probably hadn't made it down here at all.

"I'm going back inside" Carol mumbled.

Some of us followed her in, I sat on the back pew, turning so my legs were lying across it and I could see Daryl, Glen and Rick leaning against the wall to my right. We stayed back to give her some privacy while she prayed, Lori deciding to go up and join her.

"It amazes me, how people can still be so faithful at a time like this" I said to Daryl, watching Carol at the front of the church.

"Prayin' ain't goin' to do her any good" He said

"But maybe it's all she has" I shrugged, "Maybe with her believing in God, it keeps her going, it's what has kept her and Sophia going for so long and I guess it's something from her old life that she still has, some normalcy I guess" I shrugged

Glen spoke from beside me, "Do you believe in God?"

I shrugged again, "I don't know what to believe. I just can't see the world coming to be without having a creator but at the same time I don't understand how an all loving God could let something like this happen. I don't know really, I guess I never gave it a lot of thought. But to be honest with you, this whole thing right here? This is hell."

Glen sighed, "That sure is true. Nothing could be worse than this right?"

"Sure as hell hope not" Daryl mumbled.

I turned my head, and looked up at the statue of Jesus and sighed, feeling my eyes sting with tears as I thought of Sophia. I kept seeing her scared face as we made her hide, replaying constantly in my mind. It didn't matter what anyone said, I felt guilty. If it had only been the original two walkers I could have stayed with her and let Rick handle it, but with two more on the scene, I knew Rick couldn't take on all four by himself. We done what we could at the time, but I still couldn't help wondering if I had done something different, perhaps Sophia would be with us now.

"She's so fearful, so young in her way" I heard Carol pray, "She hasn't had a chance. Praying for Ed's death was a sin. Please don't let this be my punishment. Let her be safe, alive and safe"

Rick and I glanced at each other; the guilt swimming in his eyes that I knew mirrored my own. I let a few tears fall as I watched Carol on her knees, begging for her daughter and felt sick to my stomach knowing that I had put her in that situation, even though it was unintentional.

"Please Lord, punish me however you want but show mercy on her" She sobbed

I got up from the bench and raced outside, making round to the side of the church before throwing up. The fear, the guilt and worry had built up so much I had made myself physically sick. As I sat there with my head on my knees I couldn't help imaging her, such a small, gentle girl so scared out in those woods by herself. Was she safe and hiding? Were those _things_ anywhere near her? I hoped to God she at least knew we would be out there looking for her, that she didn't think Rick and I had purposefully left her there.

"Ya alright?" I heard, lifting my head up to see Daryl looking down at me through squinted eyes, a bottle of water held out in his hand.

"Thanks" I took it gratefully, washing my mouth out.

"Ya best stop feelin' guilty for somethin' that ain't yer fault" He said

I scoffed, "Have you seen the state of Carol? She shouldn't be on her knees begging for her daughter's life. Sophia is out there, god knows where because of what Rick and I done. She pleaded with me not to leave her and I did anyway. Of course it's my fault"

He sighed, crouching down, "Nobody blames you or Rick. You two are livin' with guilt for no reason. You had no other choice but to leave her. Everyone can see that. We're gonna locate the little girl and you and Rick will see how stupid ya are with all this blaming yerselves shit"

He stood up, sticking his hand out, "Let's go"

I sighed, putting my hand in his and letting him pull me up.

"Ya gonna have yer head in the game? Can't be lettin' ya out in the woods if you can't focus" He said

I shook my head, wiping at my eyes "Yes Daryl, I'll have my head in the game"

"Good, like I said before, can't be savin' some damsel in distress" He said smirking

"Funny that Dixon, I thought with you being my prince and all it's your job to rescue your princess"

"Don't see many princesses with tattoos, guns and a belt full of knives." He said, an eyebrow raised

"And you don't usually see too many crossbow wielding, whiskey drinking Princes' shooting zombies either"

"Guess this is one fucked up fairytale" He said.

I laughed at him, "Yeah I suppose it is"

He smirked, "And there she is"

I looked at him in confusion, "Who?"

"The Amber we all know and love. Not that one from a minute ago"

I raised an eyebrow at him, "Love? My my Daryl you don't waste much time do you?"

"Shut up and accept the compliment" He muttered as we walked towards the group.

"What happened to 'Dixon's don't do compliments'?" I said, mimicking him.

"That had to be the shittiest American accent I have ever heard" he said, shaking his head.

I pouted, "I thought that was pretty darn good, and stop avoiding the question!"

"I ain't avoiding anything" he denied.

I scowled, "Whatever"

I heard Glen snicker, "Ah young love", only to clear his throat when Daryl turned to him, "I didn't say anything!" He said, hands raised in front of him.

Shane walked over then, "Daryl you're in charge. Rick and I are gonna stay here a bit, search the area for an hour or so"

"Splittin' us up, yer sure?" He asked

"We sure. We'll catch up"

"I wanna come to, I'm her friend"

After Lori agreed, Rick walked over offering her his gun, "I'm not leaving you unharmed" She said.

"I got a spare one" Daryl said, handing it over to Lori causing Andrea to scoff.

The group began walking off and Rick came over to me, pulling me into a hug, "You alright?"

"Apart from living with the guilt, yeah. You?" I asked, returning the hug

"Make two of us" He sighed, rubbing a hand down his face.

"You be careful ok?" I said

"Same to you. We'll catch up later" He said squeezing my hand before heading towards the church.

I turned to Carl, "Now you look after Shane and your dad ok?"

He nodded, "I will"

"And be careful yourself" I said ruffling his hair.

I nodded to Shane, "See you later"

"Will do"

/

We walked on for a while before Carol sat down on a log to rest, "So this is it, this is the plan?"

"Carrying knives and pointy sticks. I see _you_ have a gun" Andrea directed towards Lori, jealousy dripping from every word.

I rolled my eyes, leaning against a tree opposite from Daryl.

"Why you want it? Here take it" Lori said, pushing it towards Andrea, "I'm sick of the looks you're giving me, all of you" She said, sitting down as Andrea took the gun.

"I can't imagine what you're going through, if I could I'd do anything to stop it but you have got to stop blaming Rick" She said to Carol. Lori looked up at me too, "And at Amber. I see it in your face every time you look at them. You might tell them that you don't blame them but deep down some part of you still does. Amber didn't hesitate for a second, she ran after your daughter, Rick doing the same thing. I don't think any of us would have done that or make the hard decisions they had to or that anybody could have done any differently"

I raised my eyebrows in shock, surprised that Lori would even stick up for me.

"You all look to him yet blame him. You think you can do this without him then go right ahead" She said.

I was vaguely aware as Carol glanced over her shoulder at me, but didn't look in her direction, instead staring down at the floor in thought. I know she said she was sorry for blaming us on the highway but did she really accuse us of being the reason her daughter was missing? I wouldn't blame her if she did, hell I blame myself, but I'd rather she would tell me than lie about everything being ok.

"Amber?" I looked up to see Daryl standing in front of me, "Let's go"

I glanced around noticing the rest of the group walking on ahead, Andrea keeping a safe distance from Lori who was now holding the gun again.

We walked on ahead slightly, Carol slowing down to walk alongside me.

She sighed, "I'm sorry, really. I shouldn't blame you or Rick. I know you done all you could for Sophia. You didn't have to run after her and risk your life like you did, but you did because you care for her, I see that."

I looked at her, "You should I would never do anything to hurt her. The last thing I wanted was for this to happen but Rick and I had no other choice. More walkers had joined us, we had to hide Sophia in order to protect her. If you blame me I wish you would say something instead of lying about it. Scream at me, hit me, I deserve it. But don't be saying sorry for blaming us if you don't mean it"

"But I do mean it. I'm sorry for ever thinking you and Rick were at fault. And you need to see it isn't your fault. You can't be living with the guilt like that"

I shook my head, "If anything happens to her I will never forgive myself"

We walked on in silence pausing when we heard a noise in the distance.

"That was a gunshot!" Lori said, "Why only one?"

"Maybe they took down a walker?" Daryl suggested

"Don't you dare patronise me. They wouldn't have used a gun on one walker" She snapped

"And don't be such a bitch. You asked a question, he was giving you a suggestion" I scowled at her.

"Shouldn't they have caught up by now?" Carol asked

"There's nothin' we can do about it anyway. Can't be runnin' rounds woods chasin' echoes"

"So what do we do?"

"Same as we have been. Beat the bush for Sophia, work our way back to the highway" Daryl said, continuing on.

"I'm sorry for what you're going through. I know how you feel" Andrea said.

"Suppose you do. Thank you. The thought of her out here by herself, it's the not knowing that kills me. I just keep hoping and praying she doesn't end up like Amy" Carol said, not thinking

She soon realised her mistake when she saw the look on Andrea's face, apologising over and over.

Andrea shook her head, "We're all hoping and praying with you for what it's worth"

Daryl scoffed, "I'll tell you what it's worth, not a damn thing. It's a waste of time all this hopin' and prayin'. We're gonna locate that little girl and she's gonna be just fine" He said to Carol.

"Am I the only one zen around here? Good lord" He said walking off as he shook his head.

Glen and I sniggered at him as we walked on.

One minute we were walking in silence, the next we heard screaming not too far away.

I whirled around to see Andrea wasn't behind us, "Andrea?!" I yelled.

We ran towards her screams only to see a woman on a horse, "Lori, Lori Grimes?"

Lori stepped forward, "That's me"

"You have to come now, Rick sent me. There's been an accident. Carl was shot, he's still alive, my dad's a doctor, but you need to come quickly."

Without hesitating Lori gave me her bag, jumping up onto the horse.

"Hey! You can't get on there, we don't even know her" Daryl argued

The woman turned to us, "Rick said you had others on the highway? Go two miles down the road, there'll be a dirt road with the mailbox that says Greene" was all she said before turning the house and going back the way she came.

It was only then I noticed the walker lying at my feet, when he got up moaning, causing me to jump back.

"Ugh shut up" Daryl hissed, firing an arrow into it's head.

After checking to make sure Andrea was alright we rushed back to the highway.

/

I looked over T-Dogs wound, grimacing at the discolouration of his veins. Dale had said he seemed out of his mind while we were away and it was obvious now the wound was badly infected.

I walked over to the rest of the group, watching Carol hold Abby, "I'm not doing it. What if she comes back and we're gone?"

Andrea agreed, "If Sophia made her way back and we weren't here that would be awful"

"Ok, I say tomorrow morning will be soon enough to pull up stakes. We can rig a big sign tonight and leave some supplies. I'll stay with the RV" Daryl said.

"If the RV is staying so am I" Dale said.

Carol looked at them both, "Thank you, both of you"

"I'll stay too"

Dale shook his head, "Not you glen. You can take Carol's Cherokee"

"Me? Why is it always me?" He complained

"We need to find this place but most important you need to get T-Dog there. That's not an option, that cut has gone from bad to worse. He has a very serious blood infection"

I walked over to Dale and Daryl, "You're right, it's really infected. We need antibiotics for him immediately and plenty of fluid. The last thing we need his him getting septicaemia. He's already starting to show signs of confusion; we need to keep an eye on him. If his blood pressure drops he could go into shock."

Daryl walked over to Merle's motorbike, before coming back with a bag full of pills.

"My brother's stash. Why didn't you say somethin' earlier?" He said rummaging through, before finding what he needed and throwing the container at me, "Doxycycline and not the generic stuff either"

I looked at him in shock, "What the hell was he doing with this?"

"Merle got the clap on occasion" He shrugged as if it were no big deal.

I snorted, "Well thank god for Merle's clap"

I grabbed a bottle of water before taking two capsules and bringing them to T-Dog, "It's your lucky day, take these"

I waited to make sure he had swallowed them before bringing him inside the RV to lie down.

After an hour or so we had a sign wrote up for Sophia, bottles of water and cans of food sitting on the bonnet of a car for her.

"Glen, I'm going with you to the farm. T-Dog needs help, I can offer assist with Carl and I can't let Abby stay out here another night"

"That's a good idea, Rick might need you" Dale said

I got Abby buckled into the car and put the medical bag in the back with her.

I went over to say goodbye to everyone as Glen and T-Dog got into the car.

"You just get T-Dog into better health and we'll see you tomorrow" Dale said, pulling me into a hug

"I'll do my best, you be careful out here"

I looked at Carol, "I'll keep an eye out for Sophia, in case she finds her way to the place"

"Thank you" She said giving me a hug as well.

I waved to Andrea as her and Carol stepped in to the RV. Dale climbed up to keep watch and Daryl followed me to the car, reaching in to tickle Abby under the chin, "You look after your mom kid"

She giggled, "I will"

I turned to him, smirking, "I suppose there are too many people around to give you a hug? Don't want to ruin your image"

He scoffed, "Hug me all ya like, doesn't mean I'm gonna hug ya back"

I rolled my eyes, wrapping my arms around his waist, laughing when he gripped his crossbow tighter, "I don't have cooties you know, you can put your arms around me"

I heard him sigh before quickly putting his arm around me and squeezing, before stepping back and biting at his thumb.

I shook my head, "Don't worry, Glen will just pretend he didn't see that."

"See what?" I heard Glen say sarcastically.

"Told you." I said before reaching up and pecking Daryl on the cheek, "See ya tomorrow Dixon"

/

**Just referring to Amber earlier, about making herself physically sick with worry, it can happen! Happened to me once. If you're interested.. it was years ago, I was about 12 and I had been talking to this little girl who's brother I used to play with and I told her I'd be back. I went up to my house, next minute there was a knock on her door and her brother was asking if I had seen her because nobody could find her. Long story short we searched everywhere for hours and I felt so guilty because I thought if I had stayed with her, maybe she wouldn't have disappeared. I made myself physically sick. Turns out her dad came home from work, saw her playing outside and without telling anyone, brought her out for dinner. What a douche haha So at least nothing happened her, thank god but still, was not a nice feeling at all!**


	17. Meeting the Greene's

**Thanks to: kunfupandalover, MAR76-**I'm really sorry to hear that **, Mariana Lestrange, FanFicGirl10-**don't worry there will be NO caryl romance at all. This is an ambryl romance and nobody's getting in the way of that :P I hate the thoughts of Carol and Daryl getting together ewww, **Dalonega Noquisi, punkrockpancake-** I'm going by the show so Merle will make an appearance. I'm continuing the story for as long as the show goes really. I'm still undecided whether to keep it all one story or split it into sequels. You're right, time doesn't really mean anything now, so I'm just gonna let Daryl and Amber go for it soon, whether it seems to soon or not lol But that wee chat they had at the church helped, especially with them joking around with each other. Daryl is comfortable with her and she's bringing out his softer side without her even realising it! As for Rick and Amber, they see each other as family and I absolutely adore Rick so I just had to make him and Amber close :P  
**BlooDsucKkerR69-** Welcome! Aw I am so sorry haha I know how you feel! Couldn't resist the whole McManus and Doc thing lol Thank you so much for commenting! Glad you like it so far

**And to everyone that has followed and put this as their favourite. You're all great!**

**This is just a filler, not much really happens and no Daryl :'(**

/

It wasn't long before we reached the house, the three of us walking cautiously up the stairs as I held Abby, noticing all the blood on the porch.

"So uh do we ring the doorbell, looks like people live here" Glen said stupidly.

I snorted, "No shit Sherlock"

"You lock the gate?" A voice said, causing us to jump.

The girl from earlier sat on a chair outside, smiling at us.

"Oh hi again, we met before, well you know sort of, briefly" Glen stumbled over his words causing me to bite my lip trying not to laugh.

"My names Amber, this is Glen, T-Dog and Abby" I said holding out my hand.

"Maggie" She said taking it. "Come on in and I'll make you all some tea"

I laid Abby down on the couch, covering her with the blanket thrown over the back of it before making my way with T-Dog and Glen into the room Carl was staying.

I sucked in a deep breath as I saw Carl lying there.

"Jesus Rick, Lori, I'm so sorry, I didn't realise it was this bad or I would have been here sooner" I said going to stand in between where they sat, squeezing both their shoulders.

"It's fine, you're here now. Thanks all of you for coming" He said

I looked to the bed to see an elderly man with a stethoscope, "Is there anything I can do to help? I'm a nurse"

He stuck his hand out, shaking my own "Hershel Greene. And at the minute not really. I'm waiting on your man and mine to come back with supplies and a respirator"

"My man?"

"Shane and Hershel's man Otis, the one that shot Carl accidentally is away to the school a few miles from here to get supplies so Hershel can cut Carl open and get the remaining fragments of the bullet out" Rick said, not looking away from his son.

"But if they don't get back soon, we have a choice to make" Lori said.

"Whether or not to operate without the respirator" I stated.

Hershel nodded, "We'll give you a few minutes to think about it in private" He said, before ushering us out of the room.

"I have to take a look at T-Dogs arm again but I have some supplies here, sutures, gloves, bandages pain relief, it's not much but you can take it"

Hershel took the bag, looking inside at the items, "Thank you, better than nothing right?"

/

After Hershel explained everything, including how he was technically a vet, I helped him check over Carl.

"Who's been giving him the blood?"

"Rick has, they're both A+, but he's been giving too much as it is"

Carl woke up then, Lori and Rick running into the room.

"You should have seen mom" He said weakly

"What sweetheart?" She asked him, running a hand through his hair

"The deer, s'pretty-"

He stopped talking then, eyes closing.

I jumped up ready to do CPR when his body started convulsing.

"Don't touch him! It's a seizure" Hershel said to Lori

"You can't stop it?" She said disbelieving.

"Lori, you must never hold someone down or restrain them when they're going through the seizure. He'll come out of it himself" I reassured her.

Shortly after he stopped, Hershel checking his pulse, "His body isn't getting enough blood, he needs another transfusion"

"Ok, I'm ready"

"No Rick, you've given enough as it is. If you're blood pressure or volume drops too much, you could go into shock and cardiac arrest" I said

"But-"

"No buts. Having one person to look after is bad enough, with only a vet and a nurse. The last thing we need is you nearly dying on us. I'll give him my blood."

"What are you?" Hershel asked, getting the equipment.

"It's your lucky day, O+"

"What does that mean? I thought you had to be the same blood type?" Lori asked.

I sat down in the seat beside Carl's bed, letting Hershel hook me up.

"In your blood you have antigens and antibodies that protect your body. If I was blood group B, for example and gave my blood to Carl his A antibodies would fight against my B antigens and that can be dangerous for him. But I'm O+ meaning I don't have any antigens at all, but I have anti A and B antibodies so my blood can be given safely to anyone who is also positive."

"So it's completely safe?" Lori asked, tears dripping down her face as Rick held her.

"Completely. I wouldn't have offered if it was cause him any harm"

"Thank you" She said, turning her face into Rick's chest.

Rick reached around her and grasped my hand, not needing to say anything.

"You're welcome" I said to him, "That's what family's for"

While Carl was receiving the blood transfusion, we sat and had small talk when I noticed Rick's gun wasn't in the holster.

"Hey Rick, where's your gun? Not like you not to have it"

"I gave it to Otis to use in case he needed it while he's at the school"

I nodded, "Shouldn't they be back by now?"

Rick didn't need to say anything; the look he shot towards the window confirmed it. They probably should have been back before now.

/

We were about to operate on Carl when Rick heard a car pull up and raced to the window.

"It's Shane!"

Patricia stayed with Carl while the rest of us ran out to meet Shane and Otis, only to find Shane by himself.

Hershel grabbed the bags begging us not to say anything to Patricia until after we had sorted out Carl. Before turning to go in I watched as Shane told Rick what happened, eyes shifting nervously from side to side as he hopped from one foot to the other.

As I watched him, I couldn't shake off the feeling that something wasn't right but didn't give it much more thought, turning and racing in to help Hershel and Patricia with Carl.

/

It seemed to take forever but we had finally finished, leaving Carl comfortable in the bed. Hershel and I stepped outside to tell the parents.

"He seems to have stabilized" Hershel said, wiping his hands off a towel.

Rick thanked and hugged him first then came over to me hugging me as well.

"Thank you so much. I've lost track of how many times you've saved my ass and now you've helped save my boy" He said holding my face in his hands, tears falling down his cheeks.

I wiped them away from his face, pulling him into a hug, "You don't need to thank me. I told you, you're family, you're like my big brother" I smiled, "And we do anything for family right?"

He pulled back, "Right, sis" He smiled.

Lori walked up the steps hugging me too, "Thank you, both of you. I can never repay you for that"

I shook my head, "You don't need to"

"How am I going to tell Patricia about Otis?" Hershel asked.

"I'll go with you, Lori you go to Carl" Rick said, before the three of them walked inside.

I walked down the steps slowly towards Shane "Are you ok? When don't you come inside?"

"Yeah yeah I'm fine, I'm fine" He said nodding his head several times.

I raised my eyebrows in disbelief, he clearly _wasn't_ fine.

"Let's just go inside, yeah? I can take a look at your ankle after you get a shower"

"Yeah ok" was all he said as I helped him in.

When he walked off, I went into the living room just as Abby began fussing.

I picked her up, cradling her in my arms and made sure the blanket was securely wrapped around her, before stepping outside and sitting on the rocking chair on the porch. Despite it being late at night it was still warm out.

Abby whimpered in her sleep, and I rocked us in the chair shushing her.

"Momma?" She whimpered

"I'm right here baby. I'm not going anywhere" I reassured, running my hand through her curls

I began singing to her, hoping it would relax her enough to go back to sleep.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey. You'll never know dear, how much I love you. So please don't take, my sunshine away. The other night-" I stopped singing, looking down to notice Abby had fallen back into a deep sleep.

I smiled down at her, kissing her on the forehead. This little girl here in my arms was my sunshine in this bleak world, and looking around at Hershel's farm, untouched from the cruel world out there, I hoped that this little bit of paradise would be the sunshine all of us needed.


	18. Shane

**Thanks to: MAR76, kunfupandalover, FanFicGirl10, Rachel, halodoll89, Mariana Lestrange, steffy2106, shika93, ScreamBecauseNoOneIsListening & pony832987.**

**Thanks for following **

**I'm getting impatient with myself so soon enough Amber and Daryl are going to take the step towards being more than friends. It's hard to try and keep it at a realistic pace but at the end of the day it's the end of the world, every day isn't guaranteed (well not that every day is in real life either) and time doesn't mean the same thing. I think for our survivors, one day seems like a lifetime. Amber already views everyone as her family and vice versa because they've been through so much together already and will face their future together. And really Daryl and Amber's relationship won't be that rushed, just look at Glen and Maggie. If anyone deserves an award for getting into a relationship the quickest it's them haha**

**Also I hope everyone is ok with me sticking to the storyline. I know we all know what happens but apart from adding in my own bits and pieces I don't really want to change too much.**

/

Hershel was kind enough to let us stay in the spare bedrooms for the night, until the rest of the group arrived with the RV and our tents.

I was exiting the bathroom during the middle of the night, heading down the hallway to the room Abby and I were staying in when I heard talking from the room Shane was staying in directly across.

"Slowing me down. Have to save Carl. I'm sorry, Otis. Sorry" I could feel my face scrunch up in confusion, he wasn't making any sense and when he said Otis I realised straight away that he wasn't talking to someone, he must have been dreaming.

I hesitated at his door before opening it slightly and peeked in. I was slightly shocked to see all his hair shaved off but that wasn't what caught my attention. Shane was tossing in his bed, hands gripping the sheets so tightly I was surprised they hadn't ripped. He kept mumbling, the sweat was running down his head and a pained expression was etched across his face.

I walked over to sit on the edge of the bed, "Shane? Shane it's ok, wake up" I whispered, putting my hand on his.

All of a sudden his hand gripped my wrist causing me to jump in surprise.

"Let go of the bag! Let go!" He shouted, gripping my wrist tighter.

I bit my lip to stop from crying out in pain, "Shane! It's Amber, wake up!"

He jumped up then, staring right at me but it was as if he was looking through me. "I had to, for Carl. I had to!" He shouted, his grip tightening even more.

I couldn't stop the cry of pain this time and the sudden noise cause Shane to blink a few times before realising I was sitting in front of him. He let go of my wrist quickly, running a hand over his head, "I'm sorry" he croaked out.

I rubbed my wrist, trying to get rid of the ache .

I shook my head at him, placing my hand on his again, "It's fine. You were having a nightmare, shouting in your sleep. I thought it might be best to wake you."

He stiffened up avoiding my gaze, "What did you hear?"

Too much clearly. I wasn't sure whether to tell him exactly what I heard or not.

"Um nothing really, you were hard to make out" I lied, looking around the room to avoid eye contact with him. My eyes landed on his belongings and I felt shock stiffen my body when I saw Rick's gun peeking out from under an item of clothing.

Didn't Rick give that to Otis?

The air seemed to get thick with tension and I stood up to leave.

He grabbed my arm and by the look he was giving me, I knew he knew I was lying.

"You'd do anything you had to, to survive this world, to protect your daughter wouldn't you?" He stated, rather than asked, "because that's what it's about now. Survival."

I pulled my arm out from his grasp, "Yeah it is. Good night Shane" I said quickly exiting the room and rushing in to mine, leaning against the shut door.

An uneasy feeling settled in the pit of my stomach as I replayed over Shane's words from his nightmare and to what he said to me.

Shane ended up with Rick's gun, even though Otis had it. Maybe Otis had given it to him although from what Rick told me Otis only had a hunting rifle compared to the shotgun Shane had, the type they used in the force. I had no clue when it came to those types of things but I knew Shane would have had no need for a revolver like Ricks with the weapon he had.

Shane had been yelling in his sleep, apologising to Otis and also yelling for someone to let go of the bag and the way he was telling me about doing what you had to, to survive, it was almost as if he was saying it in a way to convince himself more than me.

My mind was racing as I slipped into the bed, careful not to wake Abby.

Was he saying he would do anything he had to, to survive? Just what exactly had he done to make it back here? Although I tried to convince myself that I was over reacting, I couldn't help but think that there was more to Otis' death than he was letting on.

/

The next morning a loud rumble broke the silence between us on the farm.

I smiled when I recognised the sound of Daryl's bike and dropped the shovel I had been using to help dig a grave, walking over to join Lori and Rick who were waiting on the rest of our people.

"How's Carl doing?" I asked

Lori turned to me, "He woke up and asked for Sophia. We told him she was fine to stop him from worrying and he's resting now"

"That's a good idea. If he's as stubborn as his dad he'd want to be up and out looking for her"

Lori laughed, "That's true"

"Glad to see you two finally agreeing on something." Rick said, "And I am not stubborn" he added.

"Lori and I may have gotten off on the wrong foot and disagree on some things" I agreed

"But your stubbornness is definitely something we agree on" she said.

Rick crossed his arms, "I'm not _that _stubborn" he mumbled.

I bit my lip, trying not to laugh at how much he sounded like a child right now. "We'll agree to disagree" I said before walking over to pull Dale and Carol into a hug.

"Sophia?" I asked, trying not to get my hopes up.

Carol shook her head.

I sighed, "We'll go looking for her today. I can ask Hershel and his family about the area, they could help us out"

"Thank you" She said, squeezing my hand.

"How is he?" Dale asked

"He'll pull through, thanks to Hershel and his people." Lori smiled

"And Shane, we'd have lost Carl if not for him" Rick added.

"How'd it even happen?" Dale asked as he hugged Rick.

"A hunting accident, just a stupid accident"

Everyone was being introduced to the Greene family in the living room when Daryl joined me in the kitchen, as I looked at a photo of Otis and Patricia "How were things last night?"

"Not too bad. Carl needed surgery but we had to wait for Otis and Shane to come back with supplies before we could start"

"Which one is Otis?"

I pointed to the photo.

"Where's he now?" he asked

"He didn't make it" I said watching Shane stare off in the distance.

Daryl followed my gaze before turning back to me and lifting up my hand, "What happened to your wrist?"

I looked down to see my wrist beginning to bruise from where Shane had grabbed it.

I shrugged, "Nothing"

Daryl looked at me with an eyebrow raised, "I'm not gonna stop askin' til ya tell me. What happened?"

I sighed, pulling my hand back and rubbing at my wrist, "Shane was having a nightmare and he grabbed it when I tried to wake him, that's all"

He raised an eyebrow at that, "What the hell was he dreamin' 'bout?"

"About what happened to Otis"

"And what exactly did happen?"

Making sure nobody was listening I told Daryl about last night, how Shane was acting when he came home, what he said in his sleep and to me when he was awake. By the end of it, Daryl was chewing at his thumb, his other hand clenched in a fist as he glared in Shane's direction.

"You stay the hell away from him. I knew there was somethin' 'bout him. Don't trust the man at all"

I sighed, "Look, maybe I'm just overreacting"

"You said he had Rick's gun, which was originally given to Otis. He also came back with two bags and he was shoutin' in his sleep for someone to let go of the bag. That sounds dodgy as hell right there Amber. Then he starts sayin' shit about doin' anythin' to survive? He sure as hell probably did. Wouldn't surprise me if he hurt Otis to save his own ass"

"Sacrificing Otis to the walkers? I don't know if he'd really go that far. Maybe it was like he said. Walkers got Otis and there was nothing he could do"

"Then how did he end up with two bags and the gun Amber? They probably would have carried a bag each. Otis was a big man by the looks of those photos" He said, pointing to the photos on fridge that I showed Daryl earlier. "He was slowin' Shane down. You heard him say it in his sleep! Somethin's not right. Bastard isn't to be trusted. You best stay away from him Amber"

/

"Shane would you speak for Otis?" Hershel asked as we gathered round the grave to hold a service.

I held Abby in my arms as I stood beside Daryl, watching Shane shift uncomfortably.

"I'm not good at it, sorry" he mumbled

"You were the last one with him, you shared his final moments. Please, I need to hear. I need to know his death had meaning" Patricia cried.

"We uh, we were almost done, pretty much outta ammo, we were down to pistols by then. I was limpin.. we gotta save the boy. That's what he said. He gave me his backpack and sent me ahead, said he'd take the rear and cover me. When I looked back.." He stopped, slowly limping forward. "If not for Otis I'd never made it out alive and that goes for Carl too. He saved us both. If any death ever had meaning, it was his." He said placing a rock on top of the rest.

He turned to go back, stopping when he caught my gaze. There was a look in his eye that I couldn't explain, and I couldn't help the shiver that ran down my spine.

Daryl was right, maybe it was best to stay away from him.

/

I stood with some of the group looking down at a map of the area.

"You're going nowhere. You gave three units of blood. You wouldn't be hiking five minutes in this heat before passing out" Hershel said to Rick, "And your ankle, push it and you'll be laid up a month" he directed towards Shane.

"Guess it's just me. I'm gonna head back to the creek, work my way from there" Daryl said.

"And me. Don't have to go with you if you don't want me to, but I'm looking for Sophia too"

"You gave blood yesterday too, are you up for it?" Rick asked, putting a hand on my arm, "I don't want you pushing yourself"

I smiled at him, "Rick I only gave a little bit, I'm completely fine. I'm going out to look for Sophia and I'm going to keep looking for her until I find her."

"Is she related to you?" Maggie asked.

I shook my head, "No but she's like a little sister to me."

"She's very lucky to have all you people looking for her" She said.

"We can't have our people out there with just knives, tomorrow we need the gun training we promised" Shane said

"I'd prefer it if you didn't carry guns on my property. We've done fine so far without them, I don't want this being turned into an armed camp"

"With all due respect-"

"It's fine" Rick interrupted Shane, "We're guests. This is Hershel's property and we'll respect that" He said, setting his revolver on the car. I set the one that Doc had left me beside Rick's and watched as Shane hesitated before setting his pistol down too.

I stared at his and Rick's guns, Shane's words from the funeral popping into my mind.

_We were down to pistols by then_. Shane had his own, which meant Otis had to have been using Rick's gun before he was killed. Scenarios of how Shane got the revolver off Otis were playing through my mind.

I looked at Daryl to see him staring at the guns before looking back at me. I guess we were thinking along the same lines.

"What happens if we find Sophia and she's bit?" Shane's question broke our gaze.

I narrowed my eyes at him, "She's not going to be. We'll find her and she'll be just fine"

Shane scoffed, "Come on Amber, it's been three days since _you _lost her" he said, emphasizing the you part.

"Hey man that's enough" Daryl snapped

"He's right, Shane. It's bad enough Amber and I feel guilty about what happened, there's no need to make it worse. _If _Sophia is bit, you do what has to be done."

"Well let's hope it doesn't come to that" I mumbled, walking away and heading towards Abby, who was helping, or attempting to help Carol and Beth set up a tent.

"Momma!" She squealed, running over to squeeze my legs.

I laughed at her, pulling her up into my arms, "Hi sweetie, you behaving?"

She nodded, "I'm building a tent, aren't I Carol?"

"You sure are Abby. You're doing all the work" Carol smiled.

"Is it ok if I go look for Sophia?" I asked Abby, not wanting her to think I was abandoning her for no reason.

"Yeah momma. After this Bethy is going to put makeup on me and turn me into a princess!" She giggled, clapping her hands excitedly.

"If that's alright?" Beth asked, looking unsure.

"Just as long as you and Carol don't mind looking after her for a bit?"

"Of course we don't. It's the least I can do for you since you're looking for Sophia" Carol said.

"Thanks, both of you"

"Oi McManus, ya comin' or what? Don't got all day!" I heard Daryl yell from the edge of the woods.

I rolled my eyes, "So much patience"

"Teach that boy some grammar while you're with him" Carol joked

I snorted, "The chances of Daryl using proper words and forming proper sentences are about as high as my chances of Johnny Depp confessing his undying love for me".

"I wonder what happened to him and all celebrities actually" Beth sighed.

"God knows but all their fame and fortune didn't do them any good after all" Carol said.

"I don't know, I bet Johnny could put on some sexy accent and woo all the female walkers" I joked.

I hugged Abby tightly before handing her off to Carol jogging over to Daryl.

Rick stopped me halfway, pulling me into a quick hug "You be careful out there alright?"

"I'll be fine, you just take it easy here" I said, hugging him back.

"Jesus what is it with you women bein' so slow" Daryl mumbled when I finally reached him.

"You just have no patience. Now lead the way" I said.


	19. Give Me A Sign

**Title is a Breaking Benjamin song. Anytime I use a song title or lyrics as a chapter title I'll let you know. This chapter includes a bit of playful interaction between Daryl and Amber, just them getting to know each other better!**

**Hope you enjoy ;)**

/

We had been walking in silence for a few moments when Daryl broke it, "Believe me now when I say Shane done somethin' to Otis? There's no way he could have limped away quickly enough to cause a big distance between him and Otis. If the walkers were that close they would have got Shane too"

"I guess. Plus Shane had his own handgun which means Otis would definitely have been using Rick's. Shane had to have taken it from him and he couldn't have taken it if the walkers got Otis"

"Which means he took it before hand" Daryl concluded, "You said Shane was yelling in his sleep for someone to let go of the bag. I'd say Otis had been holding on to the other bag and Shane was trying to get it off him"

"Why would he not have let go though?"

"Only thing I can think of is that Shane shot him, took the revolver and tried to grab the bag. If he got the stuff and ran on, well limped on, Otis would distract the walkers long enough that he could get away" He said.

I let out a deep breath, "Jesus, I knew the guy could be a bit crazy on it but that's just.. I don't even know"

"Like I said, just stay away from him. He's dangerous."

It was silent between us again, images of Otis being torn apart while Shane got away plagued my mind. I broke the silence, trying to distract myself.

"I wonder what Merle is doing, I wish he was here"

"You _wish_ he was here? Jesus girl, try livin' with him. You'd soon change your mind" He said causing me to giggle.

"I miss him and his ridiculous attempts at trying to get me to sleep with him. Honestly I don't know how women even fall for his chat up lines, if you can even call them that."

"He was more blunt and to the point"

"Hell yeah he was. Amber how about a quickie after your shift? Fancy havin' the fuck of your life? Or my personal favourite, Fuck that 'I'm no freddy flintstone but I can make your bed rock' chat up shit, I'm Merle Dixon, the man of many talents, and I can fuck ya so hard your bed won't rock, it'll break" I said imitating Merle's accent.

Daryl shook his head, "That's disgustin'. I actually feel sorry for ya"

I laughed, "Even though he didn't listen, I had to keep telling him that I wasn't a one night stand kinda girl, I was the relationship kind. He said he would never ever stick with one 'pussy' although he could maybe make an exception when it came to me because I was the kind of girl a Dixon would be proud to take home. I'm going to pretend there's a compliment in that somewhere"

"I suppose he's right. You'd fit in well with us" he said

I smiled, "Oh really? And what if I had caught your eye and you decided to take me on a date? What kind of date would we go on?"

He raised an eyebrow, "Do I look like I go on dates? I'm not into that stupid dinner at posh restaurants followed by a movie shit."

"Good thing I'm not either. Come on Daryl, humour me."

He was busy looking around for any sign of Sophia and I thought he wasn't going to answer.

"I'd take ya to the woods out the back of my home" He mumbled, "Go huntin' and take ya to this nice spot in the woods to rest and for some food" His hand gripped his crossbow tighter, and I could see a faint blush on his cheeks as he tried not to look in my direction. With his tense posture I could tell he was weary of my reaction.

"A typical Dixon date. I'd have really liked that actually."

"Ya don't need to lie for my sake. It's a dumb idea"

I sighed, getting annoyed that he'd put himself down like that, "I'm not lying! You should know by now that I say it how it is and that is actually a really nice idea. I know I would have loved that date. Plus it's so _you _and well thought out which would make the date even better. What would we talk about?"

He shrugged, "I don't know"

"Right, let's pretend now then. We're on the date and we're getting to know each other better so we play twenty questions or something. You go first."

"You're seriously pretending we're on a date right now?" He asked.

"Yes I am, now shut up and ask me a question. Anything you want to know about me?"

"How can I ask a question if you told me to shut up? Kinda doesn't work"

I rolled my eyes, "Stop being such a smartass"

He laughed, "Fine woman, favourite colour?"

"Hmm green. First time you had alcohol?"

Daryl laughed at that, "Probably when I was about twelve. The ol' man was away so me and Merle had the place to ourselves. Merle decided it was 'bout time he introduced me to his secret stash of alcohol. Man I was so sick, couldn't get outta bed the rest of the day. Ol' man came home and was 'bout ready to beat on me for not gettin' outta bed but Merle lied and said I had the flu. Didn't touch another beer for a good few years after that"

I bit my lip, deciding to ignore the small bit of information about Daryl's abusive father.

"What were you like as a kid?" He asked

"A total tomboy thanks to my brothers. Mom tried to dress me up in pink, frilly dresses but I'd always be adamant that I at least got to wear my converse with them. While most young girls were playing with dolls, I was rollin' around in the muck and getting into fights with my brothers. Dad always said I had a bit of a temper, guess I still do at times. When I got to my teens I think mum nearly had a heart attack at the stuff I used to wear. She always wanted me to be real girly, instead she got a teenage daughter that listened to metal, had holes and rips in nearly all her jeans, was obsessed with horror movies, came home with tattoos and loved spending most of her time in the woods gutting out the animals her daddy caught. I done well in school though and loved to read."

"What did you like to read?"

"Anything really, I liked fiction, especially books to do with vampires and I was a total sucker for a good romance. I love Pride and Prejudice; it's one of my favourite books. I'm kinda gutted I didn't get to bring it with me." I said. "Hmm, have you always had that crossbow?"

He nodded, "Pretty much. Got it when I was a teenager and guess I just stuck with it because I'm so used to it. When did you learn to hunt?"

"Well the first time my dad took me out I was around ten. I'm not really good at tracking, I always left that to him or my brothers. I used to always field dress the animals we caught and then when I learnt archery dad let me have a go at actually shooting the animal. I remember the first deer I ever got. I was about 15 at the time, it was a real hot summer's day and we had been tracking it for ages. We sat down to rest and the next thing I see is the beautiful deer just up ahead. I was that excited I could hardly keep my bow straight but I got it. Mind you it ran away and I nearly cried because I thought I lost it but we tracked it down. That was probably one of the proudest moments of my life" I laughed.

"Apart from that tattoo on your arm, have you got any others?" I asked

"On my back and Norma, my mom's name" He said.

"What was she like?"

He sighed, "I was real young when she died but I remember she had really blue eyes and curly blonde hair. She was like an angel. Always protectin' me and merle from our ol' man"

It was silent then and I wondered if I had went too far with the questions.

"Ever been in trouble with the law?" He suddenly asked.

"Not really. Got caught smoking in high school, guess that's as much trouble as I got into"

He laughed, "Man I'm surprised you didn't break the law anytime you were with Merle. Don't think he's ever not been arrested for something"

"Oh he did try, said I was too much of a goody two shoes. He tried persuading me to have sex with him in a public place" I grimaced.

"I bet he just thought you were playin' hard to get"

"Oh yeah" I laughed, "He said he liked a challenge"

Daryl snorted, "What an idiot"

We walked on in silence for a few minutes, each of us busying looking for signs that Sophia had been in the area. Daryl noticed a break in trees ahead and directed me to follow him

"I'd like to think at the end of this date you'd drive me home" I teased.

"Of course. Merle would have my hind if he knew I left ya behind" He laughed.

When we got through the trees, an old house stood in front of us.

I felt myself getting nervous wondering if Sophia was inside.

We walked forwards quietly, Daryl's crossbow drawn in case.

"Awk how nice of you to walk me to the door. If you're lucky I might invite you in for coffee and it will only be coffee. After that you can bugger off" I whispered.

He turned to me, eyebrow raised, "That's your way of showing hospitality to a man that took you out on a date?"

I shrugged, "You can't stay too late, I might have to work in the morning"

He smirked and shook his head before pushing open the door.

I grabbed one of my knives, holding it in front of me in case anything decided to jump out, "I'll check upstairs"

Without waiting on a reply, I crept quickly up the stairs, keeping my back to the walls as much as possible. Most of the doors were open and I could see empty rooms inside, but the door on the end of the hall was closed.

"Sophia are you in there?" I asked gently.

There was nothing but silence and I pushed open the door only to find another empty room.

I made my way downstairs just as Daryl was walking into the kitchen.

An empty can on tuna sat at the top of the bin and seemed to be left there quite recently. Daryl nodded towards a long cupboard door that was slightly ajar and pulled me behind him as we crept towards it.

"Sophia? It's Amber and Daryl" I said softly, my heart thumping that loudly I'm sure Daryl could hear it.

I could feel the excitement building in me, someone had been here recently and I hoped it was her.

I held my breath as Daryl threw open the door, only to let it out when the cupboard was empty. A pillow and blanket was all that was left in the small space.

I let out a sigh, before slumping down in one of the seats. I could feel the tears gathering in the corner of my eyes. Where the hell was she?

"Someone was here and they had to be pretty small to fit in there. If it's Sophia she'll be nearby. We'll find her" Daryl reassured, squeezing my shoulder.

"Do you think if she had been here, that she might come back?"

He nodded, "It's possible. If she had left but couldn't find anything else she would come back here. It's her only shelter."

I decided to come back again and hoped that next time she'd be here.

"Come on, let's head back" Daryl said, waiting for me at the back door.

"So I guess this is the end of our pretend date?" I asked, leaning against the door.

He laughed, "Yeah I guess it is"

"Well I had a nice time Daryl"

He smirked, "Maybe I'll just have to take you out on a second date"

"I'd like that very much" I joked.

It grew silent and I was suddenly aware of how close we were, Daryl's head tilted down towards mine.

"I think this is the part where you're supposed to kiss me now" I whispered, without thinking.

I could see the shock in Daryl's eyes as he pulled back and bit my lip as I felt my cheeks redden.

I dropped my head in embarrassment; of course he wouldn't want to kiss me. Now I've probably made things awkward.

I turned away, putting my hand on the door handle and trying to open the door when he used to his body to close it. I felt his hands on my cheeks, turning my head in his direction and only had a second to glance into his eyes before he pressed his lips to mine.

I stood there in surprise, the blood rushing through my ears.

He's _kissing_ me.

His lips were slightly chapped and he pressed them softly against mine. Wanting more pressure, I grew the courage and pressed mine more firmly against his, running my hands up his stomach to grab fistfuls of his top.

My knees were shaking with nerves and excitement and one of his arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me even closer to him as the other one tangled itself in my hair.

I felt like an electric buzz was running through my body, the feel of his facial hair scratching against my skin and the smell that was uniquely him was enough to make my thoughts go cloudly.

I hadn't kissed that many guys before and while I had thought several of them were really good kissers, I realised now they had only been average.

Daryl Dixon has many skills, and kissing is one of them.

He pulled back, both of us gasping for air.

"I definitely can't wait for that second date" I whispered, keeping my eyes closed.

Daryl laughing quietly caused me to open my eyes and we both blushed as we made eye contact. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously as he nodded towards the door, "Guess we better head back" He said.

We headed outside, neither of us knowing what to say as he walked around the grounds calling for Sophia.

I noticed two white flowers and walked towards them.

"Cherokee roses" Daryl said as he came to kneel beside me.

"I've never seen them before"

"American soldiers forced the Cherokee's off their land and stole all their gold. Many of the children died or disappeared. The elders prayed for something to lift the spirits of the women and where their tears had fallen, the flowers grew. The white of the petals represents the women's tears and the golden centre represents the gold that was taken from them. I guess it gave them hope. Figure I should take one for Carol"

I nodded, "That's a nice idea, and she'd really like that"

Daryl plucked one, turning to me. He stared at me for a few seconds before putting the flower in my hair, twisting the stem in with my curls.

He turned back to the other one plucking it from the ground, "I think this one bloomed for Sophia"

I felt warmness spread through me as I stared at him, holding the small flower.

I really hoped he was right, that this flower was the sign we needed. Sophia was alright, she had to be.


	20. Gossip and mixed signs

**Thanks to: MAR76, halodoll89 , pony832987, FanFicGirl10, kunfupandalover, Micky-Moo, Goldenfightergirl, maawwge, Dalonega Noquisi, BellaBloodrayne, Acid Rain2345, shika93, .Uchiha & punkrockpancake – **I thought it was good to show that Amber could still be caring towards Shane despite how he's been treating her. I just think it would have been cruel if she had left him and didn't show some comfort and yeah her and Lori will not be best friends after that lol They'll still disagree on many things but Amber's trying to sort of get along with her for the sake of Rick. I had to mention Johnny Depp, I'm in love with the man haha I couldn't just have them randomly kiss even though they both totally have the hots for each other, I tried to make it somewhat believable. Daryl's shocked reaction was really because he couldn't believe she'd want to kiss him, he didn't think she saw him like that. They both like each other, Daryl's just unsure of how to go about it and Amber's too shy but they'll get there lol

**And to everyone that has clicked follow and favourite. Each and every one of you are wonderful!**

**It was actually a lot harder to write that kiss scene than I thought. It's so easy to imagine it but when you try and get it into words it doesn't seem as good!**

**(I also mention one sentence about Amber gutting a squirrel, I don't go into detail so it looks like I've no idea what I'm talking about but I do know how to skin/gut animals, I do it with my family a lot, I just don't think it's that necessary to explain the whole process.)**

/

I walked out of Hershel's house later that day after checking in on Abby who was with Beth, to see Glen sitting on the stairs with a sad expression on his face as he stared at Maggie in the distance.

I sat down beside him throwing an arm around his shoulder, "What's wrong Glen?"

"Would you have sex with me?" He blurted out.

I felt my mouth drop open in surprise, "Um, uh-"

Glen's face turned bright red, "No no I'm not asking you, I wouldn't with you. I mean not that anything's wrong with you, it's just, you and Daryl-" he stopped.

"Me and Daryl what?" I asked

He shook his head, "Well you know, you two are like you know.. he looks at you when you don't realise and you talk.. a lot" He trailed off. "Anyway never mind, forget that whole sex thing" He laughed nervously.

"Glen, seriously, what the hell are you talking about?"

"I had sex with Maggie!" He blurted out.

I looked at him in shock for a few seconds before a large smile made its way across my face, "I so knew you thought she was hot! That night on the porch you could hardly form a proper sentence when you were talking to her" I laughed causing him to blush.

He sighed, "The reason I asked is because afterwards she said it was just a onetime thing and made it sound like it was bad or something. I was just wondering if it was me that put her off"

I was at a loss for what to say, not really use to having a conversation like this.

"I'm uh, I'm sure it wasn't bad. Look she's only just met you; you're an amazing, sweet guy Glen, she just hasn't got a chance to see that yet. Her sleeping with you like that so soon probably isn't something she'd normally do, but the end of the world kind of makes you do some weird stuff. Maybe she just wants to get to know you better before doing it again?" I said, patting him on the back awkwardly.

"I'm just not good at this kind of stuff. Girls confuse me" He huffed.

"Neither am I to be honest." I laughed, "Look just give her space and let her come to you. Don't let her know this is bothering you either. If she wants more of Glen you make her work for it" I smirked before standing up and heading towards Daryl, leaving behind a laughing Glen.

"You want some help with those?" I asked Daryl as I sat down on the ground opposite him, picking up one of the squirrels he caught on the way back to camp. Nothing was mentioned about the kiss on the way back and I sat nervously, not knowing whether to bring it up or not.

Without waiting on a response I took my knife and made a slice down the fur, then put my fingers inside and pulled it back. I was halfway through gutting the squirrel went I looked up at Daryl, noticing he had stopped what he was doing to watch me.

I raised an eyebrow, "What?"

He smirked, shaking his head, "Just looks a bit weird. Most girls would be sick at the thought of doin' this and here you are finger deep in blood and guts"

I smiled, "Good thing I'm not like most girls then"

I thought I heard him mumble 'that's true' but chose to ignore it.

"I miss doing this with my dad" I sighed.

"What do ya think he's doin' now?"

I shrugged, "Last I spoke to him, the family had made it to the cabin that belonged to my grandfather. It's in the woods and got a lake nearby. I'd like to think they're still there. They'd be safe there at least; I don't really see why they'd have to leave. I'm worried about my mom though"

"How come?"

I frowned as I thought about her, "I just don't think she's cut out for this kind of world. She's the complete opposite of my dad, brothers and myself. She wasn't the outdoors kind of person. She was a typical stay at home mom from the '50s kinda woman. I know my father would do anything to protect her but, I don't know"

"You just think this kind of world would be tougher on her than the rest of your family?" he offered.

I nodded, "Yeah something like that"

"But sometimes a world like this can make a person stronger, they have no choice but to toughen up. She'll be fine" He said

"I hope so"

We finished up the squirrels in a comfortable silence before I pulled out a rag from my pocket to clean my hands, the rag Daryl had given me back in Atlanta.

"Ya kept it" He said sounding surprised as he looked at it.

"Of course I did, you told me I could keep it after all"

"Just figured you'd throw it away"

I shrugged, "You gave it to me. Plus I think it comes in pretty handy sometimes and please Daryl, I know you have plenty of spare ones, so please use them and stop wiping your bloody hands on your shirt every time you get guts or blood on them" I scolded. "I can't imagine walker and squirrel guts being the easiest thing to get out of clothes"

He held his hands in front of him, "Yes _mom_" He said before taking out a rag and wiping his hands. "Anyway it's _my_ clothes, not like you'll be washin 'em"

"Actually Dixon, I will be. I'm going to wash mine and Abby's clothes and I'm doing yours while I'm at it, because no offense, but some of your shirts aren't smelling the nicest right now. Now when you're done, give the meat to Dale to cook and go get me your clothes." I said, before walking away to my tent I would be sharing with Abby.

Maggie and Beth had been kind enough to lend me some spare clothes and Glen got some for Abby and the others while him and Maggie had been in town. I took the pile of clothes and made my way down the well where Carol, Lori, Andrea and Maggie were washing the rest of the clothes.

We were enjoying the sun and a bit of small talk while we washed. It was nice to do something normal, to take the time and chat like we were a group of old friends.

Andrea sighed, "Why the hell am I sitting here washing clothes again?"

"It's called doing something productive" Lori snapped, scrubbing the shirt in her hands with a little too much force.

"Washing clothes is hardly productive. I should be up there with Dale on watch or gun training"

"Leave the watch to Dale and you'll get your damn gun training. I wish you'd stop bitching about that all the time!" Lori snapped, before getting up and storming off.

I looked at the girls in shock, "What the hell is shoved up her ass?" Maggie asked.

It was silent for a while before Andrea sighed changing the subject, "I really miss sex"

Carol laughed, "What is it with you and sex every time we're washing clothes?"

"And what is it with sex conversations recently?" I muttered causing them to look at me in confusion.

"I'm serious! It's not like we've much choice to pick from now either"

I laughed, "I'm sure there's someone here on camp you'd totally get it on with"

She shrugged, "Suppose if I had to choose, I'd pick Shane. He's quite sexy you know?"

"Nah not really. Sorry but he just does not do it for me" Carol grimaced.

"What about you Amber?" Andrea asked, "Don't you miss sex too?"

"Um, I don't know" I said, blushing.

"What you mean you don't- Are you a virgin?" Andrea asked, shock dripping from her words.

I shrugged, "I didn't have a serious enough relationship and I wasn't going to give it up for just anyone. I always thought I'd lose it to someone I loved." I kept my head down, concentrating on the top I was washing and trying to control my blushing.

"Well I think that's very respectable. You should be proud of that fact Amber, it's not something to give up to anyone, but unfortunately young girls don't seem to get that and sleep with the first guy that says I love you even when they don't" Carol said.

"Forget that now! It's the end of the world! Girl, you're like twenty four, we need to get you laid" Andrea said matter of factly.

"If you could pick anyone to lose your virginity to, who would it be?" Maggie asked, as her and Andrea leaned in close.

"Johnny Depp" I said, even though I knew they wanted me to pick someone from our group.

Andrea sighed in frustration, "Come on Amber, we mean anyone here!"

I pretended to think about it as I continued washing my clothes, "Ok the person I would choose would be.." I paused, "Dale"

Right in that moment, I really wished I had a camera to capture the priceless look on all three of their faces.

"Seriously, what the hell Amber, he's old enough to be your grandfather!" Andrea said disgusted.

Carol looked flustered as she tried to think of what to say, "Well maybe that's a good choice, I mean he's a respectful man and-"

I couldn't hold my straight face any longer and broke out into peals of laughter, "You should have seen the look on your faces!" I giggled, wiping the tears from my eyes.

Andrea let out a sigh of relief, "Thank god. Now seriously, what about Glen?"

I could see Maggie stiffen up and glare slightly at Andrea, almost as if she was pissed off that she'd suggest Glen.

"Oh no, not Glen, he's like a younger brother" I said, trying not to smile as I saw Maggie relax. "Plus I think he's kind of preoccupied with someone else" I said, catching Maggie's gaze and smirking slightly at her blush.

"Awk come on Amber, tell us who you'd give your V card to!" Andrea begged.

"Fine, but you three are sworn to secrecy and won't tell anyone!"

"Yeah yeah sure whatever, just tell us"

I avoided eye contact, "Daryl" I mumbled.

Maggie huffed, "We can't hear you Amber"

I groaned, nearly dying of embarrassment at their interest in my sex life, or lack of.

"I would want to lose my virginity to Daryl! There, I said it."

Andrea raised her eyebrows in shock, "Huh, I suppose I should have seen that coming. You are pretty close"

"I happen to think they'd make a nice couple. You'd be good for him" Carol smiled.

"But why?" Andrea asked.

I sighed, "I guess because I know him better than any of the other guys, and he's a really sweet guy when you get past that hard exterior. I know none of you are particularly fond of him because of his brother, but if you get to know him, you'll see he's a really nice guy deep down, he's really loyal and protective. I really like him, but he doesn't see me in that way so nothing will ever happen" I said, "Not to mention he's insanely hot" I giggled causing the others to laugh

A throat being cleared from behind us caught our attention and when I looked over my shoulder, I could have honestly said I would have died of embarrassment.

"D-daryl" I laughed nervously hoping like hell he didn't hear our conversation.

I couldn't quite make out the look in his eyes but his face didn't give any indication that he had so I relaxed slightly.

"I uh, brought my clothes, if that's still ok?" he said indicating to the pile in his arms.

"Oh yeah, no problem" I said, jumping up to take them from him.

We stood looking at each other in silence, only the sounds of splashing water and Andrea sniggering behind us.

"Well uh I'm gonna clean my arrows. Dinner should be ready soon" He said biting at his thumb.

"Ok we'll be up soon" I said, shifting from one foot to the other.

He nodded at the other three before walking away, all four of us watching him go.

"Please, please tell me he didn't hear that" I said, Maggie and Andrea laughing at my expense.

"You are totally hooked on him" Andrea giggled.

"But don't worry I think he has the hots for you too" Maggie winked.

I groaned, "I hate you both. This is the most embarrassing day of my life. If he heard that I'm going to kill you"

"Yeah yeah we love you too"

/

The group were sitting round the camp fire, enjoying the meal Dale cooked and reminiscing about life before the dead took over.

I looked over at Daryl, who quickly looked away when I caught his eye. I frowned, wondering what was wrong. It seemed like he had been avoiding me all afternoon.

"What about you Amber?" I heard someone ask, pulling my out of my thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"We were just talking about things we miss from our old lives" Glen said

_Our old lives_. It was quite a sad thought, knowing that life had changed for all of us forever and things would never go back to the way they were. We weren't just reminiscing; we were mourning the lives we used to have. In a way, talking about it was almost like putting closure on it.

"I miss waking up from a lie in on a weekend to the smell of pancakes that ma used to make and Sunday afternoon when the whole family would get together for dinner. I used to love going to the local pub on a Friday night, my cousins and a big group of our friends used to go. It was one of those places where everybody knew everybody and they'd play traditional Irish music and after a few drinks some would be up dancing" I said, laughing to myself as I thought back to the times we spent there.

"And I'm going to guess you were one of those people?" Carol smiled

I laughed, "Oh by the end of the night the whole place would be up dancing and singing"

Dale sighed, "I've always wanted to go to Ireland. Irma and I couldn't have children and since it was just us we used to go to different countries a lot when we were younger but never quite made it to that country"

"Maybe someday. Once all this is over you can come with me and I'll be your tour guide" I joked though we all fell silent at my words.

Would this ever be over? Would I ever get back home or would I be stuck in this country miles away from my family for the rest of however long I had?

After Rick announced that we should get to bed since we had an early start, I took Abby to our tent and got her ready for bed.

"I miss Sophia momma" She said, as I tucked her in.

I sighed, running my hand through her hair, "I know sweetie. I do to. But we'll find her and she'll be back with us in no time"

"And will she play with me again?" She asked

I smiled, "Aye she will. Goodnight Abby" I said, kissing her on the forehead and watching as she closed her eyes, snuggling into her teddy.

"Night night momma"

I went outside then taking down the clothes from the line that I had watched earlier and bringing them back into the tent. I folded them up into piles, leaving my clothes and Abby's in the tent and bringing Daryl his.

"Daryl?" I stood nervously outside his tent, waiting for him to reply.

"What?" He grunted.

"I uh, I have your clothes"

I heard some rustling before the tent door zipped open and was pulled aside.

He took the clothes before giving me a nod and began turning away again.

"I was thinking I could maybe go with you again tomorrow to look for Sophia" I said, watching as he dropped the clothes beside his bed.

"Nah don't think so. Best if I go alone."

I frowned, "But if I'm there-"

He turned to me, "If yer there you'll just be a distraction. We're supposed to be lookin' for the little girl not playin' some stupid question game and actin' like we wanna get to know each other better"

"I'll be there to help! And I do want to get to know you better and-"

"Well I don't want or need to get to know ya better. Just 'cos of some pretend date and a stupid kiss that didn't mean anythin' ya think we're suddenly all buddy and gonna be attached to the hip? I'm goin' alone" He said, not looking me in the eye and zipping up his tent.

I stood in shock outside his tent for a few seconds, before silently turning and walking away, blinking back the tears.

I'd be lying if I said that didn't hurt. I really liked him, more than I probably should but when we kissed, I thought that had meant something. At least it did to me. Of course I knew that one kiss wasn't going to drastically change things, but I thought it helped us become closer. I guess I thought wrong.

I tossed and turned that night, not being able to sleep because I was constantly replying what Daryl said and wondering how in the space of a day we could go from being friends, to him wanting rid of me. What had changed? I didn't think it was the kiss, even on the walk back to camp, we had been talking and carrying on like we usually do.

I sighed before getting up and throwing on my boots and jacket, before stepping out of the tent and heading towards the RV.

I climbed up the ladder to see Dale sitting on watch.

He smiled up at me, patting the seat beside him and threw half of the blanket over my legs.

"Can't sleep?" He asked.

"No" I mumbled, looking out over the farm.

He was silent for a few minutes before turning towards me, "I fell hard for Irma before we had even begun dating and what made it worse was that I didn't know how she felt about me either. We had been close friends and I was worried that pursuing a relationship with her would ruin everything we had. There were mixed signs, sometimes it felt like there would be nothing more than friendship and other times it felt like we were ready to take it further. Sometimes I think she didn't know what she wanted. But I didn't give up and I think that's one of the best decisions I ever made in my life. She was scared it would ruin things, she held back and while I was scared too, I knew I couldn't give up on her, not when I liked her so much. Then what do you know? We got married" He laughed, "Looking at you and Daryl reminds me of Irma and myself all those years ago"

I looked over at him then, raising an eyebrow.

He looked sheepish, "I overheard your conversation earlier with him. Honestly, I think the boy is scared. I know you like him and I'm pretty damn sure he likes you too. I always catch him looking at you when you don't know it, he's more protective over you than anyone else here and I think what helps is that you were friends with Merle and you're both missing him. What I'm trying to say is, don't give up. I can't imagine Daryl having the best life growing up so he probably isn't used to people caring for him, especially you."

"But Dale, he doesn't know I like him. Yeah we kissed but he's right, it doesn't mean things have changed. And you don't know for certain that he even feels that way about me. Maybe it's best nothing else happens, especially in a world like this."

"But you wouldn't have kissed him if you didn't like him, he's bound to know that. I think Daryl's scared of getting close to someone, that's why he's trying to push you away. But you can't give up. You'd be good for him and although he wouldn't be my first choice for you, I think he'd be good for you too. Just because it's the end of the world doesn't mean to say you can't find happiness. In fact it's in a world like this where you'd want to find it. You mark my words, soon enough Daryl will see what's in front of him and I can turn around and say I told you so" Dale laughed.

I sat with him a while longer before his watch was over and T-Dog took over. We said goodnight and I headed back to my tent, slipping into my sleeping bag quietly so as not to wake Abby.

I thought about what Dale said. I liked Daryl a lot, more than as a friend and I wasn't quite sure when that happened exactly. But I wasn't getting my hopes up that he liked me back. He didn't seem like he was the relationship type anyway.

I shook my head, getting annoyed at myself. I was a few years off 30 and here I was sulking over a guy like a teenage girl. I had a daughter to worry about, not whether some moody Dixon liked me back or not. My main priority was surviving this thing and protecting my daughter. I'd just let Daryl get on with his mood swings.


	21. You had me at hello

**Darrryl what are you playing at? Don't you know it's rude to kiss a girl, make her think things are finally getting somewhere and then in a polite way, tell her to piss off.**

**He must be on his man period.**

**Thanks FanFicGirl10 and Mar76**.

/

The next morning I was helping carol put more washing out on the line when Lori joined us.

"I had an idea I wanted to run by you both. That big kitchen of theirs got me thinking, I'd like to cook dinner for Hershel and his family. I'm kind of looking for things to keep my mind occupied" Carol said.

"Well after everything he's done for us it sounds like a good idea"

"Lori's right" I said, "It'll be a nice way to say thank you. I'm sure they'd really appreciate that."

Carol turned to Lori, "Would you mind asking? It just sounds right coming from you, with being Rick's wife and all, that sort of makes you our unofficial first lady"

Rick arrived then calling everyone who was looking for Sophia to gather round.

I said a quick goodbye to Abby and Dale who were sitting in the RV before joining Rick at the car.

"Everybody gets new search grids today. If she made it as far as the farmhouse that Daryl and Amber found yesterday then she might have went further east then we thought"

"I'd like to help, I know the area pretty well" A teenage boy came up to us, and although I hadn't seen much of him I realised this must have been Jimmy.

"Hershel ok with this?"

"Yeah he told me to ask you" He said

"What Daryl and Amber found doesn't scream Sophia to me. Anyone could have been holed up in that farm house" Shane cut in.

"Anybody includes her right?" Andrea said

"Whoever it was couldn't have been any bigger than around this height" Daryl said, using his hands to demonstrate a height which was around Sophia's.

"Maybe we'll pick up her trial again" Rick nodded.

"No maybe 'bout it. I'm gonna take a horse up to this ridge here, get a bird's eye view of the place" Daryl pointed out to an area on the map just as Dale arrived with the bag of guns.

"Maybe you'll see your chupacabra up there too" T-Dog teased.

"Chupacabra?" Rick and I asked at the same time, both confused as to what T-Dog meant.

"First night in camp, Daryl tells us the whole thing reminds him of the time he went squirrel hunting and saw a chupacabra" Dale informed us as he handed over our guns.

Rick checked mine was loaded for me, while Daryl gave off to Jimmy for laughing at him.

Jimmy reached over for a gun, only for Rick to stop him.

"If I'm going out I want one"

"Yeah and people in hell want slurpees" Daryl snapped back.

"Amber why don't you go with Daryl on-"

"No" I interrupted Rick quickly, "I'm going back to check the house"

It went silent then, Rick looking between us in confusion and I could feel both Andrea and Daryl drilling holes in my head with their staring.

"I don't think it's safe if we go alone" Rick said

I shrugged, "I can look after myself. I've been doing that long before I met you lot" I said, walking off towards the woods not waiting on a reply.

/

I snuck up the porch steps quietly, stepping slowly through the open door.

The house seemed a lot scarier now that I was by myself than it did yesterday.

I snuck halfway up the stairs, just enough that I could see into each of the rooms from where I stood. Noticing they were empty I began checking downstairs. I was in the living room when I heard a noise that sounded like something dropping from the kitchen across the way.

I put my back against the wall, and had to bite my lip to stop from calling out. I could feel my heart racing, hoping like hell it was Sophia only to be disappointed when I peered my head out the door, looking straight into the kitchen.

I gripped my knife tighter in my hand when my eyes met the back of a walker.

I quietly shuffled across the hall to the kitchen, cringing when the floorboards creaked under my feet. The walker turned to the noise just as I raised my knife and stabbed it through the head.

I shivered as I looked down at the body, only noting just how young the walker was. It probably wasn't any older than 17.

I searched through the rest of the house, packing things into the bag I brought that I thought might be useful to the group. I took a few blankets from a cupboard and took some of the canned food that was still in date.

I went out the back door, checking around the outside of the house to see if there had been any sign of Sophia.

I felt sick to my stomach that we still hadn't found her yet. How many days had it been now? I tried not to think the worst. If this had been before the world ended, we'd simply be looking for a little girl lost in the woods. But now there was a possibility that she wasn't just a little girl anymore.

I shook my head, almost hoping the bad thoughts would fly out of my mind. I looked towards the area where the Cherokee roses had grown and thought back to what Daryl said.

He thought the flower had bloomed for Sophia and that it was the sign we needed.

He was right. We'd find her, and she might be a little worse for wear but a shower, food and some sleep would fix her up. Then we'd go back to pretending to be sisters and her and Abby would have tea parties and play together like young girls should. There'd be no more worrying and Carol wouldn't have to be upset anymore.

All we needed was hope.

/

After giving Carol the canned food and being shooed out of the kitchen, I was sitting outside on the swing seat beside the RV with Abby reading her stories from a children's Disney story book that Glen found in town. Much to Abby's delight there were plenty of princess stories.

"I want shoes like Cinderella momma!" Abby said as she was curled up into my side.

I laughed at her, "Maybe next time Glen goes to the shop I'll ask him to get you some"

She smiled widely, "And some for you too! All princesses have to have pretty shoes like Cinderella" she said, matter of factly.

"WALKER!" Andrea yelled from atop the RV.

I grabbed Abby in my arms, rushing to stand beside Dale.

Rick, Shane, Glen and T-Dog gathered weapons and ran across field towards the woods.

I could just about make out the figure shuffling along.

"Bet I could nail it from here" Andrea said, looking through the scope on the gun.

"No Andrea, leave it!" Dale said, "Rick told you not to"

She rolled her eyes, before getting down on her stomach.

I looked out towards the men, noticing they had stopped a short distance from the walker.

Rick slowly stepped forward, lowering his gun and the others seemed to relax. As I looked closer at the walker, it was then I saw the crossbow.

My eyes widened in shock, "Andrea don't!"

She didn't listen and pulled the trigger, just as everyone from inside began to rush out.

She cheered when she noticed the 'walker' drop the floor.

"No! Andrea you fucking idiot, I said don't!" I shouted as Rick could be heard yelling no from down the field.

Carol grabbed Abby from my arms, allowing me to run towards the men.

"Daryl?!" I yelled, feeling the burn in my legs as I pushed myself harder.

"Is he dead?" I heard Andrea yell from behind me.

"He's fine, you just grazed him" Rick grunted as Shane and him began lifting Daryl.

"Oh thank god" I sighed, relief flowing through my body.

"What the hell happened to him? He's wearing ears!" Glen yelled, causing us to look at Daryl's neck and notice the necklace he had made.

"We keep this to ourselves" Rick hissed, ripping them off as we began walking back to the house.

"Hey isn't this Sophia's?" T-Dog said and we turned to see him holding Sophia's doll.

He handed it to me and I sucked in a huge breathe, my eyes filling with tears as I looked down at the dirty doll, spots of blood on its dress.

I looked at Rick then and could see the same shock on his face, the worry and guilt in his eyes.

We weren't sure whether this was a good sign or not.

/

Daryl came to as we all lifted him on to the bed. Hershel cut his shirt off and under all the dirt and blood I could see his front and back littered with scars. I froze as I looked at them, before quickly looking away and began cleaning his cut.

Suddenly I felt so stupid and guilty for crying over my scars, when Daryl's were worse and all over his body. I still hated mine, still felt disgusted when I looked at my body but couldn't help wondering what Daryl felt about his. His scars though didn't make me like him any less, make me see him differently or take away from how handsome I thought he was.

Daryl pushed my hand away as he tried covering himself up, "Get outta here" he snapped at me.

I paused what I was doing, frowning as I looked up at him, "I'm just-"

"Ya stupid or somethin'? I said get out!" He yelled, grabbing his cut up vest and throwing it over him.

I looked up at Rick, who looked shocked and angry, and he nodded at me.

I bit my lip, trying to blink back the tears before quickly walking out of the room and slamming the door shut.

"What the hell was that Daryl?" I heard Rick snap as I rushed down the hallway and out the front door.

I stopped at the steps when I saw Andrea, who paled slightly when she saw me, "Amber I am so, so sorry" She began.

I sat down on the stairs, "I could hit you or something right now I'm that angry. Why the hell didn't you listen to Rick? Or me? We said no Andrea and usually no means no! You could have killed Daryl and even if it was a walker, that shot was like ringing the dinner bell for walkers miles away!" I sighed, rubbing my hands over my face, "But I know you thought you were protecting the group and I can't fault you for that"

I looked over at her, to see her trying not to cry, "Am I forgiven?" She asked.

I sighed, throwing an arm around her shoulders, "You don't need to be forgiven. Thank God for your shitty shot" I joked.

Dale stepped out then and we moved apart, letting him sit down in between us.

"Are you alright?" He asked Andrea.

"I shot Daryl" She said.

"Don't be too hard on yourself. We've all wanted to shoot Daryl" He said casually, causing both of us to smile.

/

Carol stood up, "I'm going to bring a plate of food to Daryl" she said as she excused herself from the table.

"Does anybody know how to play guitar?" Glen asked, breaking the awkward silence that had settled in the room while we were eating dinner.

"Otis did" Patricia mumbled

"And he was very good at it" Hershel added, causing more awkward silence.

I pushed the food around my plate, feeling guilty for sitting here eating a hot meal, when Sophia was out there alone, scared and hungry.

"Momma can I have more 'tatoes?" Abby asked breaking my train of thought.

I laughed at her name for them, turning to look at her sitting on top of several cushions that we put on her chair so she was sitting high enough to eat. She had called it her throne and said she felt like a real princess.

"Of course honey" I said, grabbing the bowl of mashed potato and spooning more on her plate. While I felt guilty that Sophia wasn't here enjoying the meal with us, I was more than thankful Abby was getting a decent meal in her stomach tonight.

We finished off the meal with a bit of small talk and Carol began dishing out dessert. I wasn't overly hungry and gave my portion to Abby who was more than delighted.

"Slow down!" I laughed as she practically inhaled it.

"Would you bring this bowl to Daryl?" Carol asked.

I frowned at her, "I don't think he-"

"Go ahead" Rick said, "It'll be fine"

Sighing I took the bowl and walked to the room Daryl was staying in.

I knocked on the door and stood outside nervously.

"Yeah?"

I opened the door, "I brought you some dessert" I mumbled, as I sat it on the bedside table and picked up his empty plate.

"Wait Amber" He said as I began turning away. I looked at him over my shoulder, watching him pick at the duvet. "I'm sorry for earlier and last night"

I nodded, "It's fine"

He shook his head, "No it's not. Look why don't ya sit down for a bit?"

I sighed, closing the door and sat down in the chair beside his bed.

"I'm sorry for bein' such a dick to ya" He mumbled

"It's f-"

"Don't ya dare says it's fine. Ya didn't deserve that. Today I didn't want ya seein' me like that, to see this" He said referring to his body that was still covered with the duvet. "And last night, I didn't mean what I said."

"Then why did you say it?"

He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, "I overheard yer conversation when ya were washing clothes"

I groaned as I dropped my head in embarrassment. He heard, he had fucking heard the whole thing.

"Don't be embarrassed"

I looked at him, "I admitted I liked you and would lose my virginity to you and you heard! I'm not just embarrassed; I'm dying from humiliation right now!" I said, my face heating up.

He sighed, "I only said what I did last night because I'm not Rick or Glen" He muttered

"But why would you want to be them?"

He ran a hand through his hair, "I'm not good at this shit." He mumbled. "What I mean is, I'm not like them, I'm not good enough for ya. I like ya Amber, fuck I think I liked ya that very first time I met ya, when you were arguing with Merle. Ya practically had me at hello and when ya told me to kiss ya at the farmhouse I couldn't believe it. I thought I was one lucky son of a bitch. And when I heard ya say ya liked me, I couldn't believe my luck. But then I remembered who I was and who ya are. I'm just a Dixon, a guy that failed school and won't amount to shit. I ain't smart, not the kinda guy to take home to yer daddy, I hardly had any money, I lived in a trailer and had a shitty childhood. I've a body covered in scars from bein' beat on by my ol' man. I grew up bein' told that showin' emotions is for pussies, that I'm not good enough. And Merle and the ol' man were right, I ain't good enough for ya Amber, I'm damaged goods"

I blinked back the tears as I dragged my chair closer to his bed, grabbing his hand, "Daryl I don't want someone like Rick or Glen. You're right, you _are_ a Dixon, a Dixon that's strong, brave, protective and a Dixon that has the biggest heart. You have risked your life time and time again for this group, yet you ask for nothing in return. You are smart, being book smart doesn't mean anything, you're smart because you know how to survive. I don't care about money or whether you lived in a palace or a shoe box. I don't like you for those reasons. I like you because you're not afraid to be yourself, you're honest, you make the right decisions, you make me feel safe. You're one of the strongest and kindest guys I've ever known Daryl. Showing emotion isn't for pussies, it takes a _real _man to show his emotions and to show he's not afraid of doing so. You don't have to be like Merle, you can be your own person. A wise man once told me that the scars are a reminder of what we've been through, a reminder of what a strong person we've become" I said, remembering back to what Daryl said about my scars.

"I know what it's like to hate scars, they make you feel ugly, and it's hard to think otherwise, but those scars, while they're a reminder of something bad, they're also a reminder of how strong you are to have come through all that. You _are_ good enough Daryl and you _are _worth something. Without you this group would be nothing."

We stared at each other for a long moment and I could see the uncertainty in Daryl's eyes.

"You better believe me Daryl or I'll kick your ass until you do" I smiled, "I'll tell you every single day how much you mean to not just me, but all of us, if I have to"

He sighed, shaking his head, "Come 'ere" he said pulling back the duvet.

I crawled in beside him and relaxed against him as he wrapped an arm around me.

"You're too perfect" he mumbled into my air.

I laughed, "Nobody's perfect, especially me."

"I'm not good at this, I've never done relationships. I'll probably fuck up big time"

I looked up at him, "Daryl I'm just happy with knowing that you like me and that I like you back. I'm not asking for a fairytale. We'll take things slow and see how things go. But only if you want to"

"I suppose with me being your prince according to Abby, it's only right we see how things play from here"

I smiled, "So does this mean I get that second date?"

He laughed, "It means I get to kiss ya whenever I want" he said, before pressing his lips to mine.

I stomach erupted in butterflies, as our lips moved softly together.

We hadn't said we were in a relationship in so many words, but I knew Daryl implied it. He was giving us a chance and I was more than happy to let him kiss me anytime he wanted.

Daryl played with the ends of my hair, as he ran his tongue over my bottom lip asking for access. I opened my mouth, his tongue softly brushing against mine when a cough caused us to pull apart quickly.

Carol bit her lip trying not to laugh as she looked at us. We probably looked like school children caught red handed doing something we shouldn't have been.

"I knocked but there was no answer. I just came to collect the dishes" She said picking up the plate and bowl that contained the untouched dessert.

"Guess you were too busy to eat this" She smirked, "I'll keep it in the kitchen"

After she closed the door, I started giggling.

"What are ya laughin' at?" Daryl asked, squeezing me.

"I feel like we're teenagers getting caught making out by a parent or something" I laughed.

"Instead we're two adults getting' caught makin' out by Carol, who'll probably blab to Dale and then he'll give us those knowin' looks of his" He smirked. "I swear that man knows way more than he should"

"Would it bother you if others knew?"

He looked down at me, shaking his head, "Nah, it's better if they know yer mine, 'specially the guys so they know to keep their hands off ya"

I bit my lip as more butterflies erupted in my stomach, _yer mine_.

Yeah I could definitely get used to this.


	22. Unexpected

**Thanks to: BlooDsucKkerR69, kunfupandalover, BellaBloodrayne, Dalonega Noquisi, FanFicGirl10, hallodoll89, Micky-Moo, Buckismith, steffy2106 & Mariana Lestrange**

**I know Amber seems to be abandoning Abby a lot and that she's worse than Carol and Lori put together when it comes to looking after her child but it's only because she's out looking for Sophia a lot. Yes she sort of struggles with playing a mother role that she's not used to but she feels to blame that Sophia is out there and wants to find her more than anything. So I apologise if she seems like a terrible mother haha**

**Amber's being a bit cheesy in this one at some point haha**

/

The next morning as I was getting ready for the day I picked up the jacket I took from Atlanta when something fell from the pocket. Confused, I bent down to pick it up and smiled when I looked at the black leather string that held a silver pendant. I had taken it from the jewellery shop in Atlanta and thought I had lost it at the CDC.

I walked through the house, knocking on the kitchen door to catch the attention of Hershel and Beth.

"Excuse me, I was wondering if you had anything I could write a note with?"

Hershel stood from his seat, directing me to a room down the hall.

"This is my study, you should find pens on the desk and paper in the top drawer"

"Thank you" I said, walking over to sit down at the desk.

"Are you going to look for the little girl again? If so I'm going to have to ask you not to take one of my horses. One of your people yesterday took one without asking and it hasn't returned yet" He asked, watching me write.

"I'm going out yes but I'll be going on foot. Uhm if I see your horse I'll try and bring it back for you"

He smirked slightly, "I think it would be best if you concentrated on looking after yourself. My horse knows her way back. I'd also appreciate it if you remind your group that any walkers on my land will be dealt with by me" He said sternly, before leaving the room.

"Yes sir" I muttered.

"Glad you understand that" I heard him say from down the hall, causing me to blush, not realising he had heard me.

After writing the note and sticking it along with the necklace into an envelope I left it sitting on Daryl's pillow in his tent before walking over to Abby and Carol who were sitting on the swing seat.

"You heading out today?" Carol asked as I sat down with them.

"Yeah Rick has asked me to go to gun training so I'll practice with him for a bit, and as soon as he decides I can handle the weapon I'll head out. Do you mind if-"

"You don't need to ask, you know I'll look after her" She smiled

"Everybody get ready!" Shane yelled.

I said goodbye to Abby and Carol, and went to stand beside Dale who was in a heated discussion with Glen.

"Peach? Would you like one? Here take one" Glen said throwing a peach at me.

I raised my eyebrows in shock, "Um thanks?"

I looked at Dale in confusion. "Something wrong?"

"You're a nurse, right, so you know medical stuff?" He said to me, "Well have you ever known something and you've been sworn to secrecy but like you feel another person needs to know what the first person is hiding from them but you promised you wouldn't say anything and now you don't know what to do?" Glen asked, tumbling through his words without a break.

"I have absolutely no idea what you just said" I told him, "Whatever it is just say it Glen"

"Well firstly Lori's pregnant" He mumbled.

"She's what?!"

"You can't say anything!" Glen begged

"Does Rick know?" I asked.

"About Lori or the wa-" He stopped short, eyes widening

"The what?"

"Nothing! Nothing, so about Lori?" He mumbled on.

"Well I'd like to think he knows about Lori being-" The look on Glen's face stopped me midsentence, "She hasn't even told him?" The words dripping with disbelief.

"He doesn't know about anything and the only reason I know about Lori is because she needed me to get her a test from town. I'm telling you because you're a nurse, you'd know what to do when the baby comes. Look Amber I'm begging you, don't say anything!"

"Rick has a right to know! Not to mention this affects the whole group Glen"

"Hey Amber, you ready to go?" I heard Rick yell, looking over to see him help Daryl into his tent. Both of their faces dropped and I realised it must have been because of the expression on my face.

I groaned, rubbing a hand down my face, "I can't believe I'm keeping secrets from Rick but fine." I said before walking over to Rick and Daryl.

"Everything alright?" Rick asked

I tried to smile, "Yep perfect! Just peachy."

Rick raised an eyebrow at me before turning to Daryl, "I'll see you later man. Rest up"

"What's goin' on?" Daryl asked as I helped him into his tent, "And don't lie to me. I can tell yer lyin' to Rick"

I bit my lip, debating whether or not to tell Daryl after being sworn to secrecy by Glen. I groaned, knowing I couldn't keep anything from him.

"Lori's pregnant and Rick doesn't know. The only reason Glen told me was because I'm a nurse and he thinks I can help out"

Daryl snorted, "No wonder he doesn't know, bitch can't keep her legs closed, she probably doesn't know whose baby it is"

I felt my mouth drop open in shock, thinking about what Daryl said. It never crossed my mind that it could have been Shane's.

"Now I feel even worse for keeping this from Rick" I groaned.

"Ya best just leave whori grimes to her own problems. What ya doin' today anyway?"

I laughed at his nickname for Lori. "You're such a big child sometimes. And Rick just wants to make sure I can handle a gun ok, even though I know how to use it, and then after that I'm gonna take a look around for Sophia. Maybe head up the creek a bit."

"On yer own?" He asked, his eyebrows scrunching down in the middle.

"Yes Daryl, on my own. I'll be fine. You just relax here and get yourself all better. Nurse Amber will come by later to check on you"

"Is that a promise? I could get used to havin' my own personal nurse" He smirked.

Rolling my eyes at him, I shook my head laughing, "Stop being so dirty minded Dixon. I'll see you later" I turned to walk out the door when his hand grabbed onto mine.

"Wait" I turned to him, seeing him rubbing the back of his neck nervously and looking down at the floor, "Be careful"

I smiled at how shy he was, taking his face in my hands and pressing my lips against his, "Always am"

/

Daryl P.O.V

I shook my head, watching her walk towards the cars and the sway of her hips in those tight shorts as she walked.

Yep, I was definitely one lucky son of a bitch.

"What the hell?" I muttered, seeing the envelope on my pillow.

Easing myself down on the cot, I ripped it open and pulled out the paper.

_Dixon,_

_Firstly I hope to hell you're lying down and resting. I know you're a stubborn ass, probably just as stubborn as your brother and while you'll probably be bitchin' about following orders, you'll see it's for the best because if you aren't resting and getting yourself better, I'll kick your ass myself._

_Secondly, the main reason for this note, is to give you what's inside the envelope. I found it that time we were in Atlanta and I got stuck in the jewellery store. I thought you might like it, at least I hope you do. You don't have to keep it, but I guess I just thought it would be nice to have, something that represents you. Plus while on the topic of crossbows, I just want to say that you look pretty damn sexy with that thing ;)_

Confused, I shook the envelope and a black string fell out. Holding it up I realised the rope was a necklace and hanging on it was a silver crossbow.

"She's unbelievable" I muttered, reading the rest of the note.

_And really I just want to say, I meant everything I said last night. I'm not really used to telling someone how I feel so I figured if I write it down, it'll be easier._

_You're right about one thing, you're not perfect. Because nobody is. I sure as hell am not. But you're perfect for me. I know, cheesy right? You have your flaws, like everyone does but they're what makes you, well you and I like you, flaws and all. I just want you to know you're amazing. No matter what your dad or Merle ever said about you, they were wrong. You're strong, you're a leader, a protector, you're selfless, you risk your life day to day for us and we give you nothing in return. I didn't think it was possible to find happiness in a world like this. I'm in a country hundreds of miles away from my family, not knowing if they're alive or if I'll ever see them again. But then you and Abby walked into my lives. She gives me a reason to keep on fighting and you make me stronger each day. You might not think it, but it's the little things you do and say that make each day easier to deal with._

_I don't really know how it happened, one minute we're friends, the next I see you as more than that. Then you (eventually) tell me you like me too and here we are. Like two teenagers in the beginning of a relationship not really knowing what the hell to do. I still can't believe you like someone like me, I'm pretty damn lucky but then I started thinking of just how lucky you are. As the saying goes, "If you're lucky to be Irish.. you're lucky enough!" and while you might not be Irish, you've got a little Irish thing like me to call yours.. I'd say that'd make you pretty damn lucky ;)_

_I know you'll probably still disagree with everything I say, it's like I might as well be whistling jigs to a milestone (It's an Irish saying referring to trying to change your stubborn mind!) but it's the truth and I'll tell you it every day if I have to._

_Love, Amber._

I ran my finger over the silver crossbow before putting the necklace round my neck. I lay back on the bed, thinking about what I had just read.

She sure as hell was something. Nobody had ever talked about me in that way, or described me the way she did.

I was trailer trash. Just another Dixon that wouldn't amount to shit. I didn't deserve her and sure has hell couldn't understand what she saw in me.

Somewhere along the line I saw her in a different way and now she's making me fall for her. If Merle knew, he'd give me so much shit right now. He'd call me weak, say I'm a pussy for showing my emotions and being in a relationship, even if it is with the girl he saw as family.

I'd never be good enough for her, I'll fuck up big time, I'll say shit I don't mean. Being in a relationship isn't top priority in a world like this, but I could try, for her.

I reread over the letter and held on to the necklace. It's the first gift anyone's ever given me. I knew the first time I met her and saw her sticking up for herself against Merle that she'd sure be something and all of a sudden here's this fiery Irish friend of Merle's waltzing into my life too and telling me stuff about myself I didn't think was true, making me feel like I actually belonged.

I could feel the stinging in my eyes and the heavy feeling in my throat but refused to acknowledge it.

Merle's right, I was turning into a pussy, and when I found him again, he'll give me hell but when I thought of Amber, I shook my head realising I didn't really mind that much.

/

Amber P.O.V

"I don't know how I feel about you going out alone Amber, not after what happened to Daryl" Rick said running a hand through his hair.

"Rick, you're happy enough that I can use my gun so if I absolutely need to use it, then I can. I won't be long; I'll be back before tea and even if I'm not, don't be worrying. I can look after myself. I spent at least a month by myself looking after a young girl before I met the rest of you. I'm going to go to the spot that Daryl found Sophia's doll at and check around that area. There are a lot of abandoned farm houses; she could be holed up in any of them"

"And there could be something a lot more dangerous that a missing twelve year old holed up in them."

"You had no problem with me going on my own yesterday. Daryl got injured because he fell of a horse, that's all. I'm going Rick and I'll keep going on my own if I have to until I find her"

He put his hands on my shoulders, "Fine but you must be back before dark and if you think for one second that you're in danger you get your ass back here as quick as you can. Too many people have gotten hurt; I don't want you being next"

I smiled at him before pulling him into a hug, "I promise I'll be careful and I'm flattered you care so much"

"I told you Amber, you're family. You're like my annoying little sister, I have to be worried" He said, rubbing my back.

I pulled back, raising an eyebrow, "I'm going to ignore the annoying part" I laughed, "But you're like my big, over protective brother and I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Have you got everything you need?"

I nodded, "Water, some fruit Glen gave me, knives, gun and some bandages if I need them. Not that anything will happen"

"I know, but it's best to be on the safe side. I'll see you later"

I turned to Carl, "It's good to see you up and about again buddy. Can you do me a favour? Keep an eye on your dad while I'm gone and make sure he behaves himself. Now that you have the sheriff's hat, you have to take on the responsibility that comes with it" I joked

Carl laughed, "I will"

I said my goodbyes and headed towards the woods, walking past Lori who stood a little bit away from the group.

"I heard your good news"

She looked confused for a second before looking worried, "I told him not to say anything"

"Lori, it's Glen. You should know he can't keep anything to himself. He only told me because I'm a nurse, I can help you out. I haven't told Rick, it's not my place but I'm just letting you know that I'll help you through this"

"Thank you. It's just complicated; I don't know how to tell him"

"He loves you Lori. Always remember that. He went through hell to get back to you. It's a miracle he woke up from that coma and made it this far. Being pregnant might not be the best thing right now but it's not going to change how he feels about you and you know for a fact he'll do anything to protect you and this baby"

She nodded, "I know. Thanks"

/

I felt my stomach drop as I stood looking over the edge at the spot where Daryl fell. Part of the creek was still red from his blood and two walkers lay close together. From how high up I was I'm surprised the fall itself didn't kill him. I shook my head; things had been a lot worse than he was letting on.

I followed the creek for a while not finding any sign or indication that Sophia was or had been nearby. I wish I could duplicate myself and be in several places at once. I could cover more ground and find her faster. Nobody could last more than three days without water and I hoped to hell Sophia stayed near any of the rivers that ran through the woods; at least then she might have a fighting chance.

I stumbled across a clearing where an abandoned SUV was sitting. I could feel my hopes rising at the thought of Sophia being in it. The back windows were tinted and I couldn't see into the back seats through the other windows so I pulled open one of the back doors, my knife held tightly in my hand.

The smell hit me first and my heart jumped as I felt frozen in place when I noticed a walker sitting in the back, her head lifting at the noise. When its eyes landed on me, it seemed to muster strength from nowhere and leapt forward, hands out in claws and teeth smashing together.

I pushed the knife through its eye and up into the brain as we tumbled to the ground. I was starting to lose count of how many times walkers fell on me. With a groan I pushed her heavy weight off me and began to go through the car for any supplies.

Nothing. There was nothing in the car but a blanket, food wrappers and empty bottles and packets of a variation of sleeping pills and painkillers. I guessed she had overdosed and I wondered if it was because she had been infected and thought by killing herself she wouldn't become another one of those things.

I turned to look down at the body and felt myself stiffen in shock. Her top had ridden up to reveal her protruding abdomen. I wondered why she felt so heavy and I felt sick to my stomach when I realised why. She was pregnant. I sunk down on my knees beside her and ran my eyes over her body. Apart from the wound in my head, there was no blood, scratches or bites.

How was that possible? How could she be a walker if-

My eyes jumped to her stomach and it looked like something was moving under her skin. I wasn't stupid, I knew what it was and could feel the bile rising and had to swallow hard to stop it from coming up.

The next few moments went by like I wasn't really there, almost like my body was taken control of itself. One minute I'm grabbing the knife and cutting through the stomach for reasons I don't really know; sick curiosity, to prove me wrong, to put the baby out of its misery? The next minute I'm staring down at a baby; skin that should have been a healthy pink is instead a sickly green colour and its eyes stained yellow.

This baby should have been born in a hospital where it would have been wrapped up in a blanket and cuddled by its mother. And then it would have grown into a beautiful young child and grew up to develop a personality, relationships and to live a long and healthy life. Instead it died before it even had a chance to live. It came back to life as one of those mindless creatures, its arms outstretched and hands curling into claws as it looked up at me.

The bile rose and bent forward heaving onto the ground; the smell of blood and death and the image of the baby replying in my mind caused me to throw up what little contents I had in my stomach. I didn't give it much more thought before I thrust the knife into its skull, putting it out of its misery. I didn't even realise I was sobbing while I threw the blanket over the mother and child.

My mind was a mess trying to work out how not only the mother but the baby too could have become a walker. At the CDC Jenner confirmed what we all knew, if you get bitten or scratched, you died and became one of them. Usually whatever goes through a mother's bloodstream, enters the baby as well so if the mother had been bitten and infected, I could understand that the infection would have been passed onto the baby. Whatever a mother eats affects her baby, whatever she inhales is –

It felt like an ice cold bucket of water had been poured on top of me as something Jenner told me, cut through my mind.

_We think it's airborne._

Anything that's airborne means we take it into our bodies when we inhale, it enters our bloodstream and it's pumped around the body by the heart. Anything a mother inhales into her bloodstream enters the babies.

Why was I only remembering this now? Why did I not pick up on what he said back at the CDC?

It was airborne, whatever this infection was, was contaminating the air that we were breathing. The same air that those hundreds of walkers from the city inhaled, the same air this woman in front of me inhaled.

I stumbled through the woods sobbing, not really taking in my surroundings as my mind raced.

Jenner said if you get bitten or scratched you die, but was that only because it sped up the process? The affects of being bitten was like the flu, that's what killed you. That mother back there overdosed. That was what killed her, yet she became a walker. The baby died too yet came back as a walker.

It was in our bodies. This airborne infection was being pumped around our bodies in our blood and once our hearts stopped beating the infection attacks the brain like meningitis.

We were all fucking infected. It didn't matter how we died, if our brain wasn't damaged, we'd come back to life again.

I cried harder as I thought of my daughter back at camp. I had tried my hardest to protect her, to prevent her becoming one of those things, yet she was already infected.

We were all pretty much dead anyway.

/

Rick P.O.V

I looked around the yard and couldn't find Lori anywhere but assumed she was with Carol. Shane and Andrea were continuing with her gun training and the rest of our group were scattered about camp.

I stood outside Daryl's tent deciding to check in on him and saw him lying on his cot, twirling an arrow.

"How are you doing?"

He shrugged, "How would you feel if you were me?"

"Yeah I know, stupid question. Everything sorted between you and Amber?"

He looked up at me through narrowed eyes, "Why?"

"After the way you treated her yesterday? I noticed she didn't come back after bringing you food, I was taking that as a good sign"

"We're fine, not that it's anybody's business" He muttered

I sighed, "Daryl I care for her like she's my sister, of course it's my business. I don't want her or you being upset"

"You don't need to worry about me. I said we're fine"

I nodded, "Alright, well shout if you need anything"

"Hey" He called.

I turned back to him, "Uh thanks"

I nodded, "No problem"

"RICK!" I heard Dale yell.

Daryl looked at me confused before I left him, running to the RV.

Dale stood at the top holding binoculars in his hands, and pointed out to the woods, "I think it's Amber but I'm not sure"

"Glen come with me. Everyone else stay here and don't do anything stupid, I don't want a repeat of yesterday" I said running through the field with Glen a little ways behind me.

My heart leapt into my throat as Amber stumbled toward me, blood covering her t-shirt and hands. Her skin was pale and she looked dazed as tears fell down her cheeks.

I held a hand up to Glen, motioning for him to stop as I slowly walked forward to her.

"Amber? Are you hurt?" Not needing to elaborate, we both knew hurt covered many things, including being bitten.

She shook her head no before breaking down into sobs. I pulled her into my arms, her bloody hands gripping onto my t-shirt.

"Hey, hey, you're alright. I got you. What's wrong?"

I motioned for Glen to head back to camp, leaving Amber and I alone.

I ran my hands through her hair as I watched her stare out into the distance.

I felt myself start to panic slightly; I had _never_ seen her like this. She always seemed so strong and the one to comfort people when they were like this.

"I saw a walker, only she wasn't bitten or scratched. The only reason she died was because she overdosed."

I stiffened, not knowing how to reply.

"Jenner told me something and it never really registered with me until now. And he told you the same thing didn't he? Before we left the CDC. I saw him, and I saw your reaction. Tell me what he said" She demanded, looking up at me.

I gulped, "Amber I-" I stopped, not really sure that telling her while she was in this state was the best time.

"Don't lie to me Rick. I want to know. He told me. But I want to hear it from you"

I sighed, "He said it's airborne. He said that it's already in our bodies, we're all infected"

She nodded, laughing humourlessly, "Yeah he said something like that to me too. And guess what Rick? That walker was _pregnant._ I cut her open and the baby was one of _them._" She said, closing her eyes and shaking her head. "A baby Rick, a goddamn baby! How is that fair?"

I swallowed hard, feeling sick at what she must have seen, "I didn't tell anyone. I didn't want to drop that on them"

She nodded, "I know. I'll not say anything."

"Amber, I didn't say anything because I didn't want them giving up. Look how long we've survived, even before we knew this. If I had told them, they wouldn't want to fight anymore"

"Rick, you don't have to explain. I know. It's just not a matter of not getting bit anymore. It's about not dying full stop."

She raised a hand to her face to wipe the tears away, stopping when she noticed the blood.

"You're not going to give up on me are you? After finding out about this?" I said as I wiped my thumb under her eyes.

She shook her head, "On the way back I had a lot of time to think. It's still a shock, but we can't change what has happened, we've survived this long and it hasn't affected us. I just, I can't get that baby out of my mind. And what about our kids? Carl, Amber, Sophia? They're _children_ Rick. It's bad enough they've to be brought up in this world, but now they're infected too? That's what makes this worse. I'm not giving up, there's no way I'd do that to my daughter. I'm not one to give up easily and we'll be fine right?"

I nodded, "Yeah we'll get by just like we always do"

I kept glancing over at her as we walked back to camp. I know she said she wasn't going to give up, I believed her but what she saw in those woods wasn't something anyone could get over easily and knowing that the infection was flowing through her daughter didn't help.

But as long as we didn't get bitten or die any other way we'd be fine. Our children would be fine. I just hoped she knew that I was here to talk if she needed it, that she didn't have to bottle everything up.

I made eye contact with Daryl, who was holding on to his side and gripping a tree for support. I could see the worry in his eyes as he looked at Amber and it seemed he was struggling to hold himself back. I wasn't stupid, it was clear he cared for her.

I sighed, thinking it best I told him everything while Amber used Hershel's shower.

/

**Meh not sure what I think about this chapter. With doing nursing you work with a lot of midwives and a lot of my midwife friends have actually explained caesarean sections to me and we've been shown educational videos about it too so we'll pretend Amber knows about them too. I didn't go into detail about Amber cutting open the walker to get the baby out but to be honest, I don't think you're going to waste time doing it properly anyway. I think if I was in her shoes, I'd want to see the baby for myself too, kinda sick though lol. Also I thought it was good to show Amber having a bit of a breakdown. She's usually so strong and always comforting others but I thought something as sensitive as a walker baby would show you that side of her and that she's not strong all the time. I know she seems to have gotten over the whole being infected thing, but really the main reason she's upset is because of what she saw and because she keeps thinking of Abby being infected. What parent wouldn't be extremely upset at that? Really there's no point crying over something that she can't change, she realises that and they've been infected for so long now yet nothing has happened. **

**And I thought the letter shows off her big romantic side. She's kind of like Daryl, with not having had a serious relationship she finds it a bit hard to say these things in person and finds it easier to express her feelings written down.**


	23. Playtime

**Thanks to: lovelivebelieve, FanFicGirl10, MAR76, felicia2235, BloodsucKkerR69, kunfupandalover, arrowsandkittens, BellaBloodrayne and Mariana Lestrange**

**I'm thinking of changing the name of this story, I'm not sure I like it anymore. I literally only called it this for the Irish bit so you knew the character was from Ireland haha I suck at titles. Suggestions welcome :)**

**This is just a bit of a filler**

/

I stood in the shower, letting the water not only wash away the blood, but all the emotions with it. I wasn't going to let this get to me. Like Rick said, we've been infected for so long already yet it hasn't affected us. Why should knowing about it, make a difference really? The one thing I don't think I'd get over for a while was seeing the baby. It was my own fault, I know that but even before seeing it, I just knew by the movement under the woman's skin what I'd find.

I could trust that Rick wouldn't tell many people and sure as hell hoped he didn't mention it to Lori, not with her being pregnant. I wonder if he knew yet and I was starting to regret my decision in telling him what I saw. What if that's all he could think about when he looked at Lori's stomach?

I'd do everything I could to ensure Lori had a healthy pregnancy but couldn't help the question of what if passing through my mind. What if the baby died when Lori was still alive, what if they both died?

I shook my head, getting annoyed with myself. Right from the beginning of time women gave birth naturally, with no hospitals or equipment. If our ancestors could do it, so could we.

After showering I stepped outside, all eyes landing on me. I felt myself flush in embarrassment and kept my head down as I walked over to the RV, where Carol, Carl and Abby were sitting outside it.

"How are you feeling dear?" Dale asked from atop the RV.

"I'm better now thanks" I said, sitting down beside Carol and pulling Abby into my lap.

Carol put a hand on my shoulder, "Rick just told us you had a bit of an encounter with a walker, he didn't say much else. Are you sure you're ok?"

Silently thanking Rick to myself that he didn't tell anyone the details I nodded, "Yeah honestly. Just had a bit of a breakdown but I'm fine now"

"Do you think it was near Sophia?" Carl asked, causing Carol to stiffen up beside me.

I shook my head, "No, I don't think it was. There was no indication that Sophia had been in the area, I think I may have went too far and the walker, well it had been stuck in a car. I don't think they're smart enough to know how to open the door"

"Maybe I can come out with you next time. She's my friend too." He said

"I know, you can if you like but I'm not making any promises. It's up to your parents."

"Thanks Amber! I'm going to go ask my dad later" He said.

"Shouldn't he be resting?" I nodded towards where Daryl and Rick were having a conversation away from the group

Carol snorted, "It's Daryl, since when did he listen to orders?"

I laughed, "That's true."

I looked down at Amber, "And have you been a good girl today?"

She nodded, "Yep, Carol read me stories!"

"She's always a good girl. Beth brought down some stuff for the kids, a football for Carl and nail polish since Abby had been asking all day to have her nails coloured in but she wanted you to do them"

"Yeah momma please can you colour in my nails?" She asked, clasping her little hands together.

I giggled at her, "You're too cute sometimes. How about we play football with Carl first and I'll do your nails after?"

Carl jumped up, "You want to play football with me?!"

I laughed at how excited he was, "Of course. I am so going to win though"

Carl got a determined look on his face, "It is on!" he said before running off with the ball away from camp.

"Hey T, Glen, come play some football" I shouted over to them, shaking my head at how excited they looked.

"Momma I wanna be on your team!" Abby said as I stood up.

"Of course you're going to be on my team" I said before putting my hands out to Carol.

"Oh no, I am not playing football! I'm terrible at it"

I pulled her up anyway, "So am I, but it's a bit of fun. Go on Carl's time, to make it mixed teams. Glen be in my time please!"

"Hey that's not fair, he's fast!" Carl shouted

"Which is exactly why I chose him!"

"It's alright little man, we'll kick their asses" T-Dog said, high fiving him.

"Dale, you joining us?"

He shook his head, "I'll stay up here and be referee, I think it will be fun watching this"

Beth stepped out of her house then, walking down to join us, "I heard you guys were playing football, mind if I join?"

"No problem at all, the more the merrier!"

"Momma let Bethy be on our team" Abby begged

"I can be your goalie?" Beth offered

"Sure sounds like a plan"

After using flower pots as goal posts we got into our places. Myself, Abby, Glen and Beth in one team and Carl, T-Dog and Carol on the other. After rock, paper, scissors it was decided my team would start. Glen and I stood in the middle and when Dale called for us to begin; I passed the ball to Glen who immediately took off towards the goal. I ran down the field with him and T-Dog stormed towards Glen, but Glen was kick, passing the ball to me and dodging T-Dog. I laughed as Carol approached me, not quite sure how to tackle. When Glen was ahead of T-Dog I passed the ball back to him and he booted it through Carl's legs.

"Yes!" He cheered, fist pumping the air.

The game continued on, though it was mostly a competition between T-Dog and Glen to see who could keep the ball the longest and score.

"Momma! You're running too fast!" Abby said, stomping her foot.

I laughed at her, "Awk I'm sorry, hop on." I said, bending down to give her a piggy back ride.

Once she was on, Glen passed me the ball and I ran for the goal, Abby giggling hysterically in my ear. Once close enough, I took her off my back and set her down at the ball, "Kick it in Abby!"

She picked the ball up, lining it right in front of the goal, causing everyone to laugh. With as much strength as she could, she kicked the ball, Carl diving the wrong way to pretend he missed it.

As soon as the ball went in Abby jumped up and down as everyone else cheered, "I won momma, I won!"

I laughed, picking her up and swinging her around, "That you did!"

The game was 2-1 to us by the time Rick and Daryl joined us, Rick joining my team and T-Dog taking over as goalie for his team, allowing Carl out into the field.

"You know we're going to win right? We're playing against a team that has two cripples" Rick said, nodding to Daryl and Carl.

Glen laughed, "Actually I think we're going to win because we have Abby on our team" he joked.

"You're going down dad!" Carl shouted

"Yeah you keep thinking that son!"

When Rick had the ball, Daryl ran into him causing the both of them to fall. While they were trying to get up I got the ball from under Daryl, "Thanks Dixon!"

Glen tried blocking Carl as I ran toward the goal, laughing when Carol stepped out of my way. Just as I was about to aim for the goal a pair of arms wrapped around my waist, spinning me away from the ball and allowing Carl to get it.

"Hey!" I was turned around, to come eye to eye with a smirking Daryl, "Hi"

I blushed, as I noticed him wearing the necklace, "You're wearing it"

I suddenly went shy, not really knowing how to act around him after knowing he read the note. Had I scared him off?

"Course I am. This Irish girl with a real temper got it for me. I'm afraid not to wear it in case she beats me up for bein' ungrateful"

I rolled my eyes, punching him in the chest.

"See, she even beats me up when I've done nothin' wrong!"

"Maybe I'm hitting you for that stunt you just pulled. I could have scored!"

He smirked slightly, before getting a serious look on his face, "Thank you"

I could tell we were no longer talking about football, but the note I left earlier.

I shrug, "Just speaking the truth"

We stared at each other in silence and Daryl started to lean his face closer to mine, only to be interrupted by Glen, "I knew there was something going on with you two!"

We jumped apart to see everyone staring at us, Glen with a smug expression, Rick trying to hide his smirk and the rest looking on in surprise.

"What the hell y'all gawkin' at?" Daryl snapped before storming back to his tent, rubbing the back of his neck. I noticed he seemed to do that a lot when he was embarrassed or nervous.

I tried to bite my lip from laughing, knowing not to bring up the fact that I noticed him blushing slightly.

It didn't annoy me that he stormed off; I knew Daryl wasn't one for PDA or expressing his emotions in general, unless it was anger.

Carl took that moment while we were all distracted to kick the ball through the goal making the score 2-2, "YES!"

"Hey that's not fair!" Glen complained.

"Yeah son, since when did you become such a sneak?" Rick asked chasing Carl around the yard.

I shook my head as I watched the two of them and couldn't help but smile as I looked around the group. It was moments like these that kept us going, that showed despite the world we were living in now, we could have some normalcy.

While Glen and T-Dog continued to play with the ball, Beth went back inside and Carol and I brought Abby into the RV to paint her nails.

"What colour do you want?" I asked Abby as I looked at the range of colours Beth had let us borrow.

"Hmm, all of them! You and Carol have to colour your nails too"

"Guess we better get started then"

/

I watched as Abby went around the group proudly showing off her colourful nails as we sat around the fire eating and also delighting in the fact she no longer had her arm cast on. Hershel had an electric hand saw which we could use thanks to his generators and although it wasn't a medical cast cutter, it did the job and he managed to safely cut it off her.

I glanced over at Rick to see him staring at Lori's stomach every few seconds, his head bent close to hers as they whispered. So she must have told him.

I looked down at her stomach, thinking back to the baby I saw earlier. I set my plate on the floor, suddenly losing my appetite and my eyes began to sting with tears as the images of the woman and baby kept racing through my mind, only this time I couldn't help but picture it being Lori.

What if that happened to her? I don't think Rick could cope if anything ever happened his wife and unborn child. I'd never get over seeing that baby, even years from now. Something like that, an innocent life becoming a mindless creature driven by the need for blood, was something you could never think about or get over. If I found it bad enough, how would Rick find it if it happened to his family?

What if the baby died when Lori was still alive? I gripped my chair, trying to take deep breathes through my nose without drawing attention to myself.

"Amber?" My eyes shot up to Rick, whose face was pale as he caught me staring at Lori's stomach and I knew then he realised what I was thinking about.

I know I was exaggerating slightly but as I looked at Rick and Lori, images of a walker baby moving around inside her womb, trying to eat its way out of her played across my mind.

I shot up from my seat, feeling all eyes on me as I ran behind our tents and into the woods.

I grabbed onto a tree for support as I bent forward and emptied the contents of my stomach onto the ground.

"Momma?" I heard Abby ask

"It's ok sweetie, she'll be back soon" Carol replied to her.

I sat down against the tree, putting my head on my knees.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid" I muttered to myself, calling myself stupid for thinking something like that in the first place and for being stupid enough to be caught by Rick. Now the poor man probably won't stop thinking about something happening to his baby after I told him what happened earlier.

"I know I'm stupid but ya don't need to keep tellin' me" I heard, looking up to see Daryl standing with a bottle of water in his hands.

"This is the second time I've seen ya like this. Don't start makin' it a tradition, it's not very attractive" He said, referring to the time at the church.

I took the bottle from him, washing my mouth out, "I'll try not to"

He sat down against a tree opposite me, lowering his voice, "Rick told me."

"Told you what exactly?" I said

"Everythin', what happened today, about what Jenner said. The way I saw ya today.. Jesus Amber it scared the shit outta me. Think you scared the shit outta everyone"

"Sorry" I mumbled

"Yer comin' out with me tomorrow, Rick's right. Can't be goin' alone with all the shit that's happened recently"

"No Daryl, you're going to be resting. You shouldn't even be up and about right now!"

He rolled his eyes, "Jesus not you too woman"

"Well you don't want the wound getting worse do you?"

He stood up, offering me his hands and pulled me up, wincing slightly "Quit yer worryin'. Now let's get back"

"I saw that look on your face when pulling me up pulled on your wound. Told you, you shouldn't be up yet. Of course I'm going to be worrying"

He sighed, "Yer my woman, not my ma so stop it"

"Your woman huh?"

"That's what I said" He mumbled, biting at his lip, "Well ya ain't anyone elses, are ya?"

I sighed, pulling it away from his mouth, "And you're my man"

"Well ya sure as shit ain't callin' me yer boyfriend. I'm a _man_, not a _boy_"

/

The urge to pee woke me up that night and after finishing my business, I was heading back to my tent when I saw Rick sitting up on the RV.

I pulled myself up the ladder, sitting down in the seat beside him.

"You alright?" He asked, referring to earlier at dinner.

I sighed, "Yeah sorry. Just couldn't stop thinking about.. well you know"

"Lori told me you knew about the baby. You were thinking about what would happen to the baby weren't you?"

"I don't mean to worry you Rick. I'm just being stupid"

"No you're not" He sighed, "Even if you hadn't mentioned anything about a baby earlier, I would have been thinking about what Jenner said anyway. I know that the baby's going to have the virus"

"Does anyone else know?"

"About the baby or the virus?"

"Both I guess"

"The only person I've told everything to is Daryl. Glen told Lori that you and Dale know about the baby, but that's it. Everyone else is clueless."

"Well I think we can both agree that Lori is certainly one person who doesn't need to know what I saw. I'll help the both of you out as much as I can. We'll have to get her vitamin supplements and folic acid. As for delivery, well I've never done one before but I know enough about it. Your wife and little son or daughter are going to be just fine Rick"

He reached over, squeezing my hand, "Thank you. For everything"

"That's what family's for"

It was silent between us, as we looked out at Hershel's land.

"Hershel's expecting us to move on" He whispered.

I turned to him, "We're not leaving until we find Sophia"

He nodded, "I know, he said once we find her and everyone is up on their feet, he'll be expecting us to leave. It's going to kill every one, they're starting to settle down here"

I studied his profile as he looked ahead, his shoulders were slumped and he looked tired, defeated. Rick was carrying everything on his shoulders.

"Rick, even if he expects us to leave, we'll find somewhere else. There's bound to be somewhere that we can make a life for ourselves."

He sighed, "I hope so" He glanced over at me smirking, "Shane's convinced Sophia's a lost cause"

I scoffed, "Of course he does. I bet he told you to call off the search? We're going to find her Rick"

"How long has it been now, four, five days? I've lost count. With the walkers, I'd be surprised if she even lasted that long"

"See that's the problem right there Rick, that attitude. That's the attitude of someone giving up. You're only saying this because of Shane. Yes, I've thought about it, I know she could be one of those things by now but I'm not letting it get to me. If we had that attitude from the start we would have given up. Same way if I had let what Jenner said get to me, or the walker I saw earlier. If we let that get to us, we let it bring us down. I'm not stopping until I find her, one way or the other. We're the reason she's out there Rick and even if Sophia is.. dead.. Carol needs some sort of closure. We all do. It's the not knowing that's the worst thing about this."

He sighed, nodding in agreement, "I know, I'm sorry. I just.. nothing's ever fucking easy is it? We'll find her..So you and Daryl huh?"

I blushed, looking away from him, "What about us?"

"I'm assuming after he snapped at you the other day you two have more than made up"

"Yes, he apologised. We're good again"

"More than good?" He asked, wiggling his eyebrows, "Go on give me the details"

"Rick!" I giggled, "There's nothing really to say"

"Other than you two being an item? It's alright, I already know.. Daryl admitted to it, many not in so many words"

"Yeah, he doesn't want to be known as 'boyfriend', it's not manly enough" I giggled.

"Just be careful with him"

"What do you mean?"

"I can't imagine Daryl having had many serious relationships in his life, plus he's not one for really sharing his feelings. I guess I just don't want you expecting too much in case you get hurt"

"I know Daryl hasn't had any example of what a loving relationship should be and that he's not into PDA and finds it hard to express himself, but that's Daryl. I'm not expecting him to be some mushy, romantic because it wouldn't be him. I like him for the way he is and I want him to be himself. I still think in a way he's still having a hard time admitting he's actually in a relationship"

"Oh you don't need to worry about that, he knows he's in one. Damn near took the head off me earlier for staring at you too long. Said I already had one woman to worry about and that just because I shared my wife with someone else doesn't mean he's going to share his woman"

I mouth drop open in shock, "He said that about Lori?"

Rick sighed, "I had my suspicions about her and Shane; she told me the truth earlier. I know you know, in fact I'm pretty sure everyone did and I know there's a possibility this baby isn't mine either. Anyway, even though Daryl might not show it much, you're his and he's sure as hell yours. I think he even likes you more than he realises"

"Rick, this baby _is _yours. Even if technically it isn't, all Shane was, was a sperm donor. This baby is a Grimes and it's going to be raised as one. And of course I'm going to be the kick ass auntie that lets them away with anything"

He chuckled, "I bet Lori will love that"

I stood up, "I'm going to go back to sleep. Don't stay up too late"

"Yes _mother"_


End file.
